Flag OTC
They put out their news like this now.
Glad to see they are still promoting getting employees of scientology businesses onto services. It’s always been a big success.
I want one of those OTC pens they gave out for Christmas. It would be a perfect match for my IAS sunglasses. And SuperPower koozie.
ANOTHER new game…
They have had the “Matching Game” and the “Infinity Game” and now “50 for LRH’s Birthday.”
It just never seems to get any closer.
Scots Humor
Strange would be an understatement.
But then again, they do eat haggis.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Scotland. And England. And Ireland. My favorite places to visit. But this is just too weird. “We killed the first deer, so without our great heritage there would be no Bambi” Huh?
San Francisco Mission
A Special Correspondent sent this in to be included in the document binders the church has prepared for HBO to prove the 47X expansion:
Postulates
He is postulating that he will round up some more people to get to Flag because they don’t have enough to keep their auditors busy, such is the underwhelming demand for SP.
IAS
Really — their special guest for IAS fundraising is a “Pastor”. I wonder if Pastor Stevenson has any idea where the money goes that he is going to help them collect?
Gavin Potter on the B Team….
Demoted to supporting act for Mr. Sterling Management himself….
It was bad enough they brought in Henry Breuer to “oversee” him. This is a public humiliation.
Wonder if he is going to appear in stocks on L. Ron Hubbard Way as the scapegoat for the Freewinds being unable to attract anyone for anything?
10X it with “GC”
Does this guy’s ego have any limit? He has his own little stylized logo now on church promo…
Moving in on YSL, RL, MLK, JC — people known by their initials. Though I look at this shot and I think BR.
Barney Rubble.
Manatee County Fair
Make up your own caption…
Coincidence?
Perhaps it is just a coincidence that scientology has decided to run their full page USA Today ads on Thursday to coincide with the Thursday Funnies. Apparently they are not satisfied with having their funnies displayed exclusively on the fringes of the internet, but want hotel guests across the US to join in the hilarity. Here is the top half of this morning’s ad, I stole the image from a commenter at Tony Ortega’s blog:
Regraded Being
Any chance of creating a section on the site for Regraded Being? It would be nice to be able to find them again straight away without having to trawl through old posts.
See home page on right, there is a category
You asked, Mike, and I’m happy to oblige:
https://scontent-b-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/t31.0-8/10854335_837189299672803_8671695556869931669_o.jpg
Wonderful…
Me likes. 😉
Regraded Being is 5 stars.
Would be great to have a daily column, but I’ll settle for one a week. ☺
Jennifer Jacobson is Jennifer Charm or “JCharm”, whom Mike Rinder posted about in the past saying she has the “charm of a scorpion”. She was bitching for people “to do something!”, meaning to empty out their wallets for the Ideal Valley Org.
Hey Dave, how ’bout writing up some of your wins from applying GAT II as an auditor and pc so we can see how much you’ve benefitted. Don’t hold back!
MM, Mr.David Miscavige’s theta and whole track cognitions from his GAT II auditor training cannot be shared as they are too sublime for the earthly comprehension of those such as ourselves. Did you know that He already has one John Loeb in Target Two with implemented plans to clear that sector of the galaxy? We need to understand that the way to contribute to His motion is to just write those checks. That’s all we need to know.
He ain’t a-gettin’ one stinkin’ dime till he coughs up dem cogs.
I like the Regraded Being, perfect.
And talking about the jokes and 47X, walking today by Broadway Street in Glendale there is a Way To Happiness office with big promo pieces on it. 4 times I went by and not a single soul, only one staff and a sign that says “Hiring Now-Help Wanted-Full Time”. Indeed, all the orgs, centers and all else are death
Those are strange! My ability to see the funny side of things took a hammering with this blog this morning and transformed into some sort weird-o-meter. The residue of “Bambi, kill & venison” positioned with miscavige’s religion is still fighting between my ears for recognition – oh my… what a strange bunch they are, sort of reminds me of “Malcolm in the Middle” – No offence to that great TV pgm but the Cof$ appears to have taken it seriously.
Mike the San Francisco Mission comparison cuts to the heart of many of your articles. It clearly shows what is going on there and everywhere else. It reflects the membership, the false claims in the ads and websites, the fallacy of building huge new orgs, the despondency of those still trying, the lack of new business, and the fantasy land that current management lives in.
Amazing.
