Only $25…
…to find out how an episode on the CSN came about.
Half price status…
Always a good buy.
And what was the “Victory”?? They still need to “ensure” they complete their construction target. So the victory was convincing people to show up for yet another fundraiser?
Are you ready?
They’re still getting ready? Surely they are now overwhelmed with people flooding into the orgs (haha)
Part Time $1000/week…
Yeah, sure. If you buy this line you deserve everything you (don’t) get.
Not very convincing
Something a little more impressive next time perhaps?
Cashing in on their name…
How do you “have” that?
They must be having trouble
They’re trying to convince people that being on staff is good for the kids.
Seriously?
Anything to get people to show up
Just try to avoid the regges…
Isn’t there a free movie that might attract a bigger crowd than this one?
How about Central Intelligence, it has a crowd-pleasing mention of scientology.
More weak sauce…
I joined staff to give myself a birthday present?
Swingers at SH
More “have it all”…
Wonder how often that kid sees her mother?
WTF?
No idea what this is supposed to mean?
The Chan Man is back
Some more “Prosperity” pitch
Again, what was this “victory”?
Meet our building?
Only that crazy old Scot could come up with something as oddball as this…
Food, glorious food
Colombian too… High on the list of desirable cuisines? Maybe the recipes involve the Way to Happiness?
Maiden Voyage is baaacckkk!
4 weeks in a row of endless call-in for lame events.
A new gimmick
But the question is why isn’t this the alliance for the entire world? Or US and Canada? Or North America.
The switch is flipped?
What switch? They turned out the lights?
“With the launch of our new scientology network, are you ready?”
That is the funniest piece of bullshit I have seen so far from the broken mind of any scientologist.
Deluded? We thought so.
But… but… if West US and East US have merged, will we still get the amazing ‘poetry’ from the EUS Eagles?
These are the important questions we should be asking, obvs.
Itsy bitsy Davy
Lying through his teeth
Pope Pinocchio
We know your dirty deeds
Living off the money
Finagled out of whales
Now itsy bitsy Davy
It’s time to go to jai!
Sonny Bono was a scio for two decades and tried numerous times to leave the cult. DM wanted to speak at Sonny’s funeral (to make a splash in the news) but lost out to the Catholics. Then they tried to recruit his widow Rep. Mary Bono (R-Calif.) and she told them to scram after seeing what the cult had done to Sonny.
New York Post, July 15, 1999
Nothing is too low for this cult and I was very fortunate they only took six months of my life and my 1956 Chevy.
Rod M, you say “…after seeing what the cult had done to Sonny (Bono”. What did the cult do to him?
In the Chicago “status” piece – and how bizarre is it, to not only be selling statuses, but slicing and dicing them? – I’m guessing “Tom C” is likely “whale” Tom Cummins, but I can’t figure out “Jim B.” Any guesses?
It’s interesting to see Edinburgh beating around the bush about a building – it’s hard to tell whether they’re just trying to lure people with “postulates” about how lovely it would be to have an “ideal” facility, or if they actually have set their sights on a specific property. I’ve been suspecting that as one of the UK’s larger metro areas, they would show up relatively high on the priority list for locations to open “ideal” facilities – I wonder whether they will finally succeed in getting a historic property (someone posted a link about their last, failed attempt) or if their brave leader is going to have to try to keep up the excitement over one of the sort of ugly outlying office buildings that Scientology seems to prefer to buy (cheap) these days.
Tom Cummins and Jim Bridgeforth.
Edinburgh City Centre has the most overpriced and overhyped real estate in Scotland. The only affordable areas in Edinburgh are in areas that the public buses will not go at night or will only go with onboard security. If this dick-head thinks that they can buy a property of historical significance then, it would have to be a modern property that was home to a notorious crime and nobody but nobody wanted to be associated with it.
Just over a year ago, it was reported that the Edinburgh org been rebuffed in an effort to take over a historic public building in the city center, though in that case it was apparently a long-term lease that presumably wouldn’t have cost them too much up front. Scientology has the money if they want to spend it, as they did for a prime property in London, but at this point they might decide to go cheap as they have been doing with some other orgs, so it would be very interesting to see if they have targeted a specific Edinburgh property.
