Things are a bit thin this week — they must have been all tuckered out from the LRH Birthday bash.
But then the new “Birthday Celebration” REPLAY announcements started rolling in. I guess the first time didn’t get a big enough response and COB was not amused…
We also have some of the usual buffoonery…
This is Graduation?
Gosh, no OEC? No Hubbard Management Tech?
How can you expect to be hired by a scientologist?
How is it she is no longer the Field Control Secretary at the Mighty Miami Ideal Org?
Kiddie Corner
Always makes me cringe
And more cringe
We came second…
Hard to tell if they are happy or sad. Happy I guess?
This was the first replay announcement
Then they upped the ante
Obviously COB was displeased so they ramped it up, including a bunch of absolute gibberish “successes” about the Golden Age of Admin and what it is “going to do.”
AND, they are constructing a tent. So it MUST be important.
Meanwhile, “Excellence and Abundance”
Brought to you by the excellently abundant Michael Lewis who is apparently rolling in dough
Not really funny
At least they are raising money for generators rather than Way to Happiness booklets…
Until you get to the end.
Then they start on the WTH bs and “training children.”
And what is at 19 W 24th St — a Company called Transferwise, not WISE.
It’s going down in history….
They’re prospecting for your gold
You have some surprises coming your way
Your “exciting future” is filled with a whole lot more BT’s and clusters
For ANZO?
Not for any org?
CC Int is missing the Source boat
Listing 111 ice cream toppings instead of talking about the amazing COB Golden Age of Admin or Ron’s incredible life of lies?
Some heads will roll….
To: Balletlady
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: recent comm particle
I DON’T CARE IF YOU LEFT! YOU BRING THOSE BOOKS BACK NOW!, IF YOU SO MUCH AS WIPED YOUR ASS WITH EVEN ONE PAGE YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THE FULL FURY OF MY WRATH!
ML,
Dave.
To : David Miscavige COB RTC
From: Alcoboy
Re: the full fury of your wrath
You cannot be serious!
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
Dearest Fearless Leader DM,
I’ve just learned someone wrote a KR on me because I stole a roll of toilet paper during my last visit.
I beg your forgiveness, but I was OUT of paper as I used ALL of the pages from the “Way To Happiness” Book.
No worries, it was an “old book”, you know the one that constantly gets revised/reprinted because a word is out of place or a . , / ? or maybe a ” ‘.
Much love,
Balletlady
To: Balletlady
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: toilet paper.
First, there is no way that you could have stolen toilet paper from any org as none of them have any! I see to that! Second, how dare you desecrate something as holy as a WTH book! Report to my office immediately to receive your amends project!
ML,
Dave.
To: David Miscavige COB RTC
From: Alcoboy
Re: wiping one’s posterior
Let me guess; the reason that orgs don’t have toilet paper is because you’ve been hoarding it all. What DO you eat? As for a WTH book, that’s the best use for it.
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
To: David Missed Cabbage
Fm: Balletlady
I stole the damned Way To Happiness books too. As far as reporting “for duty”, you know that I have been disconnected for years….OH HAPPY DAY…that’s the way I FOUND happiness!
NOT BEST WISHES & NO LOVE TO YOU AT ALL
Balletlady
To: Balletlady
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: recent comm particle
I DON’T CARE IF YOU LEFT! YOU BRING THOSE BOOKS BACK NOW!, IF YOU SO MUCH AS WIPED YOUR ASS WITH EVEN ONE PAGE YOU WILL EXPERIENCE THE FULL FURY OF MY WRATH!
ML,
Dave.
To : David Miscavige COB RTC
From: Alcoboy
Re: the full fury of your wrath
You cannot be serious!
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
My dearest darling David M a/k/a shit head: Telegraphed
Said used product packed up & should be arriving shortly.(stop).
I did put some kitty litter in with it & I am sure you know the reason why (stop).
I’ve found a few dozen at throw away garage sales (stop) Lucky Me1.
Sadly I’ve used up all the books I’ve “borrowed” & am on the search for more (stop)
I’ve found a few dozen at throw away garage sales (stop)
Lucky Me1.
Much Hate,
Balletlady
To: Balletlady
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: kitty litter.
THIS IS CROSSING THE LINE! SOILING THE WAY TO HAPPINESS WITH KITTY LITTER IS AN OUTRAGE! I HOPE YOU GO TO TARGET TWO SOMETIME SOON!