Special Announcement:
I have it on good authority that OT IX will be released concurrently with GAT III, as it was discovered you cannot really do that OT level without the high powered tech that is only realized after you drill GAT III to within an inch of your life. Here’s a success story from someone who just completed the pilot program:
“OMG, this is the missing piece that makes it all make sense! You HAVE to do this! All Scientologists will finally be where they’ve always dreamed of being. Do whatever it takes to get on GAT III! Beg, borrow and steal because it’ll all be worth it in the end. The only consideration you need is the one that gets you on and through GAT III. Trust me, you’ll thank me later. This I KNOW with absolute CERTAINTY. THIS IS THE GOLD OF THE GOLDEN AGE OF TECH!!!
My eternal gratitude to COB for putting it all together. I have decided to sign a Sea Org contract and pledge my three kids will join up just as soon as they can walk and talk. Thank you sir!!!
Don’t we need a couple of new whorehouse IX meters to go with the new level?
Hold your hat Cooper, my special correspondent told me there’ll be an updated beep meter that ferrets out duplicate reads on withholds and has a built-in program to say “that, that, that” ad infinitum until the pc coughs up the goods.
Oh yes Cooper! The new meter has a built in espresso maker to help keep you awake for those all-night sec checks and/or reg cycles. 🙂
Re: Michael Mallen’s “Special Announcement”
Where’s the %#(&%@ “like” button on this blog?
“Cow, stand on your hind legs. Thank you. Cow, wave your front legs about. Thank you.”
“Whatta load of bull!”
“I’m sorry. I thought you were a cow?”
Perhaps it’s an appropriate symbol as the majority of the people in the church appear to be cowed.
The church mascot because the members are cowed. Good one, Mike M!
Hats off to this week’s Regraded Being! Hilarious?
As an American (1st generation) of Scots decent, I am horrified.
Regraded Being, since you have already been regraded, I, not so bitter, apostate, unemployed blogger, would like to bestow upon you a new grade. By the power invested in me, by, myself (bitter apostate etc. etc.), regrade you to be an artist, humorist, satirist, dirty laundry confronter/exposer extraordinaire. In a word….AWESOME. I will send you a gaudy pen or a 3×5 foot cert or something.
Yes indeed, an upgrade for the regrade is in order.
x100 Regraded Being is definitely top notch.
For the Manatee County Fair caption…..how about “Big Mama Love”?
“Get your bullshit here.”
GAAAAWD……that baby is the cutest! Where does one begin on the twilight zone of it all? The buck, the GQ/GC guy…..what a tool! 24 million people?? Why don’t they just say a bazzilion gazzilion? It’s equally unreal and ridiculous. Of all people LRH would massively explode with anger at the 50 fuckhead humanitarians in his name, with the only product being status. Just trust me on that. And another peeve for my long list, the “volunteer minister” t-shirts are butt ugly, bragging and probably false. I’ll bet there’s few people who have done the minister’s course in recent decades and “coerced, extorted minister” would be more true and fitting. Who wouldn’t want to be helped by a deceitful, self aggrandizing, ugly assed, fake minister?????
Regraded Being just gave me a massive win! It’s like I was right there with COB!! In His presence!!!
I think we all have a special place for the lil’ cobster in our hearts.
Postulates flyer: “What is the missing step between postulate and reality?” Simply this: BLOW
P.S. Regraded Being, I think every time, “THIS is your best!” But today, I really have to say, “THIS is your best!” Thank you.
I’m sure that the VM Cow would want revenge on me for my time as a meat inspector, so I see I should give her the opportunity.
Hay OSA, I happen to be at Tampa International right now waiting on my flight. I’m in Terminal C in the smoking area. I expect, nay, demand the Marty At LAX treatment. You failed to take advantage of the chance in 2008. Time for you to drop your balls and man up.
Go for it, cowards.
Good to see you Espi.
Espi! So so glad to see you yesterday and today!
Espi – please come home. A bunch of us miss you!!!
Safe flight, Espi, from stillgrace.
Hi, Espi. Miss you lots.
The upside down cross says it all !
What does the upside cross say?
1. Satanic practices or Black Magic?
2. Showing the finger to Christianity?
3. Piousness as in Saint Peter requesting to be crucified on an upside cross?
All three could apply to Scientology in some way.
correction to above: the upside DOWN cross.
It’s the reverse vector of the Miscavige universe.