It occurs to me, their willingness to lease a prime property, which presumably would put the local org in the position of needing to be perpetually subsidized, shows how the “ideal” org program is more about finding a way to use up Scientology’s accumulated cash while trying to burnish their PR image, than somehow making money through real estate (as John P. has covered in detail, their strategy is a flawed one that would probably never even recover the money put in to the properties, particularly given the high cost of their needlessly extravagant and uselessly specialized renovations).
This is where I get confused. In Scotland you can’t just move into a building and do what you want. If the building was an office or a shop for example Scientology would first have to apply for and get approval from the city council for a change of use. If the building was historical then any change to the interior or exterior of the building would have to be approved by Scottish Natural Heritage. This is a body that stopped a Victorian villa in Killin from installing double glazing as it would cause the light to reflect differently thus changing the authenticity of the building. This is an organisation that has unlimited power to enforce their view on how a building may or may not be changed. Would DM really want to get into a fight with the Scottish legal system? Scientology does not appear to be the type of organisation that would like the SNH or council building control watching every move. Their only chance of getting a relatively easy ride from the council would be to buy in one of the less affluent areas that quite frankly are dangerous at night.
When my wife was working in Columbia she ran across sweet alcoholic coffee and Guinea pig as menu items.
I’ve been working in the Sea Org
All the livelong day
I’ve been working in the Sea Org
Just to piss my life away
Can’t you hear the whistle blowing
Rise up so early in the morn
Can’t you hear Miscavige shouting
Ass-wipe, eat my shorts
Gawd I wanna blow
Gawd I wanna blow
Gawd I wanna blow this morgue
Gawd I wanna blow
Gawd I wanna blow
Gawd I wanna blow this morgue
Someone’s getting beaten by Davy
Someone’s getting beaten I know
Someone’s getting beaten by Davy
Joining Heber in the Hole, and singing
Fie, fi, fiddly i o
Fie, fi, fiddly i o
Fie, fi, fiddly i o
Plotting how they’re gonna blow
This is the best parody yet! hahahaha!
Visitor thank you. Very funny! Top Five!
I think o too although I keep saying that.
Oh that was a good one, and visions of blowing must dance in the heads of countless sea ogres.
I like the one with Pat Paroid about “Are you ready?” Let’s face it, the message is that now, for real this time (never mind the 100 times we lied before), Scn.TV will make it so that you don’t need to be embarrassed to be a Scientologist. It has consistently struck me as one of the hardest things Scientologists have to do in order to be able to remain loyal to the group: to find a way to ignore the fact that anyone who goes out and actually tries to convince his friends that Scientology is wonderful and all that “tech” really works is going to be laughed out of town, and will have a whole lot fewer “wog” friends. If Scientology is so wonderful because it gives you super powers that anyone would envy, how come you are too afraid to share them with your friends?
Pat Parodi has had probably 1000 fellow staff and Public Scientologist friends he has had to disconnect from in the last 10 years. Doesn’t he ever stop to think WTF? He very well knows we are not all evil whatever’s. He personally knows that. There are also a bunch of PAC FSMs we don’t hear about – Mitch Televi? Tony Falcaro? Barry Klien? What about them?
Pat simply cannot think for himself anymore after OTVIII. He has trained himself to thought-stop and can’t see he is doing it. It’s a dangerous cult.
Pat Parody was always in a fake, forced enthusiasm. At unguarded moments you could see his true self flicker into being. It was very angry. He only does it for the $ now I’m sure. He has no resume, no real savings and no other way to make a “living”.
Hang down your head Parodi
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head Parodi
Ron’s bridge is one big lie
I met him at the AO
His smile felt like a knife
I got up from the love bomb
And walked out with my life
Hang down your head Parodi
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head Parodi
Ron’s bridge is one big lie
You’re absolutely right, Cece. And same can be said for Drew Johnston. Or maybe they each have kids in the SO or kids on Bridge as well as spouses and don’t want to risk disconnection for themselves. The line the church gave my kids was not that I was a true SP, but was, “She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body, but she has connected up with some pretty bad SP’s and until she leaves that group, she has to be labelled so that…” This is how they get kids to get on board with disconnection. If they had come on strong and said that their mom was a true 2 1/2 percenter, the kids would have balked at disconnection. But by softening it this way it is diabolically cunning. The other piece of BS the church says is “We are actually doing your mom a favor to label her so that others won’t trust her and so that she can see what her true condition is and work up the conditions. It is helping her.” BS.
