Starting to load up on the Christmas pitches.
It’s so odd that scientology jumps on the Christmas bandwagon when they do not believe in Jesus Christ. Well, not really. Anything to get “bodies in the shop” for the Regges.
Upcoming Ideal Org?
One of their tech staff completed the Student Hat at Flag.
Yippee… they will be clearing KC in a matter of mere decades now.
Well, if there was anyone who was ever at cause…
It would be the D/In Charge of telling people “Thank you, keep running” at Flag. It’s a tough job watching people run around in circles all day.
Flourishing and Prospering at “warp speed”
Hate to see what “steady” or “stagnant” growth would look like.
Luke and Rose Marie
The two biggest names at “CC” LV…
Wonder if she could do anything for the org?
They’re dead in the water. They need to take control.
The Whales have landed
Ideal Org Atlases?
Platinum Maximus.
Platinum Laureate.
Dumbass Extremises. These so smart businessmen don’t know their money is not being used for ANYTHING other than real estate investments? Oh, that’s right, they are so blinded by brilliance of their statues they cannot see.
Brainstorming Braai?
Braai – South African for BBQ.
Brainstorming – universal for “we don’t have a clue, let’s see if we can figure something out”
Surfing event?
This Durban stuff just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere…
i don’t think they are actually going surfing. Just thinking about it. Just like they’re thinking about that ideal org.
Brunch and Consultation
Sort of like BBQ and brainstorming?
Denmark Ideal Org is rocking
They don’t even have success stories to promote? Not even a student hat retread? Just a couple of people who are “on” the SRD. 
You would not want to have an unsecured eternity
What a terrible thought.
Especially when the good old IRS can help you with your eternity security.
Yeah, I’m sure these guys have all the answers
Obviously everything is just rolling along great because they have been applying LRH tech to the situation.
The prestigious Hall of Fame
For extension course students?
Seriously?
Big news on HAPI’s building
With best Christmas jumper and crackers.
Unfortunately, there is no news on the building. But there will be an update from Father Christmas on how many cookies he plans to eat on Christmas Eve.
The Howson Group
This a scientology field practice. What are they doing holding their Christmas party at the non-religious WTH Fdn?
Must be a source of income for WTH Fdn to rent out their offices? In which case anyone is welcome. I bet the “Never brush your teeth society” could hold their annual party there as long as their check cleared.
Well, that’s what you say…
You just forgot the bit about the money.
The new “SO #1” line.
Letters to Santa. And you can get a “good roads, good weather” letter back from one of Santa’s Elves, just like those letters that were sent to Ron.
Yikes!
Do you have to secure your eternity with the IRS first?
These PR conventions are the BEST
Just look at the amazing PR they have gotten in Colombia and Venezuela!
Just don’t bring any children of SP’s
They will be summarily evicted from the premises in keeping with the true holiday spirit of scientology.
More Holiday cheer…
And regging of course. Goes without saying.
I can see the newest marketing campaign now……..
“Dianetics the Modern Science of Mental Health – WITH BISCUITS !”
“The Bridge to Total Freedom – WITH BISCUITS !”
“Clearing the Planet – WITH BISCUITS!”
The photo of an empty grill with burning and charred grease seems appropriate for an Ideal Durban braii.
No time to comment.
Am trying to finish my extension course’s last item”demo moronic” so I will be admitted in the extension course hall of fame.
Come on Mike, be fair. Their donations are not only being used for real estate. They are also being used to hire private investigators to follow and harass anyone who tells the truth!
As far as “Real Estate” goes….wouldn’t it be truly awesome if nearly everyone on Mike & Tony’s blogs who are a former in……would be able to buy a house or condo in Clearwater & run the little bastard OUT of his “own town”….Clearwater?
Can you imagine the look on the little shit’s face when 90 to 100% of his former “ins”…including high ranking staff members ALL show up meandering around in Clearwater, passing by his “still ins” OR simply there to have lunch and visit with one another?