Mike, say what you want about the Scottish. They’ll respect you more for it. The folk here are colourful but not a one would get any thing from that poster. That said we Scots have the best reply to Scientology planetwide:
“get tae f*ck”
Perfect. I LOOOOVE Scotland. One of my most favorite places to visit. And one of my best friends is from Glasgow (lives here now). I could sit and listen to any Scot talk all day and be totally mesmerized. Same with the Irish.
Irish here and tight with a penny as well……..yeah Celts! Trnaslation of me Irish below
Aye, laddie Wayward, I’m a Scot meself! We got to the U.S. in the mid 1700s. Someone came up to me the other day and asked for spare change. I told him, “I’m Scottish! I don’t understand the concept!”
Tis good to be a Celt!
Irish anseo agus daingean le pingin chomh maith …….. yera yeah Ceiltigh!
I tried to figure out the Bambi reference to Scotland and I just can’t come up with anything. I come from a big hunting and fishing culture too. Me brains empty…
Bambi is a distant cousin of Robert the Scot from Battlefield Earth.
Valerie, No, you are not alone in this feeling.
Does anyone in the real world believe those insane numbers that Scientology puts in the ads? If they would actually put a number that had some relation to reality somewhere in the ad, they might do themselves a favor. As it is, they make themselves a laughingstock.
Well, more of a laughingstock than they already are.
pssssttt: David Miscavige. HBO, Sundance and Alex Gibney thank you for the massive amount of free advertising.
I’ve been out so long (over 30 years) that my current husband had never heard of Scientology until they tried to “recover” me a few years back. He couldn’t believe the insanity of the hundreds of phone calls to get a more than 30 years gone member back.
He also had absolutely interest in hearing of my experiences until the attack ad in the New York Times and the full page ads in USA Today.
Last week for the first time since I started looking at all things Scientology he asked me “just what in the hell HAPPENED to you in Scientology that keeps you so adamant on making sure they are stopped all these years later?” I finally told him (short version). He was crying by the time I finished.
Now he understands.
The Thursday funnies make you laugh only because you have to laugh at the fact that there are still people who are buying the lies and you also laugh with joy at the fact that you are one of the ones who escaped the control of those lies.
I laugh, yet I am uncomfortable when I read that those who are still in are thrilled that they have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to get a free pen, I feel like screaming “I will order you a case of engraved pens with anything you want on them and give them to you free if you just escape and contact me.”
I laugh at the massively inflated numbers and wonder how a bubble dweller can believe then and in the same breath am sobered by the fact that when LRH said things like “the psychs are attacking us” I bought it hook, line and sinker, didn’t even think of questioning it.
When I see these Thursday Funnies, I read them with the hope that anyone who is reading these Thursday Funnies who is considering walking away understands that we are not making fun of you or religion, or the hold it has on you, we are simply exposing the fact that lies are being told to you and we are poking a gentle stick at the lies in the hope that you will see through them and escape their hold. I hope I am not alone in this feeling.
You’re not alone Valerie, not by a long shot. Your hubby sounds like a beautiful guy.
Hallie Jane, As for my hubby yes he is a beautiful guy.
When I first met him, he told me the story of his daughter (not really his daughter – not even the same race as him, but his name is on her birth certificate) and he ended it with “once I sobered up I realized that if I left (his now ex-wife) then, she (his daughter) would think there was something wrong with her and her brothers and sisters would think there was something wrong with her and there is nothing wrong with that little girl.”
I knew right then I had me a keeper (even though we didn’t marry for almost 15 more years).
I’m with you Valerie, you are not alone.
Top picture needs more baby:
http://umbraxenu.no-ip.biz/pix/MoeBaby.jpg
🙂
Man, Grant Cordone is disgusting.
He always wanted to be Grant Corleone but The Family nixed it.
He is. The guy’s a fuckin idiot. His main criteria on choosing a mate is how much $ they have. Seriously.
Perfect spokesman for the COS. But the good news is all you have to do is listen to him, and that alone will make most folks stay away.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I8_fxj5ZTA
Grant Cordone hatting class.
Regraded Being, this was priceless. “Yes, Sir, indeed, Sir…” OMG, I can just imagine Miscavige devouring this comic about himself with one of his sycophants.
Having trouble loading the webpage from my email. Anyone else have this issue?
Seems okay now.
I wonder how GQ magazine feel about Grant Cardone ripping off their logo. I suppose he has no ideas of his own.
