Take Control of Your Mental Health?
What if we told you up front that after you pay tens, if not hundreds of thousands to clear the effects of your reactive mind, that you will eventually realize it was something YOU “mocked up”?
How would your mental health seem then?
Fully In Control of Life
From reading a book?
At least he/she won’t need to waste money on auditing.
Focusing on Human Trafficking
I bet nobody has let Mona in on the secret that scientology is engaged in systemic human trafficking?
And that Columbus org is staffed with Sea Org members who are victims of human trafficking.
The “Non-Religious” Way to Happiness
Funny how it’s part of the scientology Bridge to Total Freedom. And they will assure you all the steps on the Bridge are FULLY religious…
Why would that be?
They’ve had an “ideal” building for a few years now. Nothing is happening there. The quote is from 1956.
Why join now?
This Answer is Too Easy
How to control your prosperity?
Stay away from scientology regges, FSMs, fundraisers, events and webinars.
And if he is so good at his dissemination in Bulgaria, how come there is no scientology organization there?
Learn to use PR tech
From this guy?
According to scientology, his claim to fame is he “leads the battle against human trafficking in Mexico by educating the youth.”
Another one who doesn’t seem to realize he is part of a human trafficking organization. And he is battling it by “educating the youth.” Wonder what he tells them? “Don’t be trafficked”?
Just way too much to unpack here….
Wonder why 3 of the top 6 are in Clearwater for the “European” WISE Convention?
Young, diverse, trendy hairstyles
Any bets on whether these are actors?
Love the fact they still say “You MAY qualify”… Anyone who is not bedridden will qualify.
But the greatest conceit is the tag: “For the future of billions” They’re actually accomplishing nothing for nobody.
The Shrinking World of Scientology
More people are abandoning their cities with failing scientology orgs to gather for the last circling of the wagons in Clearwater.
There’s always an opportunistic scientologist ready to help you themselves make money.
Kiddie Corner
6 years old perhaps?
Everyone has to write a success story, even if they can’t really write…
This is an “ideal” org…
17 poeple total (including staff members) completed the chapter of a book.
Denmark…
The combined Denmark and Copenhagen “ideal orgs” rounded up this many people for a photo shoot that day of the “grand opening” — no doubt including many SO members and staff from other orgs. They have never again seen this many people at one time at this “ideal” org.
Exclusive? Special?
They’ve been showing the same video now for 6 months to anyone they can persuade to watch it.
Solve it with Scientology
Isn’t that what Ron said? Don’t hold raffles. Don’t be dilettantes.
Oh, how quickly they forget.
Are You Alive Today?
If not, I doubt they will be joining you for the seminar…
This guy is very strange.
Spit in the eye of the physical universe”?
And “kindness”? Not something associated with scientology.
Would you buy a used car from this guy?
Seriously, he just does not portray the image of the man with the answers to everything.
Real says
Everytime I see one of these promo’s for a scmology event with speaker I see one of these in the back parking lot of the venue.
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/DOsAAOSwgCphJVBM/s-l1600.jpg
Lance Caldwell says
In the last Funny by Michael Lewis, his topic is: “What topic would be most helpful for you to help your friends? A loaded question. “How to get everyone away from the cult,” How to get the IRS off their dead butts and tax the cult out of extinction. Have real cops check into criminal activities. Etc. Thanks for the great Funnies, I have not seen them in a while.
Jere Lull says
Human Rights Celebration? Merely Human wogs don’t HAVE any rights, don’cha know? They should humanely be put out of their misery, according to the big guy.
Jere Lull says
Yeah, Dianetics and scientology will help you find yourself … Buried in debt, of course.
grumpycat says
Too much comedy for one post. I can’t take it!
chuckbeattyExTeamXenu75to03 says
Well, because Scientology lifestyle, as a staffer in Scientology for any considerable length of time, and then the longer staying members, who devote years of participation and money, and who receive the goodies, who get the counseling (I think the word “pseudo-therapy” and the word exorcism are suitable in hindsight myself), because of all the accumulated participation and receipt of the “auditing” (which I think is best called pseudo-therapy/exorcism), persons who’ve been there, have a lot to unwind from.
Hubbard created an intensely immersive “group”, as he was fond of calling Scientology. It was a “good group” he many times wrote or spoke.
It causes an intensely entangling group participation life to unwind from, and come back to regular life’s normal and lesser constraints.
The ideas of Scientology, I always wished were just laid on the table.
The past lives required beliefs.
