This is “All New” because “The Time Is Now”
Sounds like the same old, same old to me… I would love to know what is “all new” about this? “We just pronounced it all new, so it is”? Sort of like the 25 anniversary of the Freewinds?
And I would love to hear how GAT II has made building ideal orgs faster and more certain than ever!
Must be why Orlando, Boston and Santa Barbara have taken off like rockets, heading for Target Two…
Seems a little contradictory that ONLY an ideal org can properly deliver GAT II?
Keep Those Cards and Letters Coming
Some truly bizarre recent letters:
Paul Schroer was once in RTC (formerly in the GO). He was married to Lisa Schroer, former CO Gold, now paid off ex-SO afraid to talk. He is now apparently a recruiter for PAC Estates. It doesn’t get much lower than that.
This letter was received last week. It is not on letterhead, just a piece of plain white paper. The person’s name was misspelled and then typed over. The grammar is atrocious, but the real stunner in here is the simple declarative sentence: “This is a recruit letter.”
What a sales pitch! He needs to attend one of Gaving Potter’s closing seminars. Or listen to Quinn the Eskimo explaining how to get Bart Simpson to join the team.
And then there is this one from “OT, Staff, Cool.”
Should perhaps more appropriately be signed “Marc. Unreal”
From: MarcB Registrar <la.day.theta@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Aug 22, 2014 at 2:39 PM
Subject: Helping People…Just Never Gets…….. : ))
To: MarcB Registrar <la.day.theta@gmail.com>Let’s face it that’s one thing that just really never ever gets old! : )
And now’s the best time in the history of everything to help any and everyone.
And…um…the Planet is not quite Clear yet so….
Why not just help someone and get them to come into the Org : )
Yaaaay!
And…if you need help–helping….let me know. : )
I just love helping! It never gets old.
Marc
OT, Staff, Cool
Pat Parody is Back!
We have been missing Pat while he labored away through his Objectives. He is probably learning study tech for the first time on the “Golden Age Student Hat” but managed to squeeze in a little time to promote Flag’s new “Command Intention (you know the top of the Org Board)” wink wink video and a lower priced hotel and it even has a pool! OMG.
Remember folks, he makes a living out of suckering people into giving money to scientology. So, he IS going to be at the event.
His style just cracks me up. I wonder if he has ever read about “Glutz PR”? That first para is a killer.
Date: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 13:32:12
From: pat parodi <parodi2000@att.net>
To:
Subject: Are you going to be at the Flag World Tour Event this Saturday night?
Hello to you! Now, I am not sure-maybe you have and then, maybe you have not heard that the Flag World Tour is back in Los Angeles? You probably recall that the Flag World Tour was here in early June, right? So, what the hell, why are they back now????
Ok, it is very simple; a totally brand new, never-before-seen Flag World Tour Video has been produced and Los Angeles is going to be its first screening! It is Command Intention (you know, the top of the Org Board) that this new video was produced and now that we have it, it is Command Intention that everyone come, see the Event, watch the video and be totally in the know on what is going on at Flag.
Did you know that the “Coachman” Building was totally gutted, renovated and is now “Central Qual” for all Flag Staff Training and Auditing and Enhancement? You have to see this building-it is amazing! Did you know that the old “Travel Lodge” hotel was recently gutted, renovated and was re-opened and Flag now has a second lower-priced Hotel, totally theta, completely new and there is even a pool? Again, you simply have to see this new Hotel!
This is just a bit of the news from Flag, news you may not have had and so I am giving you two reasons to attend the Flag World Tour event. Flag is our Spiritual Headquarter, it is our Vatican City! Whether you are Flag public or not, regardless of if you plan on going to Flag soon or down the road–you need to know the latest from “OT Central”!
So please, respond to this email, let me know you are going to attend and who will come with you and please, help me to spread the word about this World Tour Event. This is not some gimmick. The expansion at Flag impacts all of Scientology and Flag is expanding like you would never believe, ever since the release of Super Power, Cause Resurgence RD and the new Delivery Building-it just keeps going!