You made me google this, Ella, and you are exactly right. For someone which Cardone’s business saavy to do this, you have to figure he just doesn’t believe anyone but church public will see this. Has he HEARD about the internet? Does he not realize he is often the star of these sites?
I believe Pastor Stevenson knows where a certain percentage of the money he helps collect is going.
And when someone blocks your exhibit with a giant inflatable cow, NOTHING can be done about it.
Bull. Inflatable bull. You can tell by the horns.
Not so subliminal advertising: Cover up the C of $ exhibit with a bull just screams, “Bull shit!” The person who placed that bull there had a sense of humor.
Confucius say, horny bull make trouble wherever he go.
“Make up your own caption”: Hello you folks in bright yellow shirts! I heard your organization slings an inordinate amount of BULL SHIT all over the world. Well, as a bull, I really appreciate your efforts! BULL SHIT just can’t be beat! I know as I sling it everyday. You can never get to much of grade ‘A’ BULL SHIT! On behalf of all bulls, we thank you for your support in slinging BULL SHIT in every direction. It just warms the hearts of all bulls everywhere. Hey, maybe we should join forces so we can sling twice as much BULL SHIT. Think about it and get back to me. I’ve got to go now as some cow is checking me out. I think I’ll sling some of my BULL SHIT at and see if she responds.
Go easy on the BULLS OSD. I keep sayin they should not be in the same feedlot as DAVE-SHIT! Besides, you are more likely to get a response.
Pastor Stevens definitely knows where a percentage of the money collected at that IAS event goes. Or do you think he just gets a flat fee?
Oh come on! 44,000 individual businesses introduced to LRH Admin Tech?? By one man?? Over a 30 year period?? (Note use of Question Mark Tech).
That works out to:
1467 per year
28 per week
4 per day
or one new business every 6 hours!
Kevin truly is OT. This is an incredible feat. Honestly, how does one do that? The man is relentless and resolute. It’s a pity that after all that hard work there are only a couple hundred (being generous) WISE companies.
Statpush, good observation. Seriously, how do they come up with these huge unrealistic numbers? They just pull them out of the bum? When it comes to actual facts, this organization have no credibility whatsoever.
Introduced, by any stretch of the word, does not mean implemented. It’s just stat puffery. Wish I knew the code for a blowfish emoticon 😈
LOL! “Stat puffery” is perfect. Wise is an original squirrel group. It seems their only purpose was to reg others for more money to reg others. No product whatsoever, just puffery. I really want a blowfish emoticon really bad now.
Ask anyone who worked for Sterling Mgmt and Kevin Wilson when the Times article came out in 1991. Kevin never went without, still wore $1,000 suits, drove an expensive sports car, lived in a lavish house in La Canada, CA. Yet he expected the staff to go without pay for months on end, which we did. He expected us to second mortgage our houses in order to work for him for free, to live off credit cards to work for him for free, yet he sacrificed nothing. It’s ironic that he is the guest speaker held up as an almost God here, because Sterling Mgmt Systems, his company, has been downsizing ever since 1991. They are in much smaller, uglier quarters now with about 1/4 the staff they used to have to handle a much smaller client base.
Well Cindy, that’s the best they got to cheer about in WISE. He is a “Model of Admin Know How” and whatever other honorifics they bestow upon him not because he is a successful businessman, but because he is a successful brownnoser and focuses his business on “flowing public to the church” (for a commission).
There’s a commonality there, Cindy, among the “elite” of scientology, the OT business owners who employed the toiling masses of scientology. Not only was employment by these “gods of admin know-how” generally demanding, thankless and ill-paying (this is from decades of experience), there was always a sense of entitlement on the part of the business owners that boggles belief. Difficult for an employer to find that kind of set-up outside of third-world nations, so you can see in that just one of the aspects of the cult that keeps the narcissists attached to the teat of this particular system.
You have to wonder if they see that the church is doing to them exactly what they are doing to others?
A dear old friend of mine, an early CL8 who was a brilliant tech terminal, worked at Sterling for years before she passed away. I’m not sure exactly when because it was hidden, I had to hear it on the grapevine years later. I believe she lost her soul working there as she became shallow and robotic and “not herself.” She was a beautiful, caring person and I would have loved to have had a rowdy wake celebrating her life. She had many good products including me. RIP Astrid Cordova Miller. Sorry to be so serious on funnies day.