The fact that past lives will inevitably delve into cosmic themes of other planets, other distant times, and even current distant space civilizations (the Class 6 Briefing Course “training film” the one that has the late Isaac Hayes star as the narrator), tell of current distant space civilizations who are decayed, and that Class 6 Scientologists may find themselves there in these distant decayed space civilizations, and will wish to start Scientology there, and thus they will be doing so from memory. There are multiple lessons from this one very important training film (if you believe in past and future lives, and in the “tech” of Hubbard’s worth to spread across the universe for the undoing of the cosmic dwindling spiral and all).
Scientology can logically be defended.
I just wished it were allowed, and that it did, defend itself into the details of what their beliefs are.
I wish the fuller story and ending of LRH’s life were told in connection to Hubbard’s fuller dreams for the usage and the spreading of the “tech” to the rest of the universe, and in connection to the “dwindling spiral” writing which is several places including his final Ron’s Journals or one of those last LRH EDs where he gets into this.
The “Native State” goal mentioned in the one 339R Int LRH ED for staff, is so relevant.
When I was a participant, it was the cosmic fuller bigger forward looking dream, which kept me there.
It is hard to get this across to people who haven’t been consumed with the “high” dreams of LRH’s and that the “tech” (to me it is quackery, and it’s futile to think the quackery will actually deliver a person into the exterior soul out of the body condition at will, as the L Rundowns false claims of LRH promise). But the dreams of this soul release from the body, and soul rejuvenation promise, is what kept me there.
Even though there was no one of the OT 8s or upper OT Scientologists demonstrating out of the body full soul release statehood, the hope is what kept me, as a lower staffer, glued to the movement.
I am almost positive, if the Scientologists still standing, were asked leading questions about what I just stated above which kept me, that they too had similar or even greater detailed soul exteriorization and other soul goals, in Scientology, that kind of thinking in the back of their minds is what keeps them.
it is these hopeful soul goals, that keep them, and their endeavours as a group are what keeps them there.
They think they are doing a grand world and universe wide good thing with their Ideal Orgs (empty as they always have been, even the prior eras of Scientology, the phrase I recall used was “small and failing orgs” for the tiny for show only, orgs, which were always tiny almost “center” or “book selling offices” only in size).
It’s the big goals, that they have entangled in their minds, that keep them there.
Dispelling the whole layers of false dreams, is a long process.
LRH was only “good” at egging everyone along with his false goals. Selling “blue sky” as Jon Atack aptly titled his must read books.
Chuck Beatty
ex Team Xenu, 1975-2003
Jere Lull says
If scientology actually WORKED, it wouldn’t need to defend anything. Things would be too busy for anyone to notice the out points. Instead, it is what it is.
Jere Lull says
Right, Chuck. We were always chasing the dream Tubby kept putting further and further out there: Just after the next process, the next level, the next lifetime (So THIS lifetime ain’t worth nuttin’ and should be discarded at will.)
WhatAreYourCrimes says
Is Ed Grimley a member of the Sea Org now?? (*the guy on the far left in the Sea Org recruitment photo)
Joe Pendleton says
Yes he is … I must say. The photo shoot probably made him go mental.
Chuck J. says
Great point, Mike. “Circling the wagons in Clearwater.” Which is exactly what the cult is doing. I have nothing to say about the $cn. promo…. except whoever Michael Lewis is he’s a scary looking dude.
GL says
“Funny how it’s part of the scientology Bridge to Total Freedom. And they will assure you all the steps on the Bridge are FULLY religious…”
…and paid for in full OR ELSE!
Young, diverse, trendy hairstyles.
“One Team for the Future of Billions.” They seem to have left out two words, “…of Dollars.”
Kiddie Corner
That struck me as being almost 100% certain that it was written by an adult pretending to be a child. An auditor desperate to get their stats up so they could have three beans with their rice perhaps?
Exclusive? Special?
“You’ll leave this briefing inspired and informed and with an empty wallet or purse.”
Solve it with Scientology
“$2000 Grand Prize” You win and then you pay us the $2000 for winning the prize.
Michael Lewis.
After looking at that photo of the Z rate Mr. Rogers I doubt he even knows that we have well and truly gone past the Altair 8800 home PC, with hand cranked power supply, and no longer need a big green button marked, “Push to turn on computer.”
Jere Lull says
One team for future BULLION, that is. Gold is the only recession/suppression-proof exchange currency.
Chris Shugart says
The cropping of the photo in the group shot of Copenhagen and Denmark creates the illusion that there’s a lot of people. I counted 51. I’m not impressed.
Jere Lull says
51 is 51X expansion, Chris.
Chris Shugart says
That’s hilarious. You’re apparently more facile with Scn math than I—a cryptic formula that can produce glowing and optimistic numbers out of nothing.