Quick story on Pat Parodi. At one time he was my FSM. I had a toddler and a newborn baby and took time from work to breastfeed and be a mom. He was mad because it meant no more money flows from me and thus no more commission for him. He and a SO member ganged up on me to “double team” me and it got downright rude and insulting. They belittled and berated me for wanting to breastfeed the new baby and wanting to be a mom to both. The SO member said, “You are not your body! You are not a boob!” And Pat loved that line. HE changed, “You are not a boob!” (meaning literally a breast). I couldn’t believe he did that to me when his own wife, Nancy, was a full time mom with her kids and was not working. It was so hypocritical of him. So I got home, did a slow burn, and wrote HIM a Disconnection letter! I fired him as my FSM and told him why. I got my licks in.
Good for you ☺
I knew Pat mosty because I was a check issuer/signer. That’s why I only saw the nice Pat.
What does FSM stand for?
FSM is Field Staff Member. It is a person who is not working at an org or the SO but who is a public person and they encourage, help, push their people up the Bridge. They get paid a commission for doing this. So when they love bomb you, just realize there is a commission waiting for them when they talk you into putting money on the Bridge and then starting your next service.
I thought it was Field Stat Member.
Good one, Visitor. It’s Field Staff Member cuz they are saying you are like being a staff member, only you’re not on staff, instead you work in the field, outside of an org.
Wow what a pair of dicks, to gang up on a breastfeeding mother like that. Scientology is sure composed of cowardly assholes.
LOL, a decent retort to Pat Parodi when he told breastfeeding ctempster, “You are not a boob!”, would have been, “And you, Pat, are not a dick, so stop acting like one”.
Don’t Scientology TV stats look like the bounces of Davey no, eh, Wil E Coyote after he jumped off a cliff?https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%203-m&geo=US&q=scientology%
The Successful Life Center is referred to as a Mental Health Service on their Facebook page. Wonder if CCHR attacks them.
The Chan man is back? Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! I can’t take it anymore!
“Have it all” is likely a “button” derived from surveys given various and sundry Still Ins, whose responses indicated their strong opinion that being on staff meant they would NOT “have it all” in general, and in particular would they not have a family. You notice they’re promoting that you join staff by showing very happy looking, healthy looking, well dressed, young couples with young children.
And THEN, the ULTIMATE WHOPPER:
Work part time and make $500 – $1000 a week! … “Hot leads!”
You know what would be funny? Let’s all call!
Now, NATURALLY there’s NOTHING about this therapy being Dianetics orScientology in this promo. After all, this is PROMOTION and they can’t NAME the therapy they’re using because its PR POISON!
So, get them to call with the $500-$1000 a week whopper. Oh, brother, “Moxie, they name is Scientology”
But then, what’s a desperate, dying cult to do?
C’mon, lets have fun – who wouldn’t want to pick up minimum of $2000 a month in one’s spare time?
I’m calling now. I’ll question them and when finally they tell me its Scientology I’ll gasp in horror and hang up.
Ciao.
Reminds me of when the ex tried to sell herbalife part-time, she was her biggest customer. We would’ve been better off financially if she wasn’t selling/buying the junk Aqua, it with almost the same cult-like membership with the same “get rich quick” hard sell.
I’m confused. Does the blatant, soulless selling and buying of “statuses” now replace going up the bridge? I guess that’s a hell of a lot easier for the inmates but I’m concerned that there won’t be enough clearing the planet going on. 🙁
Thursday Funnies make me wish I did not ask for my name to be removed from the mailing list!!
The new ideal org in Chicago (purchased in 2008) is a crumbling eye sore
But yeah…..they’re close…..
https://www.dailyrecord (DOT) co (DOT) uk/news/scottish-news/church-scientology-fails-bid-take-9738735
https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/church-scientology-fails-bid-take-9738735
Speaking of trying to get a new building in Edinburgh….
I can’t access the link. Can you repost it? I’m living close to Edinburgh and the people here in Scotland would be a tough sell. They have good bs detectors.
