Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate it today. We all have much to be thankful for. Including the fact that we don’t have to treat anything we read here seriously. Remember most of those still inside the bubble today with compassion and understanding. Many of us have been in their shoes – pretending to be happy and thankful for the only thing that is truly important in this universe (LRH and the tech). Yikes.
Hey why not move back there then?
If LRH says this is where the next great civilization will spring from there, how come you’re not there? You are giving money — but don’t want to be part of it?
The Five Star Chefs…
This is seriously what they are promoting about the “upcoming AO and CLO”?
You can become a titanically powerful OT
Or something like that…
Help us take your money
That is the REAL message of scientology
Paw Patrol
Wonder if they know scientology is using their image?
Delphi is promoting
They must be running out of scientology kids…
Climbing the mountain of debt
Bet the few public that remain in Denver have serious fundraising fatigue. And now they are supposed to give more for St. Louis (not even Albuquerque or Kansas City which are both closer). They cannot even fill their parking lot for baseball games these days…
Sing along at graduation
We don’t really have any graduates that anyone wants to hear from so we will turn it into a mini-concert in the hopes someone will show up to be regged.
Join us at your own peril
The regges will be there.
They will be on the hunt
…for your treasure. And a film crew from the SuMP will be there to document it all for the amazing New Years celebration.
Wear it proudly
Everyone needs to know you have OT powers. Sort of like a superhero outfit.
Lighting the Future?
Seems pretty limp. What happened to Epic. Monumental. Watershed. Defying time and space.
It was a big sunburn more than 60 years ago
I dealt with that and now its easier to organize my home.
We’re at the reverse point of the universe
On the back porch to infinity guaranteeing your future of eternity…
Or something like that.
Reuvein Marcus is b-a-a-a-c-k
A blast from the past. One of the original crim regges from the FSO. He paved the way for many stellar names who followed in his muddy footsteps. Then went on to an illustrious career doing WISE businesses.
I can answer this in one word
Nothing
A new scientology scam?
Laundry balls. Endless MLMs.
If it sounds too good to be true, it IS.
But the pitch is always the same “YOUR progress on the Bridge.”
The ONLY International Advanced Org
Wonder what Flag thinks about this? Or AOSHEU? Or AOLA? Or AO ANZO?
It was a dark and stormy night…
These gloomy shots are causing people to want to join staff?
A final thought
Reverse-point of the universe? WTF is THAT, anyway?
Also, ??LRH said the next, great [whatever] would be from SOUTHERN Africa? I bet that was BEFORE he was so rudely ejected from Rhodesia, after which, he seemed to lose interest in the area and went to sea. Didn’t he compose the “Joburg” super-sec check about that time, expecting super-duper SPs to come from South Africa?
Okay, is it me or is that a harpoon the guy is holding in the “old time radio story” poster? So, does that mean that his dad”s rival is Moby Dick or a leviathan? Just seems like a strange weapon for that. Oh what am I saying? The WHOLE thing is weird…”a humorous story of outright murder about killing someone to earn your daddy’s love and respect?” Let me guess, one of LRH”s lesser known works?
It is an old-fashioned version of a logging tool called a “cant hook,” a “cant dog,” or a “peavey,” the latter being the name of a certain Joseph Peavey, a Maine blacksmith who essentially perfected the design in the mid-19th century and made a fortune manufacturing his device. It is a multi-purpose hand tool that loggers use to roll logs, turn them over, break up jams, etc., etc., using the angled iron hook, or a spike on the end.
It’s a lumber gaff. Used by loggers.
Guys, if I *eleminate* the radiation from a sunburn I had 30 years ago, can I get my mile time under 4 minutes? Organizing my house seems kind of mundane in terms of SupahPowerzzz and all, you know?
That gold OT pendant probably costs more than the most expensive bauble at Kay Jewellers.
55000 scientologists?
Maybe on their mailing list, but the undisturbed crickets in all those empty parking lots of scientology know otherwise.
A “humorous adventure story” about being sent to kill your father’s rival. Yup, Pure LRH.
i had the same thought…yikes what evil & hate from this Leader of this cult
Murder for hire – the comedy.
Or
Earn your father’s love by killing a business associate – Essential Parenting Skills
Exactly the themes I would choose to promote in a quasi-religious, family friendly, context.
Coming from hubbard it’s ironically appropriate. Lol ?
Happy thanksgiving to my brother who is still deeply invested in $cientology in Clearwater. I hope someday we can reconnect.
Me too.
I hope so too Reade.
Another loss this week… where’s Chan the Man? He must feel a bit like Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles, “writing the words of a sermon which no one will hear…”
Oh! Father McKenzie never actually existed, per rumor his name was found by Paul McCartney thumbing through a phone book. But don’t tell anyone OK?
