The Thursday Funnies are back with a vengeance! We’ve got some great stuff this week…
Things are really gearing up. You’d better be ready for the greatest expansion ever that is just over the horizon….
For 70+ years now, the mantra has been that the promises made are now finally going to come true. And this time it’s for real. Your faith (and money) will finally pay off. You have to wonder how long they can keep the confidence game going. It’s worked for this long — and there is no sign they are slowing down with their pitch.
We’re expanding like never before!
One contract re-signed (actually no expansion at all) and they’re Clearing the Planet!
Get ready!
Don’t mention scientology…
Why would an Advanced Org be doing this? Where are the Joburg, Joburg N and Pretoria ideal orgs?
This is just weird
Literally anything written by Hubbard will handle anything and everything. The Art Series will handle your dynamics?
A life is a terrible thing to waste
He joined staff because his parents are on staff…. How utterly sad.
They must have another source of income because he is definitely eating.
Stacey Francis in the house
She shows up anywhere they will give her a mic
Free dinner
If you will listen to the Call Center Director, apparently the biggest name they could get.
It’s an old trick
Do an extension course to avoid having to go into the org. This is probably half the public of the Chicago org.
This is painful
The total just creeps along and they promote it like it’s good news!
You do know what LRH said about “marihuana” don’t you?
“It’s is not only less physically harmful [than alcohol] but also better in the action of keeping a neurotic producing.” DMSMH
This is not at all weird….
Easter brought to you by the people who believe the man on the cross is an implant.
Even weirder?
Easter = Alice in Wonderland?? The Easter bunny is the Mad Hatter…
These are the people who claim they respect the beliefs of all religions.
World changing?
Erm, just one example please…
Free food
Got to try to get them to show up somehow. And to boot, it’s a “Flag style menu” whatever that means? Wonder if it’s ideal?
Yeah, right…
Held in conjunction with the International Jewish Appreciation Summit by the American Nazi Party
The heat is coming back!
Generated just by standing next to Dear Leader because he radiates so much theta power
Another ideal org definitely clearing their entire country…
Shopping Mall excursions…
Oreo cookie day. Karaoke. Peanut Butter Lovers Day.
Oh, what has become of the Mecca of Technical Perfection.
Too little too late…
52 years on staff…
And absolutely nothing to show for it? New Zealand is further from being a cleared nation than it was 52 years ago…
They’ve got Watermelon Lemonade!
And a whole bunch of other food stuff.
They’ve got the Oscars thing going.
And oh yeah, graduation.
No free food in PAC
Plymouth’s time is never…
They have been going nowhere for decades. Carol Nolan isn’t going to change anything.
Best Imitation Ron Cake award
Just one question
Who the hell is he?
Honk if you think scientology is a cult…
They’re just launching this?
I thought they had been undergoing unprecedented expansion for the last 20 years?
Now they tell us they are about to start? What have they been waiting for?
Great to see Thursday Funnies again.
THANKS!!!😊😊😊
i find these posters depressing. lol. they sound and look like it should be such a good time with friends and good food to celebrate 🎉. in reality they are bringing you there to pressure the shite out of you to pay or join staff. cognitive dissonance for lunch and dinner. ugh
Oh yes, I forgot to mention the glassdoor interview comment that had this line:
“They send you a 200 question assessment that has nothing to do with their job posting that takes an hour to do.”
Gee, could it be the 200 question assessment that $camatology uses to trick you?
Manuel Suarez. Who is he? For starters:
Author – One book which you can buy for 99 cents https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B0C37M7GSN/about
https://www.amazon.com/Marketing-Magic-produced-followers-advertising-ebook/dp/B0CC6CT29H/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=B5XwU&content-id=amzn1.sym.cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_p=cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_r=138-1211242-0126700&pd_rd_wg=TrkfN&pd_rd_r=87a8942a-012d-4e7b-a3ae-d4355308405b&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk
I call bullshit on this scamatology wanker. He looks like a cheap version of his mate Grunt Carbone.
Have a look at his business page –
https://agmagency.com/
Then go to the testiclemo…oops, testimonial page and see all the long time hard core $camatologists that think he’s great. After looking at his facebook page all I am left feeling is that he’s a grifter (pretty typical for a $camatologist of his calibre). Worth supposedly $250.000.000? That I definitely call bs, because if he was Demento would be trying hard to bleed him dry. I can’t find anything credible, let alone existence, about him and his company anywhere outside of $camatolgy circles and lots of self promotion.
They sound like your run of the mill $camatology company –
https://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/Attention-Grabbing-Media-Reviews-E2866646.htm
Nothing says Easter like challah and blintzes!
Ah, the circus! Same ol clowns strutting around with the same ol gags and painted faces.