Note to Hallie and Sheldon: You know that Astrid was my housemate for many years, one of my closest friends and I miss her all the time. Just to let you know that I did see Astrid when she was ill just a few months before she passed away. I was already in “ethics trouble” with a goldenrod out on me. Rest assured that SHE WAS NO LONGER DRINKING THE KOOL-AID at that point and we were in comm just as in the old days. While she certainly didn’t look good physically, as a being she was back to her old self.
I worked for one of those “OT Model of AKH” Wise business owners. And I must say it was not that bad most of the time. The boss was respectful and funny, paid well, and was there for me when I needed it. This went on for a few years.
…Up until I was fired because my husband was declared and I was kicked off staff.
Yeah, and what the fuck is it with owners of Scientology companies thinking they can borrow fucking money from the payroll??? What is it, they got behind on a few bills (probably because the IAS reg was there last Wednesday) so they think they can just skip payroll and put it on the batshit-insane “pay by dateline” schedule?? “Oh, gee, you know we’re catching up with some bills, and you know, the paychecks are on the dateline… maybe next week if stats are up.” Damn near everyone I know who has worked for a clam or a clam company got fucked by them.
Gee, that’s really brilliant “tech” on how to run a company.
Thanks Joe P. That means a lot to me to know that. 🙂
Cindy,
Kevin is still working his employees to the bone. They still get crappy pay on top of having to travel all over the U.S. to provide services to clients in their offices. Some things never change.
It kills me when I hear about how Scientologist companies / employers don’t follow the labor laws and treat their employees like they don’t matter. Not making payroll, not paying overtime, expecting people to work for free while living on credit or loans is just ridiculous. I never worked with Scientologists and always had a “real world” profession but I always heard these stories the whole time I was in the church. It was pretty astounding to me. The labor laws in California are very strict and they are enforced. What is sad is that the goodness of people is taken advantage of, combined with the threat of being labeled an SP if one were to go to the authorities about the violations in the workplace.
It seems that some public Scientologists think they can run their companies like the orgs or Int Management and treat their employees as though they are Sea Org members or something.
StatPush, You are assuming, over a 30 years period, he has been working: 52 weeks per year, which is every day of the year with no vacation nor holidays; 7 days per week; 24 hours per day.
A more realistic assumption would be over a 30 years period he has been working: 49 weeks per year (52 weeks minus 2 weeks vacation minus 1 week for all holidays – but never sick – ); 5.5 days per week; 10 hours per day.
Averages:
1467 per year
30 per week
5.5 per day
or one new business every 2 (working) hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hyper Exclamation Marks Tech well deserved).
This is my reply to Hallie Jane. Astrid was awesome. She was my senior at SFO when she was the Qual Sec and I was the Director of Correction. Our desks were next to each others and I still remember overhearing her response to a new person during a qual consultation. The person said to Astrid that she didn’t understand why almost everyone on staff were smoking cigarettes.
Astrid’s response – “this isn’t a health club.”
Not only did she die young, one of the founders of Sterling (or early partners) Randy Emery – also of SFO fame and a fabulous guy, died in his 30s.
Of course you are correct, MaBu. I was being very generous to Kevin. 🙂
It is astounding how stupid they must think the reader is.
What I find humorous is whenever they inflate their figures, they never seem to realize how bad it makes the current scene. For example: if John introduced 44,000 businesses to LRH Admin Tech, and given the fact that there are only about 200 WISE businesses listed in the last directory I saw, this implies that 43,800 businesses either saw no value in the tech or abandoned it’s use or were unwilling to join WISE. This is unbelievably embarrassing, yet the Kool Aid drinker never seem to notice.
As Fred Haseney’s personal representative, he asked me to relay to this wonderful blog a little overview of $terling Management $ystems (“SMS”) from the inside. Fred would have enjoyed writing this himself, but instead of waiting around for his “Suppressive Person Declare,” he’s gone instead to… Disneyland.
They’ll do anything in an attempt to lure a whale to the “Idle Valley mOrgue,” won’t they?
Fred remembers the days after the TIME magazine article came out (c. 1991); he and many others worked hard in Treasury at $M$ trying to keep the area quiet despite the number of creditor calls from unhappy vendors (who weren’t often paid on time) and from clients (who were dissatisfied with $M$’ product or lack thereof).