We at Scientology Central manufacture all of life’s truths.
For those of you on the INSIDE looking out….fear not, take that giant leap forward & BLOW…many formers now living a great life on the outside will help you in any way they can. Freedom is a good thing, you can think for yourself, live for yourself & family, hug you loved ones without fear of repercussions/punishment.
To those brave folks that took that grade leap of faith to BLOW…..the freedom you embrace can’t be matched anywhere….. Sitting around enjoying Turkey or whatever your choice is for dinner, ability to sit with family & friends…..nothing better than that. Someday, someway those loved ones WILL return to your loving arms…maybe next year.
From the Old Time Radio Theatre Performance flyer: “[Christopher] has to find and kill John Newcome… A humorous adventure story.” Nothing funnier than murder, right?!
Little did my homey Juan and I know that the universe had reached a ” reverse point”. There we were, riding along in our tricked-out hoopty with the ill hydraulics, bouncing
and popping wheelies, when…El Con Flubbard, in all of his flaccid, oatmeal glory, sailed past us, going in the opposite direction, trailing Venutian freight trains and Marcabian Attack Cruisers and 6th Invader Force modified DC 8’s behind him…” Shall we employ reverse vector manuevers, hermano? ” I enquired. Juan replied, ” Nah, let’s just do a little side-slip to escape that rancid Flubbard ass smell. ” ” Roger that “, I replied. And after that simple bit of navigation…all is well now in this sector of the universe, especially with the continuing contraction of the scien-tool-ology cult…
The lady who endured 33 days of niacin and sauna-ing really got to me. Did she believe she was feeling the effects of radiation leaving her body, after holding it in since a 60-years-past sunburn? Is she really certain that the LRH-advised niacin OD and sauna heat rundown cured her eyes supposedly damaged fifty years ago from a welding flash? Does she feel lighter because she found a sauna suit big enough to fit her?
After reading her statement about lengthy saunas curing fifty and sixty year old sunburns and flash burns, how could anyone not believe this is brainwashing of the first order? Call it brainwashing, gaslighting, or just plain making up stories to satisfy the CS, it looks like plain old lies to me. But what do I know, I never even read Dianetics.
Yeah she’s a senior citizen and spent that much time doing the Purif? How long is it supposed to be anyway? She’s lucky she didn’t die!
It’s simply a flush from the niacin. And a vivid imagination.
Also; people say anything to get out of continuing that stupid Purif crap
Yes, I used to take a lot of liquid B vitamins and my first niacin flush blew my mind. Lol. I’m sure Hubbard knew that people would think that it was more than it is. Lol
What do Sea Org crew and vampires have in common? They do most of their work at night.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone and the blessings of having never touched the LRH madness (which is about 99.9999% of the planet) or was finally released from it’s prison to truly enjoy this wonderful life with only one go-around allotted.
Excuse me. I’m a never in so maybe someone can explain something to me. The L.R.H. story (River Driver) for the radio theatre? It’s about a father who wants his n’er do well son to COMMIT MURDER. And it’s a ‘humorous adventure’? Huh? So, Scientologists consider murder as ‘a humorous adventure’. OOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKK.
Well, their boss did say concerning his own father, “if he dies, he dies.” What’s more Scienological than that?
Is murder considered a humorous adventure?? Well… only wogs can die, OTs are way beyond that quaint wog dramatization.
Scientologist: Mr. Miscavige is getting on in years. I’m concerned about him dropping the body.
Me: Hey, if he dies, he dies.
Me: Autopsy terminals standing by…
Happy Thanksgiving to all here. I am so thankful that we are free to experience love, affection, and the free expression thereof.
Happy Thanksgiving to Mike and all the contributors on this blog. I’ve learned so much reading here over the past several months. I wish you all peace and, most of all, reunification with your loved ones.
“A humorous adventure story” about having to commit murder to keep your father from disowning you?? Sounds like a laugh riot….
Happy Thanksgiving Mike & Christie & those handsome young men. I have followed Thursday Funnies for some years now, and love the gift of laughter with more and more ridiculous lies, which are very sobering but laughter is healing for me. I love The Bigger Picture for The Free Being. But first a potluck dinner to get one used to the fact that by the time one reaches OT Levels eventually, one will not be able to afford even that! Love to All.?