Attend the Flag World Tour Event this Saturday night, it starts at 7pm and is being held in the Bonaventure Hotel. I am going!
Much love,
Pat
Nice Super Chicken and a Brick
We rarely hear ANYTHING from France.
No news other than the media.
But here we have the org in Nice (I assume this was the org that was for many years in St Etienne moved to Nice as there is no mention of any org in St Etienne on scientology.org these days).
Boy, those chickens have some very “french” ideas:
To reach a goal it requires more than overcoming barriers – it requires an “esoteric phenomenon.”?
But the secret of their success is revealed shortly thereafter. “Victories against the oppressor and the middle class.”
The middle class? Don’t look now Caroline, but they are your public.
Or is this just something lost in translation and you really mean “PTS to the middle class” as in the effort to accumulate wealth and property? Don’t look now Caroline, but that is what you and your Super Chicken are doing….
Bowles Does Bogota
IAS celebrity, ex-scientology in house lawyer and husband to breathless ED Pasadena Idle Org, Tim Bowles is jetting in to Bogota to give them some hype about how their ideal building is going to be done soon and the Clearing of Colombia will begin.
Wise Guy
Here is some WISE brilliance. Something nobody asked for, and when you see this, you’ll know why.
He is answering a hypothetical question from a business owner with an “LRH quote” and this guy really knows how to pick ’em.
First, it is specifically about “Scientology prospects” (who said scientology is money oriented?) and goes on about BOOKSALES.
How many businesses do you think are based on BOOKS written by their founder? Exactly NONE.
This is an expert in “admin tech.”
| Expansion FAQs is a new publication by the Charter Committee Los Angeles. You can submit your questions to be answered by our panel of members. |
 Question: Where does the bulk of my income come from?Answer: “WORD OF MOUTH“Almost all Scientology prospects come from people who have had service who are urging other people to have service or read books on the subject. That is called WORD OF MOUTH. Word of mouth comes from having numerous people in the field who are happy and cheerful and satisfied with their service and who are active in the fields of Dianetics and Scientology. This is where the bulk of your income comes from.” – LRH”GOODWILL” PR Series 41 HCOTM PL 7 April 1983RNow it is your job to align with people and businesses who can tell others of your great services! For example, a custom cabinet maker would create a field of interior designers who are very pleased with his work.John Roussel – Charter Committee Los Angeles Member |
| Submit Your QuestionTo submit your question to be answered in a future edition, please email your question to info@chartercommitteela.org |
As a lover of rock and blues, and a great appreciator of the tribute bands who work so hard to get it RIGHT, jeez……! That thing SUCKED! I’m putting out the goldenrod assigning them to the Bottom of the Kitty Box Indefinitely and Longer.
A bOrg in Nice, eh? I wonder if they think they can dig themselves out of the negative PR hole that Jean-Jacques M left them in being found guilty of manslaughter (all the way up to the French Supreme Court) of Patrice VIC.
I’ve seen the Marseille shop and it was laughable. Probably only three clams in it, and two of them went to have a cigarette break across the street while two of us were protesting in front of it…
Pat Parody states “This is not some gimmick”, hmmm, I find it interesting that he would even make such a comment.
Hey, Pat are you paranoid about the truth spreading on the internet?
What I like most is in the Paul Schroer letter the “PS:mt”. So this guy is sitting there at PAC-estates and writing one of his Hubbard-ordered-weekly-nonsense letters – wait: not he himself is writing the letters, he even has a typist (“mt”) to do (t)his job. That could be a reason to think about joining staff: no more wasted time for writing Hubbard-ordered-nonsense-letters. BTW, I knew a clever staff member who wrote his letters with carbon-paper (it was in the early 80´s), to be faster with fulfilling his weekly letter-target….
Uncover. ..very good observation.
Letter targets. Wow. Brings back memories…
In 1973-4 I typed “RA:ms”, which was Robert Almblad and the ms was “my self”. Ha.
Also, as the HAS of AOSHEU, (in the 70’s time frame) I started mis-counting letters to higher and higher numbers the later it got after 10:00 PM. Especially for auditors and those with family. My justification for this “mis-count” was that it allowed these worn-out staff to go home and saved wasted stamps on sleepy nonsensical letters.