Now THAT would be justice served up on a platter, to see his former “ins” dressed normally, able to move about freely without a “monitor”…..of course, one would expect to be videoed….questioned, but, hey, you should be use to that by now. Just SMILE & say “Hi Davey”
As an outsider, junk like the letter from the CCHR woman just makes me wonder what the clams are being told and how frequently.
She mentions electroshock twice as if it were some kind of nationwide epidemic. You know like people are being rounded up from the Mall food court and being taken in to be electroshocked. Or you go to the emergency room for a broken arm and the Dr. says “A cast and some electroshock and you’ll be ready to go home.”
I get that just as Hitler scapegoated the Jews – $ci.. scapegoats the Psychiatrists. And obviously the clams have been indoctrinated so that the mere word “electroshock” elicits a $ci.. desired response. So I’m guessing that electroshock must be the most heinous tool in the pretend enemies toolbox.
I hadn’t read of the KRC Triangle before — Knowledge-Responsibility-Control and will now have to cogitate about that one as well as the familiar ARC Triangle!
Christmas has come early, all right.
Just got a chance to watch the latest episode of Aftermath and let me say that I think in many respects it was one of your more important episodes.
Using tax free money aside (and that is bad enough) the harassment by the CoS and determination to ruin peoples’ lives in this way is completely outrageous.
Honestly (and I hope I am saying this “gently” enough because I am essentially a non violent person) I am surprised that these PIs have never been met with some well deserved force (planned, when they can be cornered and their cameras taken away). Maybe if some of them landed in the hospital for a while, the job would not be so appealing to them. I might suggest following THEM while they are busy following someone, and then when they leave for their cars for any time, damaging their vehicles as the least payback.
From what I can see, the only people at the Portland Org, is the 16 auditors, and 2 class VI Senior case supervisors. They can’t even get the homeless people to come in and warm up. LOL.
“Scrummy 3 course dinner with crackers.”
Ok I looked up “scrummy” and its an amalgamation of “scrumptious” and “yummy”.
That’s fine.
But “…with crackers?”
Why mention that?
Are crackers some sort of big deal in Scotland?
Like,we’re supposed to read this and say,”Ooooh, CRACKERS, they’ll be serving crackers, wow,can’t miss THIS dinner.”
HAPI’s event promo is always a hoot.
But then there’s Fearless…hey, Fearless, how are you honey? Long time no see you hopping around in that kilt, waving that sword! Hope you finally blew the cult and are now back to doing something useful like catching all those amazing fish in the Highlands.
(I have a soft spot for Fearless.)
As much as I hate to defend anything Scientology, in England (and probably Scotland) crackers are not necessarily something to eat. They may be referring to Christmas ‘crackers’ that you pull apart (when they “crack”) and a small prize falls out.
Now THAT makes sense. Thank you MKM! My Crashing MU is now handled and I am no longer experiencing a vast panorama of mental effect! Or. at least,no more so than when I don’t have an MU.
In the UK what we call a cracker is a biscuit instead, I believe.
A cracker in the UK is a hollow tube covered with colored paper, that makes a loud popping sound when the two ends are pulled apart, revealing contents that could include a paper hat and a small toy. They are a feature of Christmas parties when everyone at the table pulls open their cracker at the same time.
Got it, Snake. This detailed explanation is much appreciated – Anglophile that I am. Thanks for the M-7 🙂
I think, Aqua, that by ‘crackers’ they’re referring to a british christmas novelty which is a wrapped tube with a prize inside. Two people pull on either end of the wrapping like a wishbone to reveal the prize.
I’m not sure if I’m explaining it correctly. Maybe Mike, since he’s Australian, might know more about this.
Can you help us out here, Mike?
Yep, that is exactly what they are.
And jumpers are sweaters.
I desperately need to know what the heck “heavy” hors d’oeuvres are. Does one need to do some weight training before snacking on them?
Thanks to you too, Alcoboy. It never even occurred to me to Google this because it never occurred to me that a cracker was anything other than unleavened bread or a pejorative for an economically challenged European American 🙂
And Mike, thanks to you also but honest forces me to smugly admit that I already knew that in the UK jumpers are sweaters thanks to “Bridget Jones’ Diary” 🙂
Well, Aqua, it’s good to know that we can always rely on Mike Rinder and his cache of British/Australian lore.