Dotey OT says
Emmett Osborne is a very funny guy. If you haven’t seen him do an event, I highly recommend it. Go scio-commando, that means without your wallet. BTW, that actually doesn’t work.
If you can get past the insanely complicated drivel that he is trying to teach you, he inserts some jokes that will have you snorting your drink through your nose! Great deadpan delivery, and a sense of comedic timing that is genius!! I wonder what he would be like if he pounded down a few before his routine? Wouldn’t it be lovely to see someone take the stage on the FW and they are three sheets to the wind??
I could see it now! Sorry.
“Thanks for the wonderful introduction COB, I hardly feel like I can live up to it. BTW, what happens if I don’t?? Overboard with old Emmett, I suppose?? Me swimmin with all the Shelley fish. Oops, freudian slip. Oops!!”
Crickets.
“I heard people disappear around here about as fast as Joe Biden after a press conference.”
Crickets.
COB, red faced. In pain and smiling. Psychopathic.
“Hey, they should start sending out promo for the Freewinds that says ‘Come onboard for our special Labor Day Weekend TWO FOR ONE Special, and bring your thetan!! (Bad beginning scientology joke).
“While you’re on the ship improving you as a thetan, send the body to the beach to get the-tan.”
COB with an axe mumbles “fuck this” and rushes the stage…
Zee Moo says
$cientology isn’t the only ‘religion’ to practice preaching to the choir, but it is like watching a few time share infomercials and just knowing the condo you bought into is about to fall down.
Ed Cadena says
Raul Arias Perez: Freedom Medal winner, new OT VIII and International speaker for the Freewinds, that is awesome. If anything from those humongous volume of information some way workable, all of us would be in better shape and the truth is…revealing!
Geoff Levin says
Mike, glad you are reintroducing Thur Funnies. It’s a chance to get a glimpse into the latest Scientology promotional delusions. They are so tragic they are funny.
Cindy says
Michael still wears the same wig he wore 40 years ago. In spite of all the hair, he is looking long in the tooth.
SassMasterSuperman says
In one way they are funny.
But in a larger way, when you realize these creeps would not be doing this if they were not finding dupes to cheat so they could make money …. it’s a lot more tragic than funny.
Same goes for this sleazy cult. One way or another they are getting a piece of that money too.
For shame. For shame. For shame.
Geoff Levin says
I agree. Ultimately though they need to be ridiculed. Scientology has the hardest time dealing with humor about them. Hubbard wrote a policy on it to make sure he could stop it. Joker and Degrader. They deserve to be exposed as the evil clowns they are. They take their false purposes and planet wide goals so seriously.
SassMasterSuperman says
Suppose I told you that this evil cult is something that you just imagined and all the money you donated to them and all the money you spent on their phony services was just imaginary money and it is currently sitting in imaginary off-shore bank accounts.
How would you like them apples?
bixntram says
“Would you buy a used car from this guy?” I wouldn’t buy a NEW car from this guy; even if he threw in a Vego-matic.
bixntram says
Moving right along: “I have now seen the true meaning of life and myself…and I will go further”. To see what? The even truer, REALLY true meaning of life and myself (by taking out a third mortgage to pay for the next level)? Can even a clam be that dumb? Rhetorical question, of course.
I could easily spend all day parsing out the stupidity in all these wins, but alas, duty calls and the dogs need to go out.
grisianfarce says
I am curious how Michael Lewis has cracked kindness and “compliance from even the most contrary”. Some of the most contrary will take your kindness cake and smash it into your face.
Loosing my Religion says
I fully agree. Laughing.
bixntram says
“I needed help differentiating all the good memories from the bad memories.” I can’t imagine this being a “problem” I, or any rational person, would pay beaucoup bucks to fix. I have no trouble with that at all, and at my decrepit age I have a LOT of memories.
Okay, who here has ever had a problem differentiating good memories from bad memories? Anyone? Take all the time you need to answer.
Peggy L says
bixntram quoted Terry Poe
“I needed help differentiating all the good memories from the bad memories.”
I recently decided to just tell myself when I thought about a bad memory, something stupid I did or said, was to just tell myself “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time”, and just put it aside. Seemed to work 🙂
GL says
I only ever have good memories all the time because I am just so damned good…aagghh…choke…halo slipped…gag…around…gasp…neck…tightening…gurgle…
Bixntram says
You lie like: choice a: a rug; choice b: a scientologist, in which case your choking indicates a big flunk! Scientology can help you with that.
GL says
I’ll have you know that I only lie like a handcrafted Silk Isfahan Rug because only the absolute best is good enough for…agh…choke…gasp…
ISNOINews says
O/T. I believe that this is a major story.
The Church of Scientology owns a new, additional publishing house: FORB Publications aka FORB Press.