AND WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ME A SHITHEAD?
ML,
Dave.
To: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: Target Two.
Target Two?
That’s where most of us want YOU to go! Oh, and ‘shithead’ is the perfect thing to call you.
No love at all,
Alcoboy
“I have worked in the financial and investment industry for over 12 years.”
Great! Doing what, exactly?
It kills me the way these Still Ins hustle each other for high paying jobs, meanwhile listing nothing they can actually DO, no actual skill sets. Just that they completed this or that Scientology course or auditing action or Level.
You’re OT8… great! That and $2.75 will get you on the subway as they say in my area.
What can this woman actually DO besides speak English and Spanish?
And last but not least, if one is being paid a hefty salary working remotely, why should the EMPLOYER’S goals “align” with one’s own personal goals? One is an employEE. As such one’s employer has every right to demand that the employEE’s goal align, at least partially, with those of the business!
I’m telling you these unemployed cultists just kill me. Talk about having an over-appreciation for their own limited talents.
To: Aquamarine
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: questioning celebrity Scientologists
I just read your comm particle and, once again, you have incurred my wrath! Suggesting that a celebrity Scientologist is padding her resume is a High Crime and Misdemeanor! Says who? Says me, that’s who! I don’t care what that tubby said years ago! He has gone on to Target Two which is where I wish you would go! All you do is cast doubt on the Church and it is having a negative effect!
ML,
Dave.
To: David Miscavige COB RTC
From; Alcoboy
Re: doubt on the Church.
Aquamarine! You’re the one who’s causing all these empty orgs and crashing stats?
Way to go, girl!
At least she’s doing something positive, you little wife killer, so leave her alone!
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
That’s an odd choice of photo for Mike and Jeanine Carter. It doesn’t look like Sydney, where AOSH ANZO is. Non sequitur.
BRING YOUR OWN TOPPINGS
TO A NIGHT WITH SOURCE!
111th Birthday
111 Toppings, including:
Bacon “Body Thetan” Bits * Crushed “Cluster” Crackers * Fortune “Teegeeack” Cookies * Froot “Free Wheel” Loops * Frosted “Xenu” Flakes * Gummy “Galactic Confederation” Bears * Health “H Bomb” Crunchies
Enjoy an afternoon of fabulous Free Wheeling, live H Bombs, great Clusters and the company of the entire Galactic Confederation!
To: all of you downstats on this blog.
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: coming to LRH’s birthday do over.
Since attendance at the birthday events celebrating the birth of our dear founder was at non-e, I am delivering an amnesty for all of you SPs and ordering you to attend the make up event which will be held at a place and time determined by me. I expect every single one of you to be there to honor the greatest man who ever lived. Namely, me.
Punishments will be doled out for non-compliance.
ML,
Dave.
To: David Miscavige COB RTC
From: Alcoboy
Re: LRH birthday do over.
You’re bringing enough cake for everybody, right?
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
To: Alcoboy
From: David Miscavige COB RTC
Re: birthday cake.
WILL YOU GET OFF IT ABOUT THAT DAMN CAKE? NO, I AM NOT BRINGING CAKE FOR EVERYBODY!
ML,
Dave.
To: David Miscavige COB RTC
From: Alcoboy
Re: above comm particle.
Cheapskate!
No love at all,
Alcoboy.
The request for a “remote” job opportunity. Sounds like Flag is doing a number on her while she’s there doing “3 Ls”, trying to have her make it go right so she can either join the SO (project prepare stuff) or continue up the Bridge. That’s also hinted at by the “aligns with my purposes” which are clearly Scientolo-illogical.
I love that in the kid’s success story he basically says he already knew how, but now he knows fully. He’s already learned how to make up a reason it was good so he can be done. Well done, Max.
The glowing testimonials about the event actually seem to be more about getting out and among people, a typical extrovert reaction to their first social activities since lockdown.
That Michael Lewis piece reminds me of all the lying-through-their-teeth ads for mobile games promising you’ll get rich playing, can cash out, can make hundreds or thousands of dollars. Piles of pretend cash, stacks of coins. Typical success story, too, where there’s no evidence any of it worked. On just says it “was AWESOME” and the other said it helped shift their viewpoint and made them laugh.
Syncretism: .