Davy should have been cast in this movie.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298228/
Did they combine East U.S. and West U.S. into U.S. because there aren’t enough whales left unless they merge?
Yes. They have a bunch of tiny, failing orgs left (as opposed to small, failing orgs) that have nobody to hit up for money — Long Island, New Haven, Hawaii, Albuquerque etc etc They are trying a last ditch effort to make these EVERYONE’s problem before they just pay for them from Sea Org reserves.
The main issue they face is that of trying to polish a turd. No matter how shiny it is, no one wants to come near it. Regardless of how hard they try, they just can’t separate the stink from Scientology.
I polished a turd once. When I got done it was real shiny.
Don’t you mean shitty?
No shiny. It actually glowed!
My God they are even using our world cup, and no ta, we wont be swinging in East Grinstead.
I notice that under the “you can have it all” heading, they show lots of family pics, a mom with her kids, family shots etc. Is this to try to counter the Laura De Crezenzo lawsuit about forced abortions? Or maybe to counter the massive publicity of splitting up families? Or to counter the massive books out that talk about kids with parents in the SO being neglected at best and physically harmed and put in danger’s way at most? I’m sure this new campaign to show you can have a family and still be on staff or in the SO is in response to articles Mike, Tony, and Leah have been making public that show otherwise. But the trouble with this campaign of the church’s is that outsiders don’t just believe what they’re told “because the church says it is so.” This whole wholesome happy family scene in the SO will be seen through in a heartbeat on the outside.
Let’s hope the children are not the real staff member in these ads. I wouldn’t put it past the orgs hiring the parent and child especially now with the dwindling numbers. It has happened in orgs that I have been to and have seen it with my own eyes. Some were taken out of school and given an “education” in the course room.
Jane Dough, unfortunately the scenario you experienced with kids being taken out of school to join staff with the parents is all too common. I had a friend who decided to join the SO in the 80’s and she had a 12 year old son. Her daughter was maybe 20 or 21 so this poor little boy’ choices are to leave his mother, his stable datum and go live with a young, inexperienced sister, or to join his mother in the SO as a kid and live the life of a young SO member. It’s a Sophie’s choice for sure. So they went to Int, the worst possible place they could be and eventually the young 12 year old was going to be sent to the RPF. It upset the mom so badly she was throwing up and crying and upset. They both eventually routed out, but not soon enough. They drag these routing out cycles on for years sometimes. She die young, of cancer and I have to think the church taking her son away for the RPF might have triggered it along with no sleep and horrendous working conditions. Later the son admitted he never wanted to join the SO but felt he had no other choice and did it to stay close to his mom. Ha! Once you’re in the mom’s don’t see their kids much at all.
I’m getting a good mock-up of Dave in front of a firing squad.
No ta? Is that code for something?
Lol, it just means no thankyou to the swinger night
Oooooooooo. OK.
“Ta” means “thank you” in the UK.
If I dropped enough acid I too could make up promo pieces like that.
Naw, I doubt it.
Sure you can, Wyn! Just change out the acid for a kegger. Then you can have your friends over.
🙂
long live Mike
You can have it all. What a con job.
You mean I can’t have it all? What’s the use then? Damn! Told my wife that we could have it all.
Wow, when promo like this is approved, smushing EUS and WUS into “US”, even for the Ideal Org achievement game, that is edging towards losing a continent, which sort of makes sense, because Scientology divided US up into EUS and WUS pretentiously long ago.
But it might bode a more normal subdividing the world into the US “first”, LOL. ah makes me think of someone else
But stats wise, I sure wish we still had a long term Management person from the HGB defect, recently, has anyone heard of any Flag Bureaux subunit management person out of the Int Liaison Org defect, I wish someone like Karen Hvass, if Karen’s out, would get talking some recent management nuts and bolts history of the conts, and tell us how fares EUS and WUS really.
Ms. Stein should have her arms crossed and wipe that smile off her face. Taking down psychiatry is serious business for CCHR (Church Condemning Human Rights)
The subtitle in that first CCHR blurb should read “UPDATE – EDUCATE – FLEECE”… (or EXTORT, or CAJOLE, or DEFRAUD…)