Back after our Alaska vacation — which was wonderful.
It’s a breathtaking experience, unfortunately no photos do justice to its sheer scope and grandeur.
The Inside Passage
Glacier Bay National Park
There are a few more funnies than usual as it’s 2 weeks worth, so some are a little dated:
Unimpressive Numbers
They really think that 10 OT levels completed in a week is going to accomplish anything? I see only two OTV’s and most are OT IV (which along with OT 1 are the fastest levels). One NOT’s completion per week is not going to get the 10,000 onto or through Solo NOTs for a LOOOONG time.
Mr. Joey Besio — “Like a Pro”
Not actually a pro. Just tries to look like one. The black shirt and white tie is a classy touch.
Look Out Black Colleges and Universities
Scientology is targeting you
Making LRH’s dream a reality in Canada
Greg Capazorio from South Africa is going to tell you how… He didn’t accomplish this in S. Africa so now he is an expert on Canada.
Columbus signing up staff for Chicago
Why? They are small and failing already.
Buffalo org signed up staff for Chicago
Why? They are even smaller and more failing than Columbus!
Some Magic
They are magically being subsidized by the rest of EUS
I wondered about this address as it was not familiar. It is a 950 sf home… Doesn’t really look too magical. Have no clue why they would choose this venue:
Nice certificate…
L. Ron Hubbard Birthday Get Together in July
They’re going to “strategize” how to win the birthday game.
Hot tip: stop recruiting for Chicago and start recruiting for yourselves…
The SPs are working to stop you…
He’s going to ‘splain how to beat them (us).
Bonus: he is also going to tell you how to salvage the planet.
Done Sir!
Brisbane is done??
Nah, they are just preparing for their announcement in 2034.
It’s part of the “gearing up for massive expansion” thing.
Yeah, that makes sense
This guy is apparently FROM Ireland, and it’s so rare they still use the promo for the people who come from other countries as their sales pitch
See, here’s one that makes sense
Though I think they mean to say Word Clearing on her cert. Or is she a “Word Clear” as a consolation for not going Clear on Dianetics?
“The Prayer”
Yeah, because scientologists are really into “praying.”
I think these two need to clay demo Advanced Procedures and Axioms chapter on Full Responsibility. Praying ain’t got nothing to do with it…
LRH’s research on creating the Bridge
Yeah, he pulled it out of his butt and then went back to calling his writing science fiction (this was returning to his roots as an artist)
Special “Webinar”
Learn how much you need to pay to “empower yourself” by taking your next step on the Bridge.
There is absolutely NOTHING special about it.
And another one…
What milestone?
They STILL haven’t completed Adelaide, Brisbane or Canberra?
Kiddie Corner
It’s a “Free BBQ”
But the regges will be circling as you eat your burger
Regges circling here too…
More unimpressive numbers
This is an ideal org getting excited about 12 booklets sold
I require your participation
How to “handle radiation”
You just need to “confront” it.
That they still sell this bs as if it’s true is remarkable
Breathing is vital for a long and happy life
Now that is a hot tip.
And breathing is just like being on staff???
Why blank out his name?
Especially when they ALSO put out a promo piece with his full name?
Using the tech to lose weight…
10 years of research and observation.
And it only takes 22 months…
What it will take to open Chicago Org!
Step one. Get enough people from other locations to have at least one person in each room of the “ideal org.”
Step two. Figure out how the COB can yank his ribbon in Chicago without being served in a lawsuit.
He knows Facsimile One
You don’t want to know….
Another virtual briefing
I bet the revenue thy generate from these things is negligible. But they don’t have money to fly anyone out to do reg briefings any more, so they keep their seniors happy by explaining they are doing a webinar.
Keeping Scientology Working!!
The lost children of scientology — she is going to be on staff for the rest of her life…
Another wasted life
And when, after a year or so, these trainees finally complete and return to their orgs and nothing at all changes, there will be a new “absolute game changer.”
And another…
Thanks COB.
WTH is on TikTok
How trendy!
But they are using Facebook to promote it??
What is with these weird self-help-style seminars? I thought Scientologists only did auditing and courses to go up the bridge, and these cheesy seminars don’t seem to be courses. Would LRH have approved? Idk, maybe yes, if they make money.
Welcome back, Mike!
And, ooh those photos look nice.
Very nice!
We’re havin’ a heat wave here, so yes, very nice, those cool, expansive blues…
Ok to the funnies:
Clyde Batton looks like a kind, decent, well meaning, older man.
His smile is sincere.
He looks to me like he doesn’t have much money and has a purpose to help people.
Look, I don’t KNOW him and I could be TOTALLY wrong about his character but this is what he projects – to ME, so I’m sharing it.
Like I said, his smile is sincere, but whatbothers me is he has a tooth missing, right in front.
And I am QUITE sure – I mean, if I had a lot of money, which I don’t, but if I DID, I’d bet a LOT of it on his having foregone necessary dental work, and instead donated the money to the IAS , or to Ideal Morgues or some other disgusting Scientology Grift.
Yo Clyde:
Next time you save up some money, DON’T give to the cult.
Give it to the dentist.