Wow. Cuckoo for Coco Puffs. 😀
Hubbard brings to mind another cuckoo – the second Head Honcho of watchtower, Judge J. F. Rutherford. Here was a piece of work. A bully, an alcoholic, an all-round professional butthole, and God only knows what else. Usually residing in a 10-bedroom mansion in San Diego called Beth Sarim (“House of the Princes”), built in anticipation of welcoming back resurrected Old Testament prophets like Abraham, Moses, David, etc. Funny how those dudes never showed up. Nothing like having a 10-bedroom mansion all to yourself! 😀 The ol’ judge did his best to mold watchtower in his own image, and succeeded, down to this day. Obviously misogynistic, in a 1941 convention in Missouri, he used Rudyard Kipling’s quote to describe women as “a rag and a bone and a hank of hair”. Though he insisted that the door-to-door “ministry” was integral to being a JW, he rarely participated.
He died in 1942. It almost seems like, in some Cosmic way, Elron picked up where ol’ J. F. left off. Or maybe the Judge came back as Hubbard to continue bearing the Great Torch of Evil. 😀
As an avid cultophile, I’ve gotta read up on this bozo. Any reading recommendations, Sardaukar?
Those folks are amusing, aren’t they? I don’t know that there’s a whole lot written about him. The JDubs have expended a great deal of energy concealing stories of his indulgence in the “sauce”. The Wikipedia article goes into quite a bit of detail about his life. Also, I believe JWsurvey has had a couple of articles about him. It may take a little digging on their site. Though I did watch a YouTube video by John Cedars (Lloyd Evans) called 10 Awkward Facts About Rutherford, which I recommend.
Enjoy!
Thanks; I’m on it.
And hey, if you want even more laughs, check out stuff on JWsurvey and YouTube on the “Governing Body”, including Anthony Morris III, Stephen Lett, and Geoffrey Jackson. You’ve probably seen and heard a lot of crazy shit in scientology, but this stuff is downright entertaining! Anthony Morris III, or ToMo as we ‘affectionately’ call him, claims to have been a Medic in Vietnam (possibly true, but who knows? – no one I’ve heard of has seen any service record / discharge papers, etc). He’s also earned the nickname “Tight Pants Tony” because a coupla years ago he went on an international tirade condemning the wearing of tight pants by JW men because he thought they were super-gay. Then there’s Stephen Lett. Check him out on JW Broadcasting (a monthly propaganda video put out by watchtower – they upload the episodes to YouTube, unfortunately). Though all the GB are very condescending, this guy addresses his JW viewers as though they are total imbeciles. And then there’s his eyebrows. They move so dramatically up and down, sometimes independently of each other, it is suspected that they are the first actual manifestations of Artificial Intelligence. Then, well, you gotta see this one to believe it, so here’s the link…
https://youtu.be/Qirjv48C55M
Broad Public Issue
To: All squirrels
From: Enlightened Ex-Scientologists, Inc.
On behalf of myself and all my constituents, I apologize for L. Ron Hubbard’s portrayal of you as some kind of low level creatures. He was under the spell of his own self-induced paranoia and SDS (small dick syndrome), being stuck in the mixed up identities of both Genghis Khan and Gautama Siddhartha.
Be happy with yourselves and may this Thanksgiving increase your supply of edible nuts!
Thank you ! It is about time someone spoke up for this adorable & crlever creatures…Who love to “share” the birdseed with the birdies
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
I am grateful for Leah Remini and Mike Rinder and all of the good exposure they are doing on Scientology.
Thank you A&E – for giving Leah and Mike an excellent platform and support.
I am also grateful for all of you – that we made it out of the cult together and survived to tell the truth.
It’s all about KSS baby!
Keep Suppressing Scientology.
Keeping Scientology Wanking.
“It is great that you are OT VII, when did you do this?”
The very organisation which administered this level and which likes to keep records on everyone and everything doesn’t know?
Happy Thanksgiving to all here! And to you OSA guys and gals, in the spirit of Thursday funnies, while you work to get those stats up I give you this immortal line from The Joker: “Why so serious?”
Well, 55,000 is rather generous. But the point is made.
Thanksgiving to you Mike.
If you were to compare today’s Funnies to those of one to two years ago, you would see how half-hearted, unenthusiastic, shop worn and just plain desperate their appeals have become of late. And, that’s not to mention how downright uninspired, unprofessional, amateurish and sloppy the presentations are. Oh, my goodness . . . is their Angst showing? Tic Toc, tic toc . . . . .
Thursday is a very serious day for Scientologists but their antics just get funnier as time goes by which reminds of the song:
You must remember this
A shit is just a shit
A lie is still a lie
The fundamental things apply
As crimes go by
And when the midget drools
He still says, I hate you
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As crimes go by
Lower conditions never out of date
RPF assignments, jealousy and hate
Davy wants slaves, and Dave must have his way
No one would dare deny
It’s still the same old story
A fight for cash and glory
A case of do or die
The world will never welcome Davy
As crimes go by
Scribe, another one for the coffee table book 🙂
Before they open the place, I hope they make up their minds. Is it Castle Kyalami or Kyalami Castle??