One day, Gauldino Salcido (forgive Fred if he can’t remember the correct spelling of the guy’s name), who at the time handled the financial audits and many of the Treasury Secretary functions, pointed out to Fred how Kevin Wilson had “used” or “borrowed” perhaps $4,000 (or more) in order to complete the purchase of his (new?) home. Fred just shook his head, because whatever Kevin wanted, Kevin got (but that stood, Fred believes, as the first time that $M$ actually helped Kevin with a big, personal-type purchase). Meanwhile, the creditor calls kept coming in; some of the staff kept wondering if they’d ever get their back pay; upset clients’ and creditors’ continued to often deplete the organization’s accounts.
Fred says, however, that patience can be a virtue.
Kevin never introduced $cientology administrative technology to 44,000 businesses personally. Kevin had the support of some of the most amazing people that Fred has ever had the pleasure of meeting and/or working with including (in no particular order):
Susan and Ben Ochart
Cynthia Manning
Al Brown
Paula Lovell
Jerry Langenfeld
David Aldrich
David and Joy Nagoda
Cindy Temps
Ahuda Gorman
Kevin surfed on the huge wave created by Greg and Debbie Hughes when they formed $M$. The blood and sweat of dozens and dozens, nay, hundreds and hundreds of hard-workers built the foundation that Kevin Wilson so proudly stands on today.
Here’s the “patience” part Fred mentioned above: shortly after Kevin bought his new house, he threw a pool party. During the party, he tripped at a corner of the pool and broke not just one, but both wrists.
After the accident and ensuing casts, some of the staff in $M$’ Treasury would sometimes make personal bets among themselves as to WHO wiped Kevin’s BUTT!
Thanks for insider views of SMS and Kevin, Fred aka Jenny, and others. I remember Kevin was always giving to IAS and as you say, brown nosing to DM. He probably took money from company funds cuz they weren’t paying staff or creditors at that time. And he discriminated against Scns because when the wogs who worked there banded together to take him to Small Claims Court, he up and paid them immediately to shut them up. But he continued NOT paying the Scns. He knew that we couldn’t and wouldn’t sue him due to it being against the Ethics rules laid out by Hubbard. So he took advantage of that and didn’t pay the Scn staff for about 3 months while we worked to get him out of the hole. That is religious discrimination. Some SMS workers declared bankruptcy, some mortgaged their houses, it cost some their marriages. He didn’t sacrifice anything. He loved being showered with admiration for his IAS status.
And his organization has continued to shrink to smaller and smaller quarters since the 90’s and that is the best that WISE has to offer as an example of AKH? Wow, it’s pathetic.
GC and his psycho wife deserve everything coming their way. that goes for all the has been celebs as well.
i’m not counting on this hbo doc to make much of a difference but i hope it’s devastating.
when you’re the one creating your enemies, it means enemies will never be in short supply.
The Cult of Scientology has absolutely no shortage of enemies. And that group is growing exponentially…
Nothing like a little spirit of pay, just like Ron intended.
Well, Michael, how else could he have amassed $650,000,000 in his Swiss bank account without the ‘spirit of pay?’ C’mon, Michael! Handing over money until it hurts equals case gain!
“If it doesn’t hurt, it’s not Scientology.”
He probably shorted the Swiss Franc just ahead of it un-pegging! That should leave a mark!
You got that right, MM!
Thanks for the Thursday Funnies Mike. Always enjoy some laughs on stat day. I love the “Regraded Being” comic panels. More please.
I watched the Frontline documentary “Secret State of North Korea” last night. Sadly it did remind me of the Church in many ways.
In many ways? No! In every way! If Scientology was a country, it would BE North Korea: It’s a dictatorship just like the cult is. Information is tightly controlled just like the cult. You aren’t allowed to leave just like the cult. They have slave labor camps just like the cult. They fear the outside world hence the name “Hermit Kingdom” just like the cult. Their reputation is extremely toxic just like the cult.
I rest my case…
OSD, I humbly disagree. North Korea has more control over their citizens because they can control more media and keep the people he controls further in the dark.
COB is losing more control every day because he is staging North Korean tactics thinking he can control the media and making himself look more and more idiotic every day.
Scientology is North Korea only with a spotlight shining firmly and unrelentingly on it every day. Scientology members are more and more seeing their “leader” as the Wizard of Oz that he is because every attempt he makes to repair the curtain is countered by twenty more rips in the curtain in other spots.
Of course, only my optimistic opinion. David Miscavige of course believes he is North Korea. He beats his teeny chest that he IS North Korea.