Get your teeth fixed.
You’re a nice man.
You deserve teeth.
Get an implant or a bridge in front.
And whatever molars you may be missing in the back.
Which I suspect are at least 4.
Dental health is important, Clyde.
The cult has billions.
They don’t need your money.
Sincerely,
Aqua
Every time I see Kiddies Corner, I feel like someone just walked over my grave.
Someone please help Callie Daly. The Riverpark mission looks absolutely depressing, and she looks like a prisoner being paraded in front of the camera.
Wow. great photos of Alaska! It is so beautiful up there. These funnies are just that! Funny! I can’t believe I ever believed them. I would see 6 people show up for a lecture and still believe there were millions of scinos based on this kind of bs promo. Cognitive dissonance!
There are two Method One Word Clears in this post.
Adelaide org ain’t shit. Brisbane org ain’t shit. Two of the shittiest, most-failing orgs in ANZO. Their names were always dirt.
Just send out a “Quit Fast” Club mailing to all of Flag’s CF list.
Just quote LRH in KSW #1.
“If they are going to quit let them quit fast.” L. Ron Hubbard
Let the receivers of the mailing just puzzle over what that mailing is supposed to mean. Some will get the joke, and take it seriously, and quit fast.
Or, “Use Xenu to Quit Fast”.
As a member of the “Quit Fast” Club, use Xenu and body-thetans when talking to Scientologists, and let them dead file you, and thus achieve the goal of the “Quit Fast” Club to quit fast.
This is hilarious! Great idea. Well done, Chuck!
The Magic of Chicago event is being held at an apartment over a three car garage. It’s on the property of a fairly nice house located on a busy four-lane divided highway. An overhead view shows the real reason they chose that locale – the big driveway. There’s parking for about ten cars, which means an expected crowd of ten to twenty. Wow. What a magical event.
Think about it – two speakers, and enough room to crowd in a dozen or so folding chairs. Whoopie.
Be sure to wear strong deodorant.
2 things pop into my head while reading these funnies. The first is that every time I see ‘salvaging’ I read it at ‘savaging’ the planet. I’d call it a Freudian slip (just to p them off) but it’s really just correcting their misspelling! The second is, as a C-bus native, I’d like to give Clyde the number of a good dentist!
The “sunburn “ is not radiation leaving the body. It is the flush brought on by the niacin. The flush may even appear more visibly in areas where the skin is damaged by sunburn.
Columbus was made responsible for Chicago expansion since there are so many SO Members there, of course they can take on more responsibility. 🙄
I agree. I did the Purif twice. The first time, my body was flushed – a very deep red – in a pattern conforming to a 2 piece bathing suit (not a bikini, one of those modest 2 pieces we wore back in the day) I wore the summer when I was fifteen. In that electric blue 2 piece I got what would turn out to be the absolute worst sunburn of my life. Agony. I’m very pale and should never have baked in the sun like that, but back then who knew? I loved the beach and swimming but the sun did not love me. Nineteen years later this deep red sunburn showed up in the precise pattern on my body in the Purif of that old fashioned 2 piece. Amazing! The sun damage was still there!
Welcome back, Mike. Beautiful photos. Pleasant memories!
Welcome back!
Some info I’ll add about the admin training program. It was originally pushed as only going to take a few months, then six months, then eight months. Many of the teams that arrived early have now been there close to a year and while some might be getting close to being done, none have finished yet. I think many of the teams that have it more together are starting to think with it taking a year and a half to two years. And that’s the teams that are doing better. The teams that have slow students are all of a sudden looking at the training program taking 3-4 years. Because they all have to fire as a team they are only as fast as the slowest member. Slow students falling behind TM has already started to cause problems for some teams and I only see it getting worse as time goes on. I’m sure many people only went with the understanding that the program wouldn’t be that long, now faced with the reality of being at Flag for 3-4 years… I’m not sure how they’ll handle it. It is sad to see these younger staff members getting sucked into this. You also have to know that if they make it through the program it will be virtually impossible for them to ever route off staff. I expect Tampa to be the first team done with the admin training.
One other thing I’ve heard that explains why we see all this push for Chicago and not so much for Austin. Austin is only going to open when they have all their people through the admin training. There are different “tiers” and the 11 or so that orgs have been sending is only the first tier, there are something like 6 tiers of posts that are supposed to do various amounts of the admin training. Austin will only open once they have all of that training done, instead of just the first tier. So Austin will be awhile, it means they can focus 100% on Chicago and then they will have a long runway to recruit people before Austin opens.
I’m reminded of, while I was on staff, having a C/S in training at Flag (GAT era) and a couple of exec sent to LA for the OEC/FEBC course (which is probably the exact same thing as the current admin training, but different because it’s “Golden Age”).
None were given realistic time estimates going in. Even though all were allegedly full-time students, it took years for them to make it back, and I’m not even sure the C/S-trainee ever did return.
Yeah, some of those trainees at Flag were there for years. I think I heard of some who took close to 10 years. I couldn’t imagine spending years as an OOT, sounds like hell. Flag gets people arrived and promises they’ll be fast, then they end up stuck there. It’s not like the trainee can do anything, complaining will just get them in trouble, and in Scientology fashion it’s their own fault when they aren’t making their TM, it isn’t Flags fault, even though no one got done in TM.