Scientology continues to use free food in its promotion in an effort to get attendance and now its “5 Star Chefs”. It brings back memories of the Scientology lawyer that brought baked rolls from the Int base, to an interview with Anderson Cooper, as a way of conveying it was a paradise and not a prison camp. It was the same female lawyer that couldn’t keep her eyes from rolling back up into her head in her last attempt toat being a Scientology front man. How long before Miscavige realizes it is food that drives the BIS (Bodies In The Shop) stat and orders a bakery be put in every Ideal Org?
Free food now days are cheese, crackers, carrot, celery with ranch dip. Far from fancy. When I inquired the last event what happened with real refreshments they used to grant, I was told that it is a budget issue.
Of course. There will be no cut in the Tiny Tyrant’s Macallan Special Reserve consumption, and he won’t be giving up his personal chef, his vehicles, or his expensive lawyer, Blinky ” Int Base Is A Religious Retreat ” McMuffin.
The beatings, however, will continue until morale improves!
Blinky is donating a small percentage of her legal fees as a token of appreciation to COB for all of the business sent her way. A private ceremony with other prominent Scientology attorneys will be held at a fancy hotel in downtown Los Angeles as they upgrade her status to Patron Prevaricatorious.
A budget issue in scientology. That’s rich. I avoid ranch dip like the plague at this time of year.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here! I’m so glad we all can celebrate – with friends if not with absent family – instead of bulling through yet another Thursday At 2. Huge thanks to Mike and Leah for the difference they have made and continue to make!
I don’t know what Denver is going to be able to do for the St. Louis org, which was recently revealed as small and failing ( https://www.mikerindersblog.org/st-louis-follow-up/ ), and having created real misery and ruin in its long-languishing attempt to go “ideal.”
And from what I hear, Québec is another SFO (small and failing org) headed more for “non existence” that any sort of “power.” Their sparsely maintained social media, just on Facebook and not even Twitter, has gone from being updated with a pro forma quote from once a week to once a month – and shows no pictures of events, or any actual human beings who are members or staff.
That 55,000 “fact” is more in the ballpark than “millions,” though it is about a two decade old number from ARIS that was downgraded to 25,000 about 10 years ago, and is almost certainly about half that now.
Thank you and have a titanically joyful, happy Thanksgiving day!
Enjoy it with family and friends.
Shhhhh, don’t tell “Uber Facts” but it’s more like an estimated ‘15,000-20,000’ practicing Scientologists left….some of whom are ‘under the radar’
Happy Thanksgiving to Mike and everyone here! I hope you all a beautiful and happy day.
HOT “OF” THE PRESS! Come on Joanne. Proof it please.
Joanne needs to go to grad school and get a master o farts degree in English. (My Dad, R.I.P. was a newspaper editor, and this typo was a source of many chuckles in the newsroom).
So how many scientologists are in the U.S.? The world? I thought I had read approximately 20,000 in U.S. and 30,000 worldwide. Is that wrong?
https://tonyortega.org/2016/02/13/scientologys-space-man-as-of-2013-active-scientologists-fewer-than-20000-worldwide/
https://medium.com/how-many-scientologists-are-there-really/counting-scientology-7-best-estimates-7746dc6d59aa
55,000 was an approximately 20 year old number from the American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS). The number that they came up with that was included in an appendix to the 2007 US Census was 25,000. The consensus, and the evidence, seems to be that their numbers are now down to probably less than half that in the US, and maybe around 20,000 worldwide. The UK census, which is very detailed, indicates about 1,200 in that country recently, also about half of what it had been a decade or two ago. The Australian census also tracks adherents, and showed numbers there down to about 1,700 a couple of years ago. From what I can tell, there are very few people outside of the CofS itself who identify as Scientologists, as the independent movement has also shrunk.
I could write a top ten reasons I’m thankful to be out of the church of scientology but probably my top reason is that I don’t have to fear my own thoughts and can make choices freely.
Yes, there is much to be thankful for. I am very thankful for my wonderful friends. They are such a blessing to me in my life. Coupled with the family I love so much, they make my world a beautiful place.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving Mary! I’m so happy that you are out and enjoying your life. Sending much love your way.
Thank you Ann.
✨?✨
Mary, you are a blessing in the lives of all who know you.
Mike, I can’t say enough good words regarding you and all you are doing for so many people. I was particularly moved by your comments during the last show when both you and Leah, along with your families, abundantly showed the pain you’ve all been subjected to, and the joy of the freedom you’ve attained in spite of the pain. I salute you all.
Peter