In all those decades it still goes unnoticed within the shrinking bubble of Scientology, Hubbard’s standard tech doesn’t work, has never worked and will never work, simply because no one, not even Hubbard could understand the enormity of 25 million words of gibberish that Scientology markets.
Any attempt to understand Hubbard’s word salad is an endless road to nowhere and they house the contradictory delusion in pretty buildings and call it Ideal! (and the ticket price to that circus costs you everything, including your sanity if you believe it will ever set you free).
Great to see Thursday Funnies back!! Always entertaining!
Thanks for bringing back the funnies!! I always get a gas out if seeing the “fluff” sent to the flock. I’m going on eight years out, after about thirty years in, and these seem even sillier than ever. So much cognitive dissonance now going on in their world. The Internet is more dangerous for them than ever, slow openings and expansion, protests. I’m not surprised that it’s still the same dull message.
I really needed the Funnies today. It also gives me hope that Regarded Being will return.
I’m surprised Jim Wannop was allowed to use that photo of himself with COB, since it’s clear that Jim is at least a foot taller! Usually the pics with COB use a lot of forced perspective so he doesn’t look quite as short.
He is still standing well in front of him!! 😂
Ian in San Francisco says Scientology is expanding there, just like his guitar is.
Same old, same old sh*t but with food thrown in. When I was ‘in’ (as ‘serving my prison sentence), I don’t remember the promo with any food in it. Hey…if food gets ’em in, put food in the promo!
Behind these colorful ads are people who are under extreme pressure, ethics conditions if they don’t achieve their mission targets, disgrace if they fail…and they will fail because the goals will not be accomplished.
Same old, same old sh*t.
So thrilled to see that Thrusday Funnies are back! These always seem to make me laugh and make me question everything in Scientology more.
All the Easter stuff/activities. You notice there is absolutely ZERO religious references. Just like at Christmas, it’s all the commercial aspects of the holiday on display. Santa, Easter Bunny, Fairies, elves, eggs, chicks, etc., etc., etc.
Hi
I have to remind myself that scientology has become a small cult of families, keeping their own members inside scio. I really can only imagine one group, going into COS, these days, people who have not heard, about COS.
Maybe we are talking about rich people, from poor countries. The scientology press coverage, is not wild, where I live, in scandinavia. Maybe rich hispanics, africans join.
The fact that COS is now, a collection, of old scientology families, also means that the christian influence that is prevalent, in america, and europe fx, has not been seen by these people.
Nothing wrong with this, but had I never heard of Christianity, and the time was pre-internet, I might consider going into an organization. Not now, clearly.
In fact, I did this, and was a scientologist, for 1 day, then they creeped me out.
By the way, I just saw that some new infighting has started, over in youtube land, now that many of the channels, are losing viewers, since there is nothing more, you can say about grown up anti scientology. Great to see:)
Kind regards
Kim
This was so very well said. It seems like now the “Cult” of Scientology is comprised of families that have been in for many years. The youth of Scientology are the up and coming generations.
I completely agree with what you said about people who join now obviously have no idea what they’re getting into. If they did they would surely know to stay clear! I have some stories I wish I could share with you right now but, I would rather not do that publicly. I myself am a Christian and it is so hard for me to wrap my head around such an abusive, corrupt, and manipulative organization calling themselves a religion. Unbelievable.
Anyways, I do pray that this cult goes down and I pray families can reunite and heal.
Hope you have a blessed day Kim and all who are enjoying Mike’s blog.
Maya. Thx for the kind words, have a Nice weekend. Kind regards Kim
Both Easter (Ēostre, Ôstara) and Christmas (Sol Invictus, Saturnalia) were pagan festivals long before the christians came to Europe and appropriated them.
Absolutely right!
And as regards Eostre, she was a Norse pagan goddess who ruled over the rebirth and regrowth of all of all life in the spring. In medielvall Briton and elsewhere the Saxons worshipped her and dyed eggs to honor her, eggs that symbolized fertility of course, and oh, last but not least, this goddess had a “familiar”, and guess what little animal that was always pictured near her? Hint: its frequently white, has pink eyes, and reproduces a LOT 🙂
As is Christmas, Easter is a lovely holiday and I enjoy it but honestly its roots have NOTHING to do with Christianity. Pagans were coloring eggs long before Christianity co-opted the practice to advance its own agenda.
Fascinating stuff! I think so, anyway.
I am a Christian and Easter for us has nothing to do with bunnies, eggs etc.. We just do that for the children to have fun. Easter is about the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That is the truth of what we celebrate. Lots of love and many blessings. ❤
Hi
Yeah, practically speaking light, and darkness, warm, and cold Weather, plus nature, became pagan holidays. The fact is that scandinavians, fx, are pagans, who use the church, for weddings, and funerals, just like scientology uses holidays, to connect Hubbard with wog worlds holy days. We all know that COS finds Jesus, fx, to be a joke. Kind regards Kim
They are only “holy days” for a minority of people. For most, Christmas and Easter are cultural festivities – not religious. I’ve never understood why some folk have such beef with the CoS for hosting an Xmas feast or an Easter egg hunt. Christianity has no monopoly over these dates – or their significance – especially considering their origins.
I’ll add one thing even if it’s slightly off-topic.
Recently, I came across a series of scientific articles about meditation and yoga, where they demonstrate through scientific examinations how these practices are beneficial. Never have we heard anything similar regarding clears and OTs.
The only “certain evidence” is hubbard’s words that he verified and certified using “reliable electronic systems” (EMeter Mark V?), and therefore, other evidence is not needed. Well, maybe they could try, and so a clear and an OT could shock scientists and demonstrate the functionality of scn.
Thank you Mike for bringing back the Thursday Funnies. It’s almost embarrassing to see that as “good news” of expansion, they show guys resigning a contract for another 2 and a half years. It’s clear they have nothing left to say and they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel using a magnifying glass.
When I was a kid, my friends and I used to smoke weed, then we stopped to avoid ending up in something worse, and right after we all ended up in scn. Maybe it was better to keep smoking weed.
They’re always announcing to stay alert that now they’re really starting to expand. In their heads, they must have a noisy colony of howler monkeys hidden in the fog not letting them see they’ve been in the same loop for decades.
I have been missing them Funnies. Thanks!
Re Chicago:
They are an ideal morgue now. Today’s news covers the protests quite nicely:
https://blockclubchicago.org/2024/03/07/scientology-church-opens-in-south-loop-raising-concerns-of-columbia-college-students-living-next-door/
They had previously promoted Chicago would have 138 staff. I count about 70 in the photo. Usual exaggeration. Same as with the 2,000 attendees they claim – when there were about 300.
The poor souls inside that morgue are now totally under pressure. Their FEBC team is expected to boom the place within a couple of weeks. Failure means immediate recall to Flag at their own expense. Well, perhaps that will teach them that not everything is as they expected and they’ll split.
Right. From what I know from past experience, there should still be at least two or more missions from the Sea Org in the org. And they will be there day and night with the whip in hand to make sure everything goes as it should because DM is watching.
However, if this doesn’t go well, i.e., if the org remains stuck (which is quite possible), even before the FEBC guys, the missions would be recalled and for them, it would be a tragic end. Literally.
“… because DM is watching…”
Yes, that’s what I would have thought too. Watching how Chicago is doing would be the logical thing to do – for you and me. But having read Mike’s series on Sociopathy I now think that Miscavige doesn’t give a hoot of what’s happening next in this new morgue. His goal was to collect as many $’s as possible, spend some of it on the purchase and renovation of the building and that’s it. End of cycle. What’s happening next is up to others. That they won’t succeed does not bother him one bit. In his mind he’s got other better and bigger things to do. Like when and how to fly to Paris and with who.
In the end, I think it’s just as you say. There are now so many “ideals” that have become failures that he doesn’t even bother to look back anymore. He only thinks about the next one to give the forced impression that everything is fine.
Golden ages of various kinds, ideal morgues, he becoming the scn “I’ll clear the planet by myself” one-man show, etc., all failures, one after the other. In my opinion, people are now aware of it and no longer participate. Veda wrote that there were few hundred people, an embarrassing misery considering they’re in the US.
Sunday was a nightmare. Chicago is a city that really cares about human rights, labour rights, disability accessibility, lgbtqia+ and racial equality; egalitarianism, etc. By violating the permit and prioritizing the Co$’s interests, all they really did was piss off the residents. And there was so much chaos. Arresting an elderly man on the autism spectrum, assaulting a legally blind student trying to leave the Dwight, making a student with MS walk two extra city blocks, and just the general unfriendliness towards the locals. I also felt terrible about how some of the protesters were treating the event staff and parishioners, it was just kind of ugly all-around. And there were only a few hundred people… it was no where near two thousand.
But Chicago has always been a refuge for the less fortunate and people seeking freedom. A homophobic human trafficking MLM mob “where the able can prosper” isn’t going to do well here. Hubbard was a sick sack of shit, and playing his “game” turns YOU into the punchline.
Are you listening, Dave? The world is laughing at you. Only stupid people think that it’s cool to be evil. The most baller thing that you could ever do is be a hero.
They’re not winning any new converts by pissing off the students that live next door to the org; I wonder if any of the staff will start to see that.