That sort of compassion no longer exists in the SO. It has been replaced by DMs cold, hard, chrome steel: make your target or die.
How well is that working DM?
Nah, you just make it look like a typist is doing your job. I was VL:mf – mf was MY FINGERS, mt is MYSELF TYPING, mm Is ME MYSELF tm is TYPED MYSELF, etc. etc. It’s one of the Acceptable Truths staff are told to tell.
Pat Parodi is, like, soooo totally awesome!!! It’s so totally like he says:
“…a totally brand new, … and be totally in the know … “Coachman” … was totally gutted, renovated and is… a …, totally theta …!
…! …!
”
I am soo totally going to just, like, be there!!!
You’re, like, so totally Californian!! 😀
When “promotion” for “new” money gets this far out of step with “reality”, it just means they are cannibalizing themselves.
The “end days” are upon Miscavige’s Scientology. For, as the 4th horse of the Apocalypse said: “when they speaketh only unto themselves, then even the horses know the end is near.”
Thus Spoke Zarathustra…well, sort of.
About the note “If you had any friends in the Sea Org and told you about it”
Daaaah, does that include Debbie Cook ?
Another bright idea (I’m full of them) on IDEAL ORGs
after the Mormons take over managing them as rental offices FOOD COURTS
and STARBUCKS are put in.!!! with ice cream snow cone and slurpee counters.
Mormons get rich, Scientology can operate with NO PUBLIC —D.M. can fleece the loyal from massive tents ! which he already does with all the stage props already done.
I have more but I have a phone call from the Gotti / Gambino Family , later.
Damn, Jose, that line alone screams “Don’t join!”
What an idiot.
These are cringe-worthy, and some are funny in the sense of laughter is rejection. But they are also too much like watching someone you know succumb to Alzheimer’s.
I was listening to Anthony Bourdain talk about short man with big egos and how “tyranical” and corrupt they become. He was talking about Putin. It made me think of my beloved Dear Leader MissCabagge
Pat Parody, use the title “C.I.” to more accurately and easily refer to the “top of the org board”. [“C.I.” in scientologese stands for “counter intention” e.g. “don’t be C.I. to getting their money, the can mortgage their house again!” or “If you implement GAT II and your org’s income doesn’t explode you have CI in your midst that you need to find and get OFF the lines or you’re CI!!”] And so it is that the “top of the org board” the infil-traitor himself who has hijacked the title of “Command Intention” should no longer be called c.o.b. but CI. Much more suitable. E.g. Mr. CI, david miscavige, has ordered all delivery to be done in the new SP building where the SP rundowns are delivered. Yeah.
To date I have chuckled over some funny Funnies, but OMG, these guys – MarcB OT Cool, Pat Parodi, that over-the-top French Poulet picture – Hall of Fame, IMO.
yeah, I am not too proud of being French right now. What are they thinking…!
Marie,
S’il vous plait, ne vous inquietez pas.
Dressing up in chicken outfits is so NOT a French thing.
And, it would please me to also completely rule out it being an American thing, but I can’t be 100% about that 🙂
Marc Bosserman is now the registrar? Wow. He was a senior exec for years (D/FBO I think). I am aghast at the quality of his email. He was once an awesome word clearer. Guess OT VII messed with his head. So sad.
Goodness. This may sound strange but having grown up in a French family, I sort of understand that one. There is a lost in translation problem, not that it would help the delusion. Regarding the video, it is plain that they think they are sacrificing their lives for the greater good. This lifetime’s well being doesn’t matter, because they are the vanguard of causativeness, that is, saving the world by buying a building. I had OT VIII “friends” who overused their home as a slush fund, for auditing and then lost it in bankruptcy. They never actually paid for the auditing, but I guess the concept of “out exchange” is old and not used any more. They were proud that they finagled their money and thought ANYTHING was acceptable to get their bridges done. This is in sharp contrast to when I did OT levels in the early 80s where, financial irregularities were often treated as an out ethics situation. Not always of course, there were plenty of shenanigans, but not to the extent of condoned, screwing over every other aspect of your life. These people are auditing over heavy, present time problems, which is well known to cause no case gain. Their unyielding trust in command intention is guiding their actions, because cob is channeling LRH and Frank Sinatra at the same time, so that makes it ok. I’m sure a few family members are doing without who didn’t agree to all this. I put 2 kids through the public school system and they had great, ongoing lessons for the kids, about peer pressure and how one can get roped into things, unwittingly. These Atlanta people need to go back to the 5th grade. The singing was horribly off pitch which added to the nails on a blackboard effect.