OSD, don’t forget that in North Korea, everyone is encouraged to spy and report on each other just like the cult. Relatives turn in each other to authorities to just avoid harsh punishment from the goverment
I knew I forgot something, Davids! You’re right! The cult is KR central. Similar to Mao’s Red Guard who wanted kids to spy on their parents. Also, a common line spoken by the Red Guards was, “Confess your crimes!” Sound familiar?
Best yet Mike, Regraded Being – totally on song. Gavin Potter also featured – hilarious! And the cow photo – and is that George Carlin reincarnated as a VM?
Off the charts Regraded Being. LOL – spit coffee all over my computer screen!
BTW – I recall a time when Orders came from above to get the VM Tent up for our “grand opening to come of the Idle Morgue” – which 8 years later is still sitting vacant and dilapidated.
We were given Orders to get it up and have the neighborhood come to a ceremony. We were told “GOLD” is coming…whatever that meant.
I was a public on the Oat Tea Committee. I left after that – what a waste of time. I kept thinking to myself – “why don’t they plan this better” – rush rush rush – then a total failure. I did not realize GOLD flys around looking for photos they can submit for the propaganda fed to the clubbed seals.
We stayed up ALL NIGHT and got the big ugly tent up at 7am.
NO ONE came and I mean NO ONE from the neighborhood.
People were driving by yelling “CULT”.
“GOLD” happened to be some starved and very thin hotties from the Int Base. They took pictures of us giving each other assists. We had a few staff members and I was the only public.
It was an utter failure.
Apparently COB did not like what he saw because we were not in any events.
This is hilarious, Idle Morgue. It made my Friday!
Yes, thank goodness for Scotland because without it having deer killed (like every other country with deer) we wouldn’t have a storybook and movie condemning the cruelty of hunting deer. That’s satire logic!
Regarded Being- FANTASTIC!
Bambi was an orphan fawn, mother killed by hunter. Not sure why that is an accomplishment.
Bambi was a Scientologist – did the original comm course back in the day.
This Bambi comment indicates to me that Fearless Leader ED HAPI Org John Gourlay is beginning to become unwrapped. He’s got this newsletter he’s got to put out, and no stats, which has to be why he’s so big on patriotism for Scotland and Highland ephemera. This largely inapplicable data helps fill in the large, blank spaces where the “news” should be. He really doesn’t have much to talk about, stat-wise, yet he has to sound like he has vital data that needs to be communicated. He has to keep up the illusion that HAPI is a happenin’ org. Must be a tremendous strain, poor guy.
Hey, if the Co$ has an org in whatever the country was which sent the first elephant to a circus, it can promote its services by stating that without this there would be no Dumbo today. Should get a lot of raw meat in the door, don’t you think?
Deer, Elk and reindeer are all over mainland Europe. Humans have been hunting them since Homo Erectus arrived there 1 million years ago. If we follow the accepted time line, Homo Sapiens got to Europe 50 thousand years ago. They hunted everything that ran, swam and flew.
HAPI is just a low budget provider of loyal clams to the central mOrg in Clearwater. When a Sea bOrg ‘mission’ arrives, you know your clams are going to Florida and your bottom line is going to suffer.
Zemoo, you just don’t get it: The first deer was killed in Scotland. It doesn’t matter how many thousands of years ago it happened, zemoo, OK? The first one that ever hit the ground was in Scotland. Your comment is not only Off-Source and CI to Command Intention, its anti-Scientology and anti-Bambi.
Thank you Regraded Being. So FUNNY!!!!!!!! I’m still laughing….
As far as the full-page spread in USA Today, I wonder what David Miscavige’s answer would be if someone asked him how he came up with the 24,000,000 number. I know this, David Miscavige has hurt more people than he has helped and by extension he has have hurt as many as 24,000,000. I know I am being more accurate that He is.
He came up with the number because it 1) is a very large, impressive number, and 2) it rolls off the tongue well.
While you are at it, how come the website says “11,000 churches” but only lists about 500?
GAT 2 math tech. Did you miss the briefing?
Miscavamatics, how else?
I spit my coffee out with the Barney Rubble. And he does look like him!
Barney Rubble in search of a Ruble.
And every time I see Cardone, I think “BS.” As well as “DB.” Not Scientology DB, but douchebag DB. It would give me such great pleasure to see that jackass end up like Richie Acunto. I know, I know, wishing someone ill is bad and all that, but goddammit, I’d just enjoy it so!