FORB publishes books in the field of Freedom of Religion or Belief, iincluding New Religious Movements.
The FORB website explains that it is an initiative of the Spanish Foundation for the Improvement of Life, Culture, and Society, which has been recognized with Consultative Status to the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations:
https://forbpress.mejorandolasociedad.es/
In turn, the official Scientology Newsroom website states that Foundation for the Improvement of Life, Culture, and Society is a “Scientology Foundation,” and congratulates it for obtaining Consultative Status to the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations:
[Link broken to avoid accidental clicks and resulting IP harvesting.]
https://www. scientologynews. org/press-releases/scientology-foundation-gains-special-consultative-status-to-the-un.html
I decided to investigate FORB after posting a week ago that the “new” composite book “Scientology: Belief, Practice, Other Religions & Apostates” (published on August 24, 2021) by Bryan R. Wilson (who died in 2004) was published by FORB Publications. Wilson was know for his sympathetic view of New Religious Movements and hostility to “apostate” testimony.
FORB publishes another book by Wilson, as well as a number of books about Scientology and Scientology Founder L. Ron Hubbard.
I believe that we will see FORB, which is essentially an mprint of the Church of Scientology, publish more books that are sympathetic to New Religious Movements, and particularly to Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard.
Memorialized on ESMBR and WWP with screenshots at:
https://exscn2.net/threads/the-church-of-scientology-controls-a-new-additional-publishing-house-forb-publications-aka-forb-press.3904/
https://whyweprotest.net/threads/the-church-of-scientology-controls-a-new-publishing-house-forb-publications-aka-forb-press.137654/#post-2793093
/
grisianfarce says
Good catch. Hopefully someone in the UN will take another look who’s funding these dubious publications.
bixntram says
“Good catch. Hopefully someone in the UN will take another look who’s funding these dubious publications.”
And hopefully pigs will fly.
ISNOINews says
As noted above, FORB published the “new” composite book “Scientology: Belief, Practice, Other Religions and Apostates” (published on August 24, 2021) by Bryan R. Wilson (who died in 2004).
https://www.amazon.com/dp/841236256X/
Significantly, FORB published the book in German on 9//1/21:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/8412362578/
Memorialized at the ESMBR and WWP threads linked in the OP.
/
mat pesch says
The Michael Lewis poster with him in his blue sweater looking so distraught brings back Sea Org memories of staff asking if there will be any pay that week, if they could possibly get a uniform shirt to wear or get medical money approved to address their wife’s cancer. That’s the poster the Sea Org should use for their recruitment. Maybe they could add a “scratch and sniff” of what they can expect their dorm to smell like.
Loosing my Religion says
“The Michael Lewis poster with him in his blue sweater looking so distraught brings back Sea Org memories of staff asking if there will be any pay that week,”
Mat really hilarious. I can see the guy in front of the treasury door with that face.
Still laughing.
Cindy says
Or he looks like a not so sane Mr Rogers in blue.
Loosing my Religion says
Cindy. True.
That promo alone tells you a little bit about the guy’s mind.
It arouses the same interest as having 5 howler monkeys in the bedroom.
You have to hear what happens at dawn!
Cindy says
hA HA HA I can only imagine
Loosing my Religion says
The two last promo from M. Lewis are really bad stuff. One seems a cartoon from the 60’s.
The last one is just missing in the background a vietnam scenario with few helicopters and lot of smoke.
He can solve also “reative tech” (????)
To me the guy in the picture looks really like he’s jinxing.
Mark Kamran says
Yes got it, infact most of the promos are to attract senior citizens.
This also reflects by making claims, luckily it is not made on main stream media otherwise subject to investigation from regulatory authorities.
It usually happens when the Cults are at stage of paranoia.( 2nd last stage before extinction)
It reflects crisis of confidence amongst followers, the Supreme leader knows boat is sinking, he use all myths ,conspiracy theories.and false hope keep it on ventilator.
Having cure of all illness, mental health, spiritual power , wealth, looking for reincarnated heavenly dities and leaders etc etc served as oxygen cylinder to keep it alive.
But no one can change the eventuality with which every Cult has to go through ” age of extinction ”
Question is that would it be peaceful or dramatic.
Loosing my Religion says
Thanks Mark. Soon they could release the extinction courses to help those still in to pass away quietly.
Most of the people I know (and knew) wouldn’t find any appeal in this jinxy promo.
Honestly it isn’t clear to which kind of public is addressed to. However it gives an idea of what they think there is outside the bubble. I would love see more stuff about this Michael Lewis. He seems very creative.
otherles says
Someone should make a film of The Breakable Miss Lovely. Too bad they’ll be hassled by Scientology.