The Old Guard
Generally reflecting the state of scientology, the old guard is pretty much all there is left…
Fatten them up before the slaughter…
Or: You gotta use some cheese to catch the mouse
It’s a Mega New Status!
Really?
Truth in Advertising
For once. Really it should say the Brave or the Stupid.
Ideal Org — What do you get?
Big old empty rooms that look like sets out of a scientology tech film.
An Island of Sanity
If you define sanity as a graveyard — of course nobody ever argues or questions in a graveyard.
Faster Service
It’s SERIOUSLY fast when there is nobody waiting
Standard Tech
Could any picture epitomize NON-standard tech more than this? According to scientology policy, the ONLY reason for an empty course room is NON-STANDARD TECH.
OMFG
“Servicing” 64 “children” at a time… They have turned “Child Care” into a “Delivery Facility” WTF
1028 people at a time
This place wouldn’t see 1028 at a time if they gave away free food to the homeless as most of them would be afraid to go in. What a monumental waste of space.
What does it take?
Simple. YOU handing over YOUR money. The push is back on in Porn Valley. Quinn the Eskimo, looking tanned after a stint on MEST work, is back to keep flogging that old horse.
“Up Status Alert”
Quinn has developed a new way to tap into the scientology obsession with “status.”
Even Creepier Up Status Alert
It’s not even a PERSON?
Who is behind the legalization of marijuana?
My guess is the people that use it. But I am sure he has a better answer. It’s Big Pharma. Psychs. The World Bank. Rockefellers.
Artists – how to make money…
So you can hand it over to us – even before you leave the Moneywinds
CF and Religious Experiences
SuMP
“Passes” for the tour after the grand opening… As always, scientology the “open book”of religions. Oh how they bristle at being called secretive.
This is sad, not funny
How strange that this funeral service is being held in another church?
Simply the best
Meaning — we have plans to take the most amount of money from you possible
Another scientology reason to give us more money…
Because you cannot really make case gain without also training. No wonder those OT VIII’s are having to go back and redo their Objectives.
But we can help you with that. Join staff. You will never have to worry about your case progress. It doesn’t happen.
Our duty
Actually our duty is to get your money
$20 for a 100 page paperback
Why not price this tiny book like everyone else does?
Details to follow soon
It’s an amazing surprise? After 66 years you would think it wouldn’t be much of a surprise any more.
Bring on the Boom Book-A-Thon
So, explain again why it’s $20 for a 100 page paperback?
We are clearing Cincinnati
Sure thing. Even at 100 per week it is still going to take you 400 years just to clear Cincinnati. You aren’t even doing 1 per week. Guess you are just not on purpose and don’t really want a big, booming org. Because you don’t got one…
A full time CF Volunteer
She joined staff? They don’t get paid either. If she is “full time” you have to wonder why she DIDN’T join staff? It really sucks worse than “volunteering” full time in CF?
He was our leader in 2011
And we are STILL not done with our filing 5 years later
Promise the moon
And how DO you “grant” someone personal immortality anyway?
Weird
It makes you wonder about what they teach you in the “Hubbard Clan”
Atlanta. It was spectacular!
Of course. And the comm cycles were amazing.
Damned by faint praise.
Only “qualified” scientologists need apply
If you are breathing you qualify.
A final farewell
John Danilovich has been “retired” as the Captain AOSHUK and sent back to Flag. Obviously, the “massive expansion” at St Hill is a little less massive than they have let on. An “ideal org” now and it’s head for 20 years is disappeared. Such typical Miscavige management ™ (r)
“An Island of Sanity”? I never felt this, even when I was a raving Koolaider. It was never a safe place for me, either, obviously. Why didn’t I push off then? I was convinced it was because “real LRH” was not being practised due to lack of training, auditing, blah, blah. Little did I know that “real LRH” was indeed being practised!
http://www.ew.com/article/2016/04/06/tribeca-louis-theroux-scientology
Gotta admit, the public face of Scientology really is something to behold. It might even be unique.. yes, similar to the LaRouchies and so many cults, in some ways, but put it all together, and it’s something special. Thank you, Louis, for scratching the belly of the beast.
Still worried about legalized marijuana, when it’s been legalized for medicinal purposes. When will these guys wake up and come to the present? The horse has left the barn!
Typical $cientology. Show pictures of gourmet food to get people to show up for an IAS event only to deliver Subway sandwiches. Five dollar footlong! Also, I remember when I went to IAS events back in the day and the starving staff were forced to attend to have some warm bodies in the chairs, but weren’t even allowed to eat the free food; that was only for public. Clearly, staff are at the bottom for the food chain.