Even the thought of Miscavige channeling Frank Sinatra is simply AN OUTRAGE!!! (Francis Albert is of course the TRUE Chairman of the Board.)
Roger that! 🙂
Totally, Joe P. The nerve of Makemerich to presume to this title! Could it be that he is a closet, ‘Ole Blue Eyes wannabe, you know, because of his own very blue eyes? This is a wild theory of mine, btw.
He’s obsessed with this color. Blue is everywhere. Della Robia blue, to be exact. Always featured prominently in the embarrassing, faux/ornate, Neo-Renaissance-On-Steroids Event sets. If Hollywood’s stereotype of a nouveau-riche Mafioso ever dreamed of himself as the Second Coming, it would look like one of these sets.
Also, Frank Sinatra was not very tall, either, but was still wildly popular and “did it HIS way…..”
I wonder if this crap is his own taste, if he decorates his homes this way, or, if pillars, clouds, sunbursts, shooting stars, non-stop symbols ,scroll work, etc. all jammed together against the ubiquitous blue, are what he thinks WE like.
‘They were proud that they finagled their money and thought ANYTHING was acceptable to get their bridges done.’
That is probably a widespread practice. A few weeks ago I was to congratulate someone on her achieving OT V and when I asked how she did it – with sources of income: domestic cleaning and home stay students it seemed unreal to me to save up for the costs – she said that some scientologist(s) lent her the money and I should do the same. Felt like ‘10%’ is written on my forehead. I brushed off the suggestion of getting into debt and changed the subject.
It also sent me thinking: who in their right mind would lend this woman $50K+, with no real odds to ever get it back?
Then I thought, it was not a loan but someone’s amends project, perhaps.
Best way to describe these fund raise videos is painful enthusiasm. Just grit your teeth and smile.
I wonder if Pat Parodi would be ballyhooing the majesty and grandeur that is David Miscavige if he had been within earshot of the following:
Early 1990s. We, the public, are lined up single-file on the gangplank to enter aboard the Freewinds. David Miscavige, in full regalia, is standing there to greet each of us personally. Pat Parodi, soft-spoken L.A. FSM, is on line, two people ahead of me. After Pat shakes David’s hand and walks onboard, David turns to one of his mini-minions and brays, in one of the most contemptuous and vile voices I’ve ever heard, “WHO’S THE FAAAAGGG?!?
THAT, Mr. Parodi, is your “Command Intention”.
Wow! An almost overwhelming amount of insanity. Speechless.
I watched the video (well, part of it anyway – then I threw up). It occurred to me that perhaps they have been fundraising for so long they have forgotten what an org is actually supposed to be used for.
Am somewhat bewildered. Is this the church of scientology, the real thing?
This round of Funnies (could just as easily be termed “tragedies”) plus the Atlanta fundraising video are, to me, solid evidence, that the Church of Scientology, as any of us once knew it or thought it to be, is now long dead and buried, and a cruel parody has been constructed in its place. Or put another way – 20 years ago, or even 10 years ago – if such a video or promo pieces were posted online, OSA would be investigating the posters for posting j&d/entheta on the Church. Nowadays, the new parody church is posting the same kind of entheta on itself at a mad rate.
We should just go ahead and hold the memorial service now. RIP.
Good observation SSOA. It is perhaps the best evidence of the fact that the cofs is indeed dead and it is simply involuntary muscle twitches that are giving it some appearance of life.
Weekend at Bernies, I’m tellin you. Should be required viewing for all bitter apostates
My sentiments exactly!, SSoA.