Makes me want to break into a rendition of ‘Rule Brittania’ but I will do my best to restrain myself. I will sing the introductory bars to a song Mike is probably familiar with:
“In come the dollars, in come the cents.
Out go the pounds, the shillings and the pence…..”
(From Australian public service spot announcing the new Australian decimal currency).
“Christmas Crackers”–decorative little things that pop or crack when you pull them open and then prizes and jokes and a paper crown come tumbling out. And yes, they are a very big deal. 😉
And a jumper is a sweater, not a little girl’s dress.
(Don’t ask me how I know these things. lol)
“Unlock the keys…”? I thought you used keys to do the unlocking. That’s sort of similar to idea of going “up the bridge” when a bridge is something you go across not up.
i alays thought they had misunderstoods and such, mebby its so.
As an introduction to the OT 3 materials, COB has updated the Golden Age of Tech (GAT 2A) with a special section entitled ‘Xenu for Xenophobes’.
See your AO Reg for details.
Make an advance payment by dialing 1-800-VOLCANO.
CALL NOW for a 2 1/2% discount.
Sea Org staff are standing by 24/7.
CALL NOW!!!
How are those Thursday stats Mr. DAVID MISCAVIGE? I am sure you have seen every possible way your underlings have creatively tried to over-inflate the truth… that your dictatorship is crumbling around you.
Oh yeah, and WHERE’S SHELLEY?!?
To: WhatAreYourCrimes
From:David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: spreading misinformation
Number one, we DO NOT overinflate the truth, we only exagerate it slightly! Number two, my dictatorship is not crumbling but is stronger than ever, and Number three, Shelley……………..
YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RANK TO ASK THAT QUESTION!
ML
Dave.
If $cientologists are behind Lord Xenu of the Anticlimactic Empire I guess there’s no reason not to believe in and support Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny along the way too and any other creature of fantasy for that matter, energy, space or time.
Did anyone see “The Daily Show” last night? Bill Gates was talking about his foundation spending hundreds of millions of dollars on creating toilets for Durban, South Africa. 30% of Durban residents don’t have access to sanitary toilets/sewage systems. Gates has funded a program that uses solar power to take feces and urine and turn it into drinking water. The waste water processing system doesn’t need to be hooked up to a public sanitation or sewer grid, so the city doesn’t have to spend millions on infrastructure. It’s an amazing project.
Interesting that The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is funding such a life-changing project in Durban, but the Scientologists are having a BBQ and surfing event.
What does clean drinking water matter if you aren’t rocketing up the Bridge?
Wouldn’t it be nice if Bill Gates would buy Robert Almblad’s ice-sanitizer machine? Or would ol’ Bill cave at scientology’s onslaught too?
Miss Q that’s a fascinating thought!
A Durban Ideal Org would also recycle sh**t
A Durban Ideal org would also recycle sh**t
Gee, what’s the Christmas season without Chan the Noddle Man? He’s missing once again, very disappointing… think I might have to have a good cry.
We haven’t seen mighty Quinn the Eskimo man in awhile either. I wonder if he is ‘holed’ up over at Dave’s place?
Not to worry, Dave is handling him quintessentially.
Cummings and Bridgeforth must share the Patron Gluteus Maximus award for being the biggest, most gullible idiots.
I don’t know nomnom, there is a lot of competition in the cult for that prestigious status! Cruise, Travolta and Alley are top competitors in that arena.
No, that would be the status of IAS Patron Bullshittus Maximus.
Those making truly stellar contributions will be awarded the status of Patron Arslycus Asslickus.
No, no, wait!!!!!!!!!!!!
I INSIST on everyone knowing what truly is the highest status in Scientology, the pinnacle of cult beingness,doingness and havingness!
It is:
(Cathedral hush)
PATRON FUCKED TO THE MAXIMUS.*
*Not an Aqua Original. Copied from someone posting here..Don’t know who. Kudos to the authro as it always cracks me up.