The Nation of Islam Supreme Technology Workshop weekly practices Scientology Straightwire group auditing.
https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2048118478589741&id=128162617252013
Again, in the language of the NOI, Supreme Technology refers to Scientology and Dianetics. The Supreme Technology is an adjunct to The Supreme Wisdom set forth in the book of the same name by The Honorable Elijah Muhammad.
Memorialized with a screenshot on ESMBR and Instagram:
https://exscn2.net/threads/syncretism-the-nation-of-islam-supreme-technology-workshop-weekly-practices-scientology-straightwire-group-auditing.4863/
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbx2958PK0-/
/
I wonder if that lady in the Leopard print pants is wearing gold lame shoes? that’s the stereo type I remember.
I a lot of effort for little return. but it does keeps the serfs with their noses to the grindstone.
Just checked the New York Wise Transfer address on Google street view and found the building sign reads Knotstandard. OMG! TOTALLY appropriate don’t you think? I mean there’s NOTHING standard in the cult of lies and deceit is there.
Another great Thursday Funnies. Thanks Mike.
I really have to wonder just how much time was wasted coming up with 111 toppings for ice cream. All this time the “planet is in dire need of clearing!’
Ice cream toppings won’t clear anything. It will, however, cause one’s weight to go up if one eats enough of it.
That is some really dumb stuff right there.
Oh, and come here these two talk about their sex life. Every which way they have turned that got screwed out of money.
The “ice cream social” is often a catered thing (they come with a freezer of a few standard flavors, serve a scoop, and then you head off to a buffet style table with a bunch of bowls of toppings. Highly doubtful some Scn spent the time coming up with toppings. More likely someone had a coupon or been pitched and realized it would be cheaper than other food alternatives.
What amuses me, though, is they’re doing this in April, not August. How many people are rushing out to get ice cream when LA isn’t even hitting 70F?
By the way the photos of the ice cream and toppings is life-size.
Wait a second…celebrity center is having an ice cream bar with 111 toppings? Don’t they know that celebs never touch a carbohydrate? They should have a protein bar or an air bar or a diet pill bar to encourage attendance! It really is like someone from 1985 (or 1984😂) does their fliers and event planning. Serious question..,,do the people inside the Scientology bubble actually think they are helping the planet with these events and all their hard work? It seems so sad that people work, sacrifice and give up their lives with no positive outcome at all. It really breaks my heart for them. Keep plugging along. You have an army of supporters behind you.
Syncretism:
The Nation of Islam Supreme Technology Workshop presents ‘Dianetics in the Quran.”
https://facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3709115085823397&id=128162617252013&m_en
In the language of the NOI, Supreme Technology refers to Scientology and Dianetics. The Supreme Technology is an adjunct to The Supreme Wisdom set forth in the book of the same name by The Honorable Elijah Muhammad.
Memorialized with a screenshot on ESMBR and Instagram:
https://exscn2.net/threads/syncretism-the-nation-of-islam-supreme-technology-workshop-presents-dianetics-in-the-quran.4859/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CbxbIVNroCq/
/
LRH policy has been around for over 60 years and these ijits think some new reissue of them will be the FINAL piece of the “IDEAL” strategy???? I swear Miscavige could sell these guys instant water ( “Just add water”) if he told them it was the next big thing to FINALLY start clearing this place.
*oh, and when does the word “epic” finally go out of style? Sheesh!
**and I don’t for a moment believe that those event “success stories ” are anything but plants written by some management dweeb.
Love that “instant water”!
*Wow, advertising thetanic events with the lure of food for meat bodies…
So much WINNING! OH MY GOD!!!!
You, too, can be a sucrose-jazzed/jizzed operating twerker! Shake that
ass, empty those pockets, and suppress that gag reflex as you give
Cap’n Slappy and LaCrapette Tublard their fellatio salutes!
Don’t delay, debase yourself today!*
I am lucky not to be drinking coffee when I read “thetanic” Mark. My thetan is still laughing.
If someone is rolling in the dough then someone isn’t doing their job. (Gosh, I’m such a cynic.)
👌🤣🤣🤣🤣
If he was rolled in dough, basted with the left over toppings from the Complimentary Ice Cream Bar, then baked in the oven (making sure to leave all the insides there for added texture and crunch) then I pity any cannibals that eat him.
Oohh…unless of course you mean “dough” as in money and not as actual dough.