The classic joke at the Int Base was “How long did they tell you you would be here?” Usually it would get a rueful grin and an answer like “Two weeks” or “One month”. This from a grizzled old vet who was stuck on the Base for decades. Just about everyone had a similar story.
I was supposed to be there for 6 weeks, turned out to be twenty years. I’d still be there if I hadn’t escaped.
“Once you get started you can’t slow down”, ALL NIGHT LONG by Lionel Ritchie, theme song of the Int Base.
20 years is a bit worse than anything an OOT went through. But these OOTs are also Class V staff, they aren’t SO members who have dedicated their whole life. I’m sure many of them had jobs, family, etc. waiting for them back home.
I’m not sure what Scientology’s aberration is regarding time, but they can never get things done fast or on schedule.
Austin will NEVER reopen. The main building on Guadalupe by UT’s campus sits empty. The added a floor to this wildly expensive real estate, but the only people they were luring in were college kids having a laugh, holding the tomato cans for a free sandwich. It’s been “closed for renovations” forever now. Their other building is in a run down strip mall on Hancock Blvd. Their signage at that one is a faded vinyl banner. Occasionally you’ll see a bored staffer moping around, but there isn’t jack near the strip mall except a plant nursery and a cemetery. If they have a grand opening, it’s SO members shipped in from the last dive they pushed. Austin is PROHIBITIVELY expensive, so I can’t even fathom the rathole accommodations they’ll be in.
I have my tree nursery in Uganda, with a lot of open land around. The are a lot of tree for the e meter!!!!
Austin is no different from many other small failing orgs that have opened as Ideal. Nashville, Dallas, Columbus, Miami, SLC, etc. These were all small failing orgs, and they still are, but they did “go ideal”. Austin will open when Scientology (DM) decides it’s time for it to open. This admin training adds a new twist but I don’t think it changes anything.
She’s going to sing while he paints something fast that looks unrecognizable until she’s finished and he turns it over to reveal it’s something inspirational.
A drawing of a $100.00 note?
Welcome back!
The Prayer isn’t what they’re performing. Apparently it is a painting by Alex Righetto that they believe is well enough known people would know him as the artist “of The Prayer”. No clue what sort of actual performance together will come of an ‘artist’ (Righetto) and a ‘singer / actress’ (Francis).
That’s quite a few pieces making it sound like Chicago is coming up close on opening its “Ideal” org. That first guy recruited, though, will he live long enough? It’s not like they got someone new. They admit he is “long time staff”, so at best they sniped him just as his previous contract was ending with promises that Chicago going ideal would be so much better an experience.
I feel so sad for those poor kids. May their servitude be completed quickly so they can get on with living life instead of someone else’s nightmares.
OT used to mean Off Topic.
No photograph can do any vacation justice. (That’s just my opinion.)
I have always wanted to do a cruise to Alaska. Such a beautiful place where man has not totally destroyed it yet. Still places for the wild life to flourish!
One of the things I have come to realize about the folks who just have to tell you how great they are. Normally, they ain’t so great. Know hat I mean? Arnold Palmer didn’t have to tell you how great of a golfer he was. Tom Brady doesn’t have to tell people how great of a Quarterback he is.
If you have to tell how great you are or how many great things you are doing, well, you ain’t so great and the things you are doing ain’t so great. If they were, we would know, things would change, people outside of your organization/cult would realize how great you were and jump to become a part of it.
Not so much in this case.
Horus Msemaje who is trying to grift to get ‘Study Tech’ into Historic Black Colleges and University’s gave the whole thing away with his last paragraph and especially his last sentence. If you haven’t done ‘Study Tech’ (for the 10th time) and want to do it be sure to add him as your FSM. Send him an email and he will send the Org a selection slip. The last sentence gives it all away….what are they using the FSM $’s for? Why to help old Horus and pals (which is really probably just Horus) move up the bridge.
Grifters keep on grifting. I can promise Horus that he will NEVER get study tech into any college or university. Of course to Scientology handing out leaflets at a university IS technically ‘getting the tech into’ the university. Sad.
I HOPE that they don’t get ‘study tech’™ into those colleges or there will be a generation of college students who never again can enjoy reading just for the enjoyment.
Appropriate for that garbage is to go directly into the school’s dumpsters – – Hey, the trash got TO the school, right?
I maintain that ‘study tech’™ was Ron’s attempt to PUNISH those of us who could read and understand just fine in school.
Can a WTH book be recycled?
If it’s not printed on slick paper you could use it to line the bottom of a budgie cage or use it as a fire lighter.
Back in my parent’s day, before slick catalogs, Sears catalogs would be repurposed in the outhouse. In these fraught times of toilet paper shortages, WTH pamphlets can be repurposed too, but they raise hell with modern plumbing systems. For what it’s worth, the old saying “rough as a COB” came from using dried corn cobs to take care of business. Not the way COB is known for being rough and tough but if the shoe fits…