After achieving the highest status they are fully set up for Patron Moribundus.
Nomnom, add “narcissistic” to your list of adjectives for Bridgeforth and Cummings.
I just felt compelled to chime in here and say that the stuff they put on that red “tax donation” poster really pisses me off. They’re making a mockery out of the IRS, and all of us taxpayers ultimately end up carrying the burden for this kind of crap.
Scientology promotion gives bullshit a bad name.
Yep, very sad, they’ve taken all the fun out of it.
Agreed. At least bullshit can be used a fertiliser, $camology only grows Drunken Miniman’s bank account.
Aah tax ime, the time when scientology pretends they still deliver training and auditing.
I doubt that any money anyone currently in scientology pays on account will get them very far in their journey up the ever changing bridge, more appropriately titled chutes and ladders, although they may get a couple of the dozen pre-qualification sec checks paid for, How often can you pay for things you’ve already done before you give up?
The new “SO #1” line.
Letters to Santa. And you can get a “good roads, good weather” letter back from one of Santa’s Elves, just like those letters that were sent to Ron.
So, do you have to pay for what Santa brings? I think they meant letters to the Grinch. Just a typo.
A new historical unprecedented status for the sociopath ecclesiastical leader miscabage:
Idioticus Moronicus Criminalicus Invictus
Should there be an animal out there with the name “Idioticus Moronicus Criminalicus Invictus”, then we apologize to it wholeheartedly, as we wouldn’t want to offend it.
Too late, I have to go into therapy now to remove the stigma of being compared to something in $camology. (Puts paper bag over head.) Me and the Fool on the Hill were so happy just lying around watching the world go…oohh, that could become a song…by.
Can anyone help Old Saint Nick? He’s been looking for Shelly Miscavige for years now. And her husband, that evil Xmas elf, is on Santa’s “S” list once again this year!
But but but…the LAPD said Shelly was fine. I’d like to see the pockets that were padded for that one. I bet the guys who “checked up on her” can’t sit down due to the fullness of their padded pockets.
Naaahh…
It’s hickies on their heinies!
So the law enforcement officer that was on telling Leah the results of her missing person report, and that she was alive, has conveniently retired. Is that right?
Lou: What’s going to happen with Shelly?
Dave: Same as with Mary Sue. Any other stupid questions, you’re already over quota.
Lou: Yes sir.
Merry Christmas as we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ – the Implant.
May your family be blessed as we extort every dime out of you, manipulate your family to sign billion year contracts so we can black mail you to stay in and give – for eternity and deceive you into believing we have a Bridge to Total Freedom.
Heh – it worked for the implant.
If you want to get rich – start a religion. LRH
O what would Christmas be without the traditional postulate seminar and balloon release?
When Scientology jumps on the Christmas bandwagon, it is like the reading of Milton’s “Paradise Lost” which details the fall of Lucifer in the battles in heaven. Everyone sees through Scientology except the Scientologists themselves. There is no doubt that throughout his life Hubbard wanted to be the anti-Christ acting in the role of Lucifer. This was drilled into me in 1988 on the Freewinds on OT VIII streaming in open waters on a stormy Caribbean. There is no mistake in what I read and in what I audited. The full meaning is that Christians are mere implanted beings with the primary incident in the Helatrobus implants and this later enforced by at least two more implants – one with the early Marcabs and the other with Xenu. The facts of the implants are not important. What Hubbard and Crowley objected to was the dream like submissive state. My greatest laughter comes in reading Milton’s Paradise Lost. Hubbard obviously never read it because Lucifer is the great loser. In one passage, God sends a Seraphim – a sort of ancient helicopter gunship – which delivers a massive force blow to Lucifer’s head. Lucifer then back up ten paces and falls to one knee. Hubbard is beaten.
This Christmas is the time to fully highlight Scientology as Luciferian.
Hi George! Merry Christmas and Merry Everything!