The exhaustion is showing. It probably is not possible to be on staff and coherent, logical or articulate.
I was thinking the same thing DM. The desperation is palpable. And, yes, the exhaustion is indeed showing. Fundraising in this cult is THE most important activity they have. And, I believe it is never ending. However, with years and years of fundraising, I can see why they have to resort to gimmicks to get people to come in.
“Find out how the advent of the Golden Age of Tech Phase II has made building of Ideal Orgs faster….”? and only an Ideal Org can deliver GAT II standardly. I think I learned about this in a logic class. It’s called circular reasoning. Heh. Why not? On a Bridge to no where – it makes sense.
Paul Schroer “recruitment letter” – that actually is sad. So many strewn bodies in the wake of the church of scientology.
I’m so glad Pat Parody clarified that he IS going to the Flag World Tour Event. I for sure will go now.
Mike, you made me laugh bringing up the “We Stand Tall” video – except now I can’t get the picture of a singing Ray Mitoff out of my head.
Between OTVIIIisGrrr8’s comment on “Why Ideal Orgs” which I read this morning, and now this latest installment of Thursday Funnies, I’ve given up on the concept of getting any actual work done… this is overwhelm…in a good way. Thanks, Mike!
I joined wise once and when I called to ask questions, they told me I had to buy a higher level membership to be aloud to ask questions. About that regitrar guy, I felt kind of sorry for him. He seems about 13 or mabe that is his IQ.
“This is a recruit letter.”
Great sales pitch! If he worked at The Gap would he say “These are jeans. I am trying to sell them to you”?
First off, Kevin, a “recruit” is someone that has been recruited into some business, organization, team, etc. Shouldn’t it have read, “This is a recruitment letter?” Either way at least we know that they are making no bones about being short of SO members. Why is there no ‘Grammar Tech?’
Surfer, KTL 😉
Scientologies problem is word of mouth advertising.
🙂
With scientology, I always thought it was ‘foot in mouth’ advertising…
Parodi’s grammar improved after his Objectives and ST Hat – in a couple of lines he used these:
Vatican City, Spiritual Headquarters and OT Central.
I guess these are never in the history of galactic lives best ever used synonyms or, shall we say, delusional blabber?
Pity about the ‘blue painter’s tape tech” wardrobe failure and the sneak peek at that boob’s boob. Oh, and by the way, Angry Gay Pope wants his hat back.
Is there any wonder why these guys try to keep this stuff confidential? Good grief, its so pathetic!
Bystander, you answered your own question there
Question: “Is there any wonder why these guys try to keep this stuff confidential?”
Answer: “Good grief, its so pathetic!”
LOL :0)
I always thought the reason they kept the OT materials confidential was because if they actually told you what was on each level, especially OT 3, you’d be rolling on the floor laughing your ass off. After which you’d be walking out the door with all of your bank accounts, stocks, children/s college fund & cash still in your possession…
Old Surfer. That is EXACTLY why El Ron kept it confidential. There is NO other logical explanation. Almost unbelievably, there are still people who believe the garbage reasoning he gave even though empirical evidence TOTALLY trashes it.
“…. the best time in the history of everything …”
How to sound like an idiot — today’s lesson: When you want to p the status of your superlatives use a pair of them in tandem.
“The middle class? Don’t look now Caroline, but they are your public.
Or is this just something lost in translation and you really mean “PTS to the middle class” as in the effort to accumulate wealth and property? Don’t look now Caroline, but that is what you and your Super Chicken are doing….”
One of your best take-downs ever, and that’s saying something!
As one who vacillates between “scientology is going to reach a tipping point and fall” and “the remaining scientologists are so crazy, they’ll stick around no matter what”, seeing all this gibberish moves we way over to the left.
Paul Schroer sounds like he is going to either blow or keel over. Pat Parodi sounds like he will spontaneously combust. Super chicken? Books make booms? These people could be on the bleeding edge of meltdown (and subsequent awakening). Or maybe they’re just permanently cray cray. Hell, I don’t know.
“….Victories against the oppressor and victories against the middle class…”???? Not so Nice, IMO.