Did anyone notice this: “A big and better buffet will be waiting for you in the Saint Hill Refectory…” Better than what? Did they just have crackers and cheese at the last event?
Hey grannie! I’m back! Hey Uncle Jed!
Good to have you back, Jethro. It’s been a long time…
Yes, I had the same thing happen to me when I was on staff. Free food was only for public and the ED was adamant about that. The restriction was lifted during pot lucks, however.
Why would anyone become a full time CF volunteer?
To get access to their own file, and their dad’s, and anyone else’s important to them.
And shred everything but the dullest and most harmless documents inside.
And then un-volunteer.
CF Doesn’t contain pc or ethics folders.
But there you are, wandering around the org at odd hours, probably alone, and with a perfect alibi.
Hi Outsider, A good post.Long ago in Sea Org I was able to use CF as a shore story while searching out who had taken my PC folders and where they went.Found the answer out pretty quickly.Back then a QM could learn many things by watching listening and always have that shore story ready to go if needed.Keep those TRs in and even at 3:00am if confronted upstat manner and high tone intention Sir I am doing all I must do as QM to keep Asho safe & secure…worked for some months until someone figured me out.Whoops! Cold dogs and beans the least of it.Love,Ann.
Now I know why, when I did QM, I had every key to the org building except the one to the room where the PC folders were kept!
Hi alcoboy, Yes Sir!, I did not have a key to the PC folder closet either,but sometimes the exalted GO/ now OSA slips up and since all my PC folders stacks and stacks were secreted in a GO/I’s temp office at Asho it was not too hard to figure out who had em.Also when we started moving Asho to Big Blue I was the lone and only guard for the PC semi truck that carried all the folders from Asho to Big Blue’s back parking lot.There I stood guard all night and very early the next am got thrown into the morgue for my troubles.
Speaking of keys, one time I was working late and an OT who was on the class 8 course was so close to finishing and the course folder room was locked after 11:00pm or so.To this day I do not know how I did this but using a broom straw just one I wiggled it thru a small crack in the double Dutch door that had two hook locks that were hooked shut.So I worked it with huge Tone 40 got the door open,ran in and got his class8 packet because I was allowed to see all the course packets as ASR and he finished by Thurs @ 2:00. Laughter the whole thing is funny to me now,but I got a commendation for breaking and entering.xo,Ann.
Hi Good People,More’s the pity about no pc/ethics folders in CF,laughter! I sure would have given up my meager Sea Org pay, to get my hands on mine before other hands got to them first.Enjoy your posts.Always,Ann.
I don’t know…masicist?
Who’s behind the legalization of Marijuana?
“We in government are sick and tired of having to treat a joint of ditch-weed with the same seriousness as as a vial of crack cocaine…and we can tax it too.”
Spot on Leslie, spot on.
“Servicing Children”. Looks like someone had their “Fear of Children” rundown. Changing diapers stats will be highest ever at least six weeks in a row.
At the rate that Scientology public is aging, most of the diapers being changed won’t be in the daycare center/indoctrination hive.
Laughter!
“But we can help you with that. Join staff. You will never have to worry about your case progress. It doesn’t happen.”
Best line in years!
Who’s behind the legalization of marijuana? … well, I know that RON PAUL and the Libertarian Party have been for it for a very long time … Oh, No! … Not the hero of so many Scientologists! … Please say it isn’t true! … but wait … he’s against government supported health care too, so that means no mental health care money being doled out to “psychs”, so I guess on balance, he’s still OK … kind of … but watch it Ron … you’re being watched … (for the record, I’m for legalization myself AND for government supported health care as well, but I’m an old liberal) *no doubt of course that the psychs will be revealed to be behind it all and the Libertarian party will certainly not be mentioned.
Not all that certain that the Libertarian Party wants to be connected with the Church of Scientology.
“Servicing” 64 “children” at a time… They have turned “Child Care” into a “Delivery Facility” WTF”
Mommy I don’t want to go to the Delivery Facility today. They make me hold smelly cans and I have to watch them eat their boogers.
Hello North Korea, someone is stealing your ‘tech’.
Note the dead eyes on all the staff ads. Not good advertising…….
“Find out who is behind the legalization of Marijuana.” Ummmm….a whole bunch of states? Go ahead, cult members, try and to reverse the the legalization of pot in Colorado. Especially in the Denver area. Of course, you may be tarred and feathered and run out on a rail, but, go ahead and try.
Someone hasn’t had their “Fear of Marijuana” rundown.
FEAR of marijuana? Not a chance. That rundown is not for me.
That you do not have pain, attitudes, emotions and sensations about it, will be considered an outpoint in the Mother Church.
I don’t believe anyone connected to that place anymore has a clue about Dianetics. They swept that out the door like dust to fall upon the wholly irrelevant.
The attitudes, pains emotions and sensations connected to Scientology, status, psychs and real estate is what fuels them. The public statements issued from the Church now sound like someone drowning in Dianetics case issues. The attitudes, emotion and pain are thick enough to wall off the U.S. borders.
Once again, Oracle, an outstanding post. And you’re right about Dianetics. They don’t have a clue, but worse is, they don’t care. Would hate to be on staff today.
Hey, if they just disseminate TWTH in Denver, everyone will put down their joints, pipes, bongs and brownies, and start auditing at the nearest Ideal Morgue.
Who is behind legalization of Marijuana ?
Wrong question,
Who is NOT against Legalization of Marijuana ?.
I’m behind the legalization of marijuana.
California’s number one crop is Marijuana
has been for decades and in the 1960’s
when I was in the FFA
( Future Farmers of America)
Because it’s not a legal crop it’s not counted,
but it is number one by a wide margin.
Making it Legal decriminalizes growing it
and takes away from drug cartels and makes it taxable
not to mention the cost of enforcement ,incarceration,
and the air force used to locate marijuana groves on public land.
Making Marijuana legal is going to happen in order to pay off the
National Debt,reduce crime and lower the prison population.
+1! I couldn’t have said it better. “…pay off the National Debt, reduce crime & lower the prison population (which i think is the biggest in the world).
Who’d of thunk a weed can bring joy into peoples lives as well as pay off the national debt! I mean, is this a win win or what!?
I know someone that invested in farm land in Goleta Ca. with the idea of selling organic marijuana. Went bust when it became legalized, sales crashed. It is actually a situation right now with a lot of farmers that planned to make crops. Doesn’t seem so appealing when it is being sold next to the Hershey bars and disposable diapers.
A couple of observations:
1.) Samuel Zeiler, who recently joined staff in Seattle is 64 years old. Imagine being at a time when you should be hoping to retire, potentially spend more time with grandkids, and otherwise enjoy the time you have left on the Earth, you are instead working ungodly hours for no money doing pointlessly menial work under extreme pressure, work that basically attempts to cover for the fact that nobody is coming in to “buy” the “product.”
2.) Portland IAS event: I’m not 100% sure but the food there looks exactly like the pictures of the food that I seem to recall seeing at other events in different parts of the country. Either they’ve got the same caterers in Portland as they do in Tampa, or they’re completely making it up about what’ll be on the menu if you’re one of the four people stupid enough to actually attend this particular shindig.
3.) “Tampa Central Files: Only the Brave Need Apply”: Perhaps there’s some truth in the headline. It must take nerves (or lungs) of steel to dive into a room of musty files and try to make sense of the incoherence. That’s because all the humidity in Tampa over a half century has probably created a “47x straight up and vertical” expansion of the number of mold spores in the paper files of people who bought books in the 1960s and are still considered “hot prospects” to become “fresh meat.”
4.) All those Valley fliers: the saddest thing by far is not the scary child care facilities, the acres of empty space or the pictures of smiling but broke public. It’s the incredibly generic and pathetically out of context Hubbard quotes that could mean absolutely anything at all. It’s even worse than televangelists who pull bible quotes so far out of context that they’re meaningless.
5.) New Valley humanitarian status for “Women’s Auxilliary.” Turns out that “Auxiliary” is spelled with only one “L.” On the other hand, “axillary” is a very similar-looking word. I’m hoping they didn’t mean that one, because “axillary” mean “of, or having to do with the armpit.” On the other hand, given the struggles to “get it done,” the Valley is clearly the armpit of Scientology.
6.) Jarrett Pulis death: Poor Jarrett was only 46, way too young to die. Hope it wasn’t all the stress of being on staff, eating crappy food and smoking way too much that killed him. Ironically, his day job (from his LinkedIn profile) was at a women’s fashion wholesaler that specialized in fancy outfits to be worn to church. After all, Jesus was just an implant.
Hi John P Capitalist, Good to see your post which made me smile and say for the trillionth time,I am so so happy to have left the cult.Saying this never gets old for me.Always,Ann.
This is the reality of Co$ ” move up in status today”, shown on their PR. The main goal, eh?
Valley Org can never open because they know it will be a massive failure. If opened it would soon become another empty rotting shell in the church’s collection of properties. It’s too close to LA and the sheeple might actually see it and catch on. The PR of Scientology is so universally bad it can never be repaired. Valley Org was dead far before the new building. If they see to open it now the lifeless org would only be magnified for all to see.
Great post. NED! I’m wondering if ther’re actually trying not to open it. Or at least trying to stall the process. Because when it does open, as you said, everyone will see the reality. That’s going to be ugly.
The little boy next to the smiling young girl, in the Increased Responsibility panel, looks like he’s having a WTF moment.
No, he’s having a “god I hope Bernie Sanders is elected president because that’s the only way I’m going to be able to afford collage” moment.
No real disrespect intended here…
My impression glancing through these flyers was that for a dead guy LRH sure has a lot to say. Quote after cherry-picked quote justifying anything and everything .
Sadly, Jarrett Pulis as finally reconnected with his family. In all those faithful years on staff his family had never met any of his ‘friends’. No doubt that when he fell ill he was offloaded like yesterday’s newspaper and the family got him back.
Just wait until the Tampa CF project gets to the letter “F”. I hope they choke on it.
Some church.
“And how DO you “grant” someone personal immortality anyway?”
And Scn’ers STILL believe that El Con wasn’t a delusional megalomaniac. smh
I do hereby grant Mike Wynski immortality. How’s that feel, Mike? Ok? I’m just kidding! You’re already immortal. But, throw me some cash anyway.
OSD, you have to 1st threaten THEN grant, after payment. Man, CoS didn’t teach you nuffin! 😉
OH SHIT! I’ve been doing it all wrong! I was granting THEN threatening. Thanks for getting me straightened out, Mike!
Mafia 101.
Oh OSD everyone knows those rules! And you dare call yourself a Scot. Shame on you 😉
I hang my head in bitter shame…
“We wanted a big, roomy morgue, and we bought one!”
LMFAO!
Hey, can Mike and I come on over and pretend that were dead people?
Dave,
Fuck the Shrine, now you have the Valley chapel for New Year’s events. And you don’t have to pay for extras!
Who is behind the legalization of marijuana: you forgot the biggest drug dealer in the world – the queen of England.
What? That’s what I was told in the org. They wouldn’t lie about something like that, would they?
I was told by HCO that Henry VIII had many more wives than the piddling six we know about (some conspiracy theory that I never could get to the bottom of, but I think it was about setting up the Church of England) and that the only reason for the American Civil War was so that the global banking system could get control over those annoyingly obstinant Southerners. It’s always good to get these things clear.
“Joining staff at the Seattle Org was one of the smartest moves I could have made.”
Going out on a limb here, but i would say that cleaning out ear wax with an ice pick is a slightly smarter move than joining staff.
Well, that’s how I always removed wax from my ear. I mean, I’d be lost without my ice pick…
What about defrosting the cap of your gas tank with a blow torch ?
Nah. Still smarter. It has a chance of turning out ok, and if it goes wrong at least it’s fast.
Ideal Orgs…What do you get?
Empty buildings
Starved staff
Stuffed Miscavige’s wallet
but thanks god
you also get less people to go in and be abused.
What you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt.
Yep, another debt older and deeper in day…
The picture of the two guys sitting in an obscure filing room of an obscure organization, filing their lives away. That makes me sad. What a waste.
Too many gag reflexes to count.
Have I ever mentioned how happy I am to be OUT of this group?
I know, Mary. It’s like waking up on a beautiful day with birds chirping and the sun shining and knowing that no one is going to ask you for money. It’s knowing your old life (pre cult) is now back and you’re free to do whatever you want. Be friends with whoever you want. It’s knowing that you really want to take an old surfer dude out for dinner and drinks. Ok, ok…drinks and dinner.
Yes. Nothing like that. I went to a very fun party last Saturday where not a single crime was committed (not to my knowledge?). The church of scientology would have demanded at least 100 KR’s be written.
PS
OSD I think you should get the BarBQue going for that party you were planning on having when the church of scientology is done.
Mary, I’ve got a huge backyard with a 420 sq. ft. deck with giant umbrellas, waterfalls and wind chimes.
When I had my SP party a few years back, my backyard was PACKED! So, yeah, I’ll be ready.
Sorry I missed your coming out party. I’ll be there for the next one.
Yeah, baby!
I wonder how the monarchy will feel about being used to advertise scientology.
The several photos of empty course rooms caught my eye. When I