I agree, Hubbard defined in the metaphysical sense was demonic. “By their fruits he shall know them”- Matthew 7:16
Just look at the fruit, the outcome, the result of Hubbard’s work:
Lies
Violent retaliation
Greed for money
Greed for power
Broken families in distress
Children losing parents
Parents losing children
Cadet orgs with children neglected
Intellectual arrogance
Narcissism
Delusional powers
Hate
Anger
All of these traits above are the dark side of the metaphysical spectrum and traits of Hubbard and Scientology.
Traits that are looked at with condescension:
Sympathy
Humility
Feeling and perception of the Oneness of all life
Grief for losing a loved one is an aberration to be auditing out
Seeing the inner light of Spirit is an implant
The afterlife in the astral world is an implant
Reincarnation is an implant (as defined by every other path of the spirit)
Evolution is an implant
Scientology is the “only way”
If you don’t become a Scientologist you will suffer forever and become a rock
God is an implant
Angels are implants
All other spiritual paths are implants
In this beautiful Christmas season, celebrated by much of the planet, I pray that the Light Of Truth continue to expose this demonic dark metaphysical blemish in our world.
I pray that the Light Of Truth peel back the deception, that Hubbard so carefully created with his doctrines of hate, and exorcise the demons of lies and darkness from our world.
Make no mistake about it. Hubbard was a monster. Hubbard was a disciple of the dark side. That’s who he was in Truth.
“By their fruits he shall know them” Jesus Christ
Just look at the fruits, the result, the outcome of his work – and you will know him.
Oh Light Of Truth! Surround this cult with love and understanding and free these souls from Hubbard’s demonic intentions.
The being that needs to be exorcised from people’s bodies and minds is not a BT – it’s L Ron Hubbard.
Correction
“By their fruits “ye” shall know them”
Hi Brian,
Merry Christmas and Merry Everything as well!
Great comment you made.
Bravo Brian!
Brian is spot on and his statement is confirmed by Hubbard’s Affirmations and by much of Hubbard’s ” taking the piss” in the Philadelphia Doctorate Course lectures( e.g. his commentary about games, games-makers, pieces, players, etc. ), as well as by the biographies of him written by Atack, Miller, and Corydon.
There is NO hyperbole in his comment. Ditto George White’s comment.
As one digs deeper into scientology, the rank evil that it is built on becomes more obvious . It really IS that bad.
Hey, OSA: you assholes are actively supporting, forwarding, and producing massive evil, despair, and suffering. Please stop, leave, and expose the sociopath who gives you your marching orders.
So Mark,
You are saying that Hubbard was a self-made Man, who also worshiped his creator?
Good one, Jim!?
OSA = Overflowing Scatologic Asininity.
Fascinating George! Now I want to look at Paradise Lost again.
Me too! Really good comments Brian.
Conversation in Hell:
Lucifer: Who’s the new guy?
Minion: L. Ron Hubbard
Lucifer: What’s his story?
Minion: He thinks he’s you.
Lucifer: WTF?
Minion: Yeah, he was writing some secret shit and got people to pay for it where he revealed himself as Lucifer.
Lucifer: Delusional.
Minion: He also sold a Purification Rundown and had people sweating their asses off in a sauna.
Lucifer: Okay, this guy is gonna get the real rundown. Turn up the fucking heat!
Bearing in mind that the only reason LRH wound up down there was because he came before the Judgment Seat and found out that Jesus wasn’t an implant after all.
(AT THE JUDGMENT SEAT, LATE JANUARY 1986)
CHRIST: Lafayette Ron Hubbard, you are guilty of teaching thousands of people on Earth that I am nothing but something put into their heads by space aliens!
LRH: Well, you seem to forget, implant, that I happen to be Lucifer Incarnate!
CHRIST: Implant? IMPLANT?!! DEPART FROM ME, YE CURSED! INTO EVERLASTING FIRE PREPARED FOR THE DEVIL AND HIS ANGELS!
LRH: As I am Lucifer Incarnate, you only enable me to claim my true kingdom, implant!
CHRIST: DEPAAAAAAAARRRRTTTTTT!