John explains “word of mouth” like it is
a Scientology discovery. I might add he
does this in a condescending, arrogant
you are all so uninformed attitude. And
of course, to show how truly informed he
is, he gives a PL reference for all of the
idiots to read. Really he sounded like a
father teaching his child some known piece
of data that he knows the child has not yet learned.
And John….what happens if the cabinet maker
can’t find anyone who is pleased with his work?
Answer….well potpie he will need to do his purif,
objectives and of course the student hat and this
should be enough to put him on the road to the
greatest ever, never seen before cabinetry work
this sector of the universe has ever scene.
Thank you John……you are a very informed person.
PS John….what is your training level?
John….My what?
Regarding the french promo and the bit about “victories against the oppressor and the middle class”, wtf is CoS’s problem with the middle class? It sounds like something from the Cultural Revolution! I’ve run into this a few times before, see this SO recruitment poster on OTVIII’s site – http://otviiiisgrrr8.com/2014/08/13/cob-fires-off-the-new-fundraising-police/ . Its all very fascinating to me.
I gather the middle class’s “materialism” and “consumerism” are being ridiculed and they should develop the scientologist “fixed, dedicated glare” and singular focus on CI and planetary clearing? This battle cry against materialism and the middle class makes sense in the context of communism or radical Islam but Scientology? Really!?
How Maoist and fanatical. SO really is an extremist group and should be classified as such.
Ironic this railing agaisnt materialism and the middle class is considering the lap of luxury Miscavige and his small clique enjoy. i guess that’s just par for the course though
Of course Scientology! You should not be into “materialism” and “consumerism” (defined as those things you truly want and need) and, instead, into contributing monies for buildings you’ll never use, never be in nor, likely, ever see the outside of. 🙂
Of course they want to eliminate the middle class.
If there is no more middle class, there are the poor (all of the suckers) and the rich (Miscavige), who have the poor working for peanuts.
With a big middle class, you have suckers who do what they want because they have the resources to do so, and who can even disagree with you, imagine that.
No words suffice.
Hi Mike,
The piece by MarkB Registrar reminded me of “Special Ed” from Crank Yankers. Here is a clip of what is probably close to MarkB’s beingness. Please excuse the 30 second ad up front. I couldn’t eliminate this. And you don’t have to post this if you don’t want to. (But if you have never seen this, you might like it.)
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4b4cfdb75d/crank-yankers-special-ed-wants-to-see-a-movie-s02e03-from-vertex
“…and to build here on earth a civilization of which we can all be proud.”
Well, at least a few of them have a building they are really proud of. Not quite seeing that civilization.
Yaaaay!
We ridicule their exc!!!!!!!ama!!!!tion!!!! po!!!!!!nt tech so now they repeat vowels instead
Wow Pat, I wasn’t going to come near your money-sucking, mind-bending cult….but you have a pool??? I’m on my way. LOL
🙂
Mike, I love Thursday Funnies! Between your blog and the hysterical videos on Tony’s, my day started off with much laughter (and even more cringes, but that’s OK).
And we think they are cuckoo in the USA? Looking at France I am gobsmacked! However, postings today from both Tony and Mike made me laugh until I cried! The Atlanta video was priceless! Mike, you sang in Stan Tall like you were a Pentecostal Christian communicating with the trinity! Priceless video also. Mr.ManToddler looked angelic. Just made my day!
This is like a frat party that went n to long and when the Bills show up everyone scatters.
Pat Parody, give me a break !!!!!!
Wondering if they pay royalties to the copyright owners of the music they use in these videos?
DM: Fuck em. sue em if they complain! Next?
Nah, it is true for them that they own everything. Plus it is the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics that they own everything.
My guess would be no. Wog rules don’t apply to them.
I don’t wonder. Who’s going to step up and contact The Harry Fox Agency, Inc., who handles almost all royalty business. Here’s their page about piracy:
http://www.harryfox.com/public/Anti-Piracy.jsp
This probably falls under Fair Use/Parody statutes, to be honest.
Although the sheeple don’t realise that they’re parodying themselves…
I’m not wondering at all.