Dog Casting Call
Pretty weird. Pat Broeker owned Akitas… I wonder if the Broeker Years is coming to ScientologyTV?
Another front
“Successful Life Center” under the “Clearwater Community Volunteers.”
Give Money to Santa Barbara/Ventura
After 14 years of trying, they can’t scrape it together themselves. So everyone else is being told to “chip in.” Next it will be the “WUS Windup” and it will be Hawaii and Albuquerque and Kansas City and St. Louis…
They got a kid in shorts
And wow, that is BIG news.
Son of scientologists?
Always the place to be on Friday night
Unless there are reruns of The Three Stooges on. Or McDonalds is serving burgers. Or the weather is below 130 degrees.
Columbus
You know many of these people have NOTHING to do with Columbus. They just like their name in lights….
Prosperity
Powered by the Hubbard management system? Isn’t that what all the failings orgs are powered by? Time to find a new system…
WTF?
I thought SCIENTOLOGY was the “largest private relief force on earth”? How come they are not giving an award to a Scientologist?
Oh, there are none in Haiti…
So they are going to pretend they are doing something there by handing out an award in NY to someone who is.
The Better Golf Club?
Get the LRH tech to improve your swing…
No Date Set
This happens EVERY year. They know what month it’s going to be, but they can’t nail down a date until Dave decides when he wants to go… He doesn’t care about booking in advance to save money, he hops on the private jet and it leaves when he says so…
How to be awesome at parenting…
First thing — stay away from scientology. That is advice from someone with personal experience.
Yeah right….
Applies to everyone else EXCEPT scientology.
8 years of futility
An ice-cream social with a bouncy house seems oddly appropriate in celebration of all they have accomplished.
Wonder if ANYONE thinks about what they would have thought when they handed over their cash if they had been told this “ideal org” would result in nothing changing, no new missions opened, no new groups, no new Clears etc etc
Tour famous landmarks
Why would anyone from Plymouth want to tour local landmarks?
Oh, there is nobody in Plymouth — this is exclusively for out of towners?
If this is true…
Then every org needs to do this course. It might solve their problems…
What do you get?
Empty rooms.
Just read the quote they put with this picture. Are they completely brain dead?
Wizards and witches….
I guess you are just supposed to figure out where to go for platform 9 3/4.
Is this an actual guy?
Either it’s CGI or this man has been so photoshopped he just looks like a cartoon.
Intent gazes…
Wooooh. That’s really tough.
But I wonder if it’s even a thing. Wouldn’t that be gazes of intent? Or intentional gazes? Or something?
Prosperity?
On staff????
Truly a classic Thursday Funny.
Calling graphic artists…
Anyone, please help this mess.
Sell more…
The true motto of scientology.
Mission Impossible…
True that.
Re the CCHR golf tournament…. I’ve been to courses designed by Jack Nicklaus but never one by Jack Nicholas. Methinks their proofer needs to watch the golf channel.
Of course all these posters are funny — especially so when Mike supplies the editorial punchline! But I wonder what type of people they attract. I have absolutely no attraction to the “reality” they represent nor do I think most people would, I suppose they are meant to make a statement to the inmates, but I wonder what the theme is? That we belong to a cool, aloof but elite new world?
One thing I find interesting is that until a decade or so ago all the advertising on their websites and posters had lots of tidily dressed people in the photos and especially videos. In the latter they had a non stop stream of vacant looking (youngish) people walking round stiffly, going through doors and crossing paths in couples or small groups with a kind of purposeness like carrying a clipboard or a notebook, that was so obviously staged. They look like bad rent-a-crowd or film extras. Now all the rooms are portrayed empty, clean and shiny. Not an e-meter in sight.
On the rare occasion when I see Hubbardites entering or leaving the local org they are usually older, stooped individuals or couples who don’t look overly happy. Like people going to-from the dentist. But if I were going in to redo a course for the third time or having an appointment with ethics or a reg that’s how I would look. If I see a happy looking group of people going in you can bet — a) that they are passing tourists looking to see if the place is as weird as they’ve heard and b) they will be out rather quickly looking even happier and talking loudly about the goofy things they noticed.
That scientology propaganda with the douchebag holding the gun… just what is this trying to say exactly?
Very disturbing.
What is wrong with you, Miscavige, you silly little monkey?
It says ‘TC won’t take my calls anymore, but there’s plenty more where that came from.”
If you feel the need to establish ARC and handle upsets with a child, and frame it that way in your fucked up mind, then you are a terrible fucking human being.
Oh these ridiculous LRH quotes… does anyone really want to hang their spiritual hat on this drivel?
“A dream is only as great as its culture, and its greats are cultured by dreamists.”
– L. Ron Hubbard
“An artist is only as dreamed as its culture, and its artists are dreamed by culturists.”
– L. Ron Hubbard
“A bullshit artist is only as good as the bullshit the bullshit artist considers…”
Well, you can fill in the rest.
Deedee O’Mally, please get out of scientology fast!
You know being Clear is bullshit, deep down inside.
Another fail for the Manchester poster: mixing and mismatching that dozen or so font faces, a typical novice’s mistake. Overall, it just creeps me out, and I’m a “Harry” fan.
DeeDee O’Malley has been in scientology more than 20 years? Just going clear?
Something wrong with this picture?
At the Humanitarian of the Year even there are plural “cocktails” (although they have no alcohol in them, so none of them really count as cocktails) but only one singular “hors d’oeuvre”: do they have to play Musical Chairs to decide who gets to eat the hors d’oeuvre?
And will Dave come and personally run the musical chairs?
The guy standing under the words, ‘Auditors Wanted,’ really freaks me out. He looks like the walking dead.
You got that completely right OSD.
Well, Hubbard did say he could raise the dead…
I agree OSD and Glenn. He is just creepy, dead eyes and one creepy, well, not a smile, plus the same plastic look too that DM has.
One thing for sure, he could NEVER get an f/n out of ANYONE.
I also agree with OSD, Glenn, and Peggy L. If eyes are windows into the soul this guy needs lots of help.
CoB, just a hint. Before you photograph your staff, give them a couple of weeks with an aditional 1500 calories a day.
How dare you say that about the walking dead, even zombies have standards and will steer clear (no nutritional value) of $camologists.
It’s easy to pick the zombie $camologist; they’re the one’s who shamble around with either their arms folded or clutching sticky goop covered Truth About Drugs leaflets. The only ones to be wary of are the Regge zombies who have the basic leftover urge to lurk under bridges and hide in underpasses and stumble out waving their slowly decomposing hands mumbling, “Cash. Money. Cheques…”
There’s more to the kid in shorts. Canada has been shortened to “ANADA”, possibly because the digital artist thought his black shirt would cover the initial ‘C’. But there was easily enough room for the C to be there… it was just a flub that no one caught, or it they did catch it refused to report for whatever reason. Too bad I can’t post pictures – the photoshopping in this one left obvious traces, including a mystery rectangle that comes into obvious view after lightening the midtone Levels.
That immediately intrigued me as well! Plus it reads CLOanada which sounds awful.
Thank you Mike for putting all this together.
You know what, the auditor that looks photo shopped well, maybe he is just starved from food and sleep; thus he looks not real.
I needed this, complete lighthearted fun at the expense of the infamous. Made my date. Especially the one about Standard Tech in the UK with an empty room. Is that the end result of STANDARD TECH? BWAHAHAHAH!
This group of adverts are particularly low in visual appeal and technical execution. I wonder who got transferred from graphics to kitchen cleanup, and vice versa?
The CCHR golf tournament has been “sponsored” in past years by Danny Masterson, Michael Pena, and Jason Dohring. It seems like they have realized that having Danny Masterson’s name on a charity event may not be the best idea. Nevertheless, “The Better Golf Club” (or “The Better Golf Association,” as it is sometimes known as) is a group of Scientology golfing buddies that includes Masterson, Pena, and Dohring. It will be interesting to see if they will post photos of Masterson participating in the tournament this year when the golfing ends.
Does anyone know why the hell Scientology picked Plymouth? I am very fimilar with the area and in September the town gets ready for Halloween. Davie is always up to something sneaky and with fraudulent motives.
That CCHR golf tournament used to be “sponsored by” Danny Masterson, Michael Pena, and Jason Dohring. I don’t see mention of their names this year. Did they finally realize that associating a charity event with Danny Masterson’s name might not be the best idea? “The Better Golf Club” of “The Better Golf Association” (as it is sometimes listed as) is a group of Scientologists including Masterson, Pena, and Dohring. They just didn’t use their names this year in the advertising.
The O’Malley woman reminds me of a lizard about to swallow a tiny bird.
That Hubbard quote on money motivation is ‘cute’. Never is there a better example of Scientology’s hypocrisy, look at Scientology & you’ll soon see there is nowhere else to go but to follow the money. It is the only motivation of Scientology.
RJ Kule would be well served to take his own selling advice. I checked his book on Amazon and it’s currently ranked: Kindle – 2,747,475; Paperback – 3,892,769; Any book by virtually any former Scio ranks better by a considerable margin (including yours truly). The book has been out since 2015, yet has only 6 reviews. Not only is nobody buying it, they’re not reading it. To add insult to injury, if that’s even possible, his book website Alexa ranking is 16,367,590, indicating virtually no traffic–and a number that’s comparable to your average ideal org.
The “humanitarians” just want their names in lights? Or did they just get to the point that they were willing to pay $100 K to get the reg’s to leave them alone.
Money as a motivation – yes that applies to everyone except Scn. Everything else Hubbard wrote applies to everyone except Scientology, too.
Ice cream social – I guess that’s been recently found to be a successful action. Hold on to our credit cards! Oh, never mind – they’ll just open up some new ones for you.
Non-extraordinary, non-famous, non-rich people, desperate for some kind of recognition, desperate to feel needed, wanted, loved, admired, important, giving up to the cult serious money they cannot afford. Its SUCH an old con, preying on this weakness, this fatal human vulnerability, for financial gain. Sadly, it works.
Oh my – Open Mic Night at Flag? Fantastic! Can I get the A/V guy to play the video in the background? I’ll just fake sing along in sync. But what to wear? I was totally defrocked when declared. God I’d love to actually do this. There’s no such thing as SP’s, Scientology, but another “Troublemakers”, why yes, yes there are. 😀
https://youtu.be/DsqAGxhrFnQ
The red chairs and matching emeters are so pretty. People would only mess the room up.
On the Andromeda edison poster the designer—and I use that word lightly— needs to be restricted from using drop shadow. Overdone and old fashioned.
The guy in the Auditors wanted poster has had his upper face photoshopped to cartoonish levels. Could have done some work on his hands.
Most people would say “intense stare” .
Too many other issues. What a haul!
intense stare, creepy stare; same, same.
Yes. I was pointing out that Mike was right about intent stare not being a thing.
Tour our famous Plymouth landmarks.
Let me guess; You’re going to tell people that LRH was Priscilla Alden in a past life when you take them out to Plymouth Rock!
Oh, wait. This is Plymouth, England, not Plymouth, Massachusetts.
My bad.
What’s that place the Oct anniversary event is being help?
Maybe they are going to take responsibility for finding Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson. Perhaps the barking Akita there was an OT? Odd choice in dog casting.
Some missions are not a choice. Wow. Just wow. Like anything in scientology is ever a choice.
Shorts Boy:
They need to do some fundraising to replace the missing “C” in “Canada” on the sign.
—
Better Golf:
Uh… Jack spells his last name “Nicklaus” and he might not be too pleased by having his name used to promote these kinds of events.
—
Parenting:
“We audit kids!”
Somebody call Child Protective Services ASAP.
—
Motivation Scale:
So, a scientologist’s weakest motivation is “Money,” and his highest motivation is “Duty,” but his “Duty” is to “Donate Money”? I think I got it.
—
What Do You Get?
Snazzy E-meters the same color as the upholstery!
—
Intent Gazes:
a.k.a. Scientology Shark-Eyes
—
“Help [me!] [They told me I’d get] Purpose and Prosperity!!!”
—
Mission Impossible:
GET OUT.
(He might have a chance with that handgun.)
“Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains, although I do not know who assumed that it could. But it can put mountains where there are none.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I’m not sure whether I’ve ever posted here before.
But seriously, they are looking for a male or female Akita dog between the ages of 18 and 60? That would be in dog years, I presume?
I’ve been seeing these Sydney Org photos. It’s so, so bizarre that so many are taken at night, in the middle of winter, and often (but not always) they are nowhere near the actual Org but in somewhat random, bizarre locations. I’m pretty certain that a previously posted one was taken at Bondi Beach. In these two photos, one is across the street from the Org and the other is at Tumbalong Park, Darling Harbour, looking south towards the new Sofitel, on the path next to the public toilets. It’s obviously not designed for anyone local – is it for the Taiwan or Hong Kong market?
You did comment once before!
https://www.mikerindersblog.org/thursday-funnies-164/#comment-215217
The dog casting call says it’s looking for ages 18-60. Is that in dog years?
No it is definitely not an actual guy. The idiot who photo shopped or CGIed that pic didn’t match the facial skin color to that of the hands.
$335 for the film shoot/Akita? What a skewed sense of stewardship of someone’s hard earned cash…I remember being squeezed for my last $20 and having no groceries…you know, to “start the flow”…
‘ Mission Impossible’ – Seems strange to me that TC is not featured on this poster – i.e., when has $ ever shied away from ripping off trademark material? And, in This case, wouldn’t it be a ‘given’ that they would have ‘the Biggest Being on the Planet’s approval to use his likeness? Explanation / theory ? . . . . Someone? . . . . Anyone?
I don’t know but that Sea Org Recruitment News Flash just cracked me up. The kid in short pants sort of resembles that mean guy from Storage Wars.
The Wizards and Witches seems a strangely appropriate cult gathering. (ding dong the warlock is dead?) I think that auditor guy looks like he could be the poster boy – those crazy eyes. Yikes. Well, that kid in the Intent gazes would qualify too.
This Thursday Funnies is a look into bizarro world. The ones about children are the ones that really make me sick though.
At my Target today (which is across the street from the Atlanta COS), I saw a couple and one wearing a t shirt that read “ Atlanta – going Saint Hill size. I’m assuming it’s actually not.
And your assumption is quite correct, RSE.
That quote about “the weakest motivation is money” is really precious – is someone’s Freudian slip showing, or are they consciously slipping in a challenge to Miscavige’s rule of rapacity? (not that Hubbard didn’t set the stage, by getting greedy himself)
And I wonder if the “ideal” org “anniversary” celebrations are being used as a way to try to get money out of the members to keep the massive empty facilities open, and pay basic bills like utilities? I’ve seen reports that even some of the orgs and missions in their longstanding more modest quarters have had to resort to relying on regular donations from locals to be able to meet operating expenses – and that a few have gotten into such jams that international management may have had to resort to giving them “loans” just so that they could keep their doors open.
That quote about “the weakest motivation is money” is really precious – is someone’s Freudian slip showing, or are they consciously slipping in a challenge to Miscavige’s rule of rapacity?
I think it’s there for the same reason Hubbard said it — your motivation should be duty to the church, not having enough money to pay your bills or enjoy your life. It’s classic in Christian history, too: tell the poor that they shouldn’t care about their experience in this life so that they remain willing to let the ruthless have all the wealth. Pretty strong in Eastern religions, too. It’s why Hubbard knew that the way to make money was to start a religion.
The thing that got me today was not setting a date for the stupid anniversary event, because it’s so clear that DM does not at all care what kind of havoc he’s going to wreak in the lives of others he expects to attend or to get other people to attend. Putting aside whether he cares about saving money on flights, what about other people’s ability to afford flights booked at the last minute? What about their plans, schedules, and commitments? I think he enjoys hurting anyone “under” him in the hierarchy. I think he’s actually sadistic.
“I think he’s actually sadistic.”
Yup! And like all bullies, he is a coward too. Why does he not challenge Leah and Mike to appear on their show to tell his side of the story? I am sure they would give him the chance.
C’mon Miscavige, ask to confront these SPs on their own turf! It should be a simple task for a supreme being such as yourself. Or are you really the frightened little douchebag you have painted yourself to be since 1992?
I agree Cat! Completely sadistic. Just like with Shelley. Punishment for lesser beings.
Scientology’s Glossy promo! It is all propaganda intended to dupe the audience.
Scientology – the science of deception and manipulation to obtain all money from all members who are unfortunate to enter its trap while it hides its crimes behind the religious cloak.
Time to have that tax exempt status yanked!
It is not a Church that helps people – It is a Church that destroys people.
IT IS NOT A “CHURCH” – PERIOD!
IT WAS NEVER A CHURCH!!! It’s ALWAYS been a scam!
It’s not a church, a mosque, a pagoda, a stupa, or a temple. If anything, asylum.
I don’t see any events about the tech, or delivery, or products. They are all bbq’s and ice cream, and movies and making more money. Hmmmmmm??
Dee Dee O’Mally co-authors all of Joy Villa crappy music.. Yuck,
And she finally went clear after 30 years. 30 years!
I first encountered Dee Dee O’Mally in 1984 or 85. It was during “The Battle of Portland” where all good Scns dropped their jobs and responsibilities and flew or drove to Portland to protest the Julie Christopherson case against Scn. At PAC Base in LA, rallies were held and singers and performers were interspersed with speakers. Dee Dee was so hungry for the spotlight that she volunteered to be in all the shots she could and once on stage, she wouldn’t leave. She was an aspiring singer who wanted to get her face and voice plastered everywhere to jumpstart her “career” in it. In one instance on stage, she had to be physically dragged off stage by the next speaker. You could see the C of $ speakers just frowning because she hogged the spotlight. I never heard of her recording a record or doing anything with her voice. Yet she is now the voice coach of Joy Villa. Proves the adage: those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.
Also she is Clear after being in Scn for over 35 years! That is so long that maybe she went Clear before and was later told Not Clear and had to re do it all. That seems to be a theme in Scn.
Just wondering if any of their “yellow tee shirt team” (I refuse to call them volunteers) are headed out to Hawaii to “help”? Are they going to bring supplies donated by OTHERS since they donate nothing themselves?
They’re not volunteers, Balletlady! They are there to take pictures & leave.
The greatest thing about Thursday Funnies is that they remind me of how happy I am to be out. What a load of nonsense, deceit and lies.
Out-ness is the greatest! Have a wonderful day Mary.
☺️? Thank you
Potness is good to…
I was thinking the same thing!
So true. It’s a common among those who survive near death experiences!
When I ran Tours for US, Mexico, Canada – it was insane chaos. I had to get cheapest airfares from a thick manual that came out every two weeks. No net, no nothing. So last minute everything made it near impossible and hell, That’s the Sea Org way by golly!
You’ve got that right!
The only truth about the Manchester poster is the statement “something wicked on the way”.
Wonder if J.K. Rowling knows Co$ is using Harry Potter images to lure (presumably) children.
And they lifted the quote from Shakespeare and didn’t give him credit for it.
The kid probably didn’t know from shakespeare. Like the student in my wife’s intro to literature class, complaining that Shakespeare used too many clichés ; – )
>> Shakespeare used too many clichés
HA. Hopefully that student will learn enough by the end of the class to experience belated embarrassment.
Now that’s funny, Jere. Thank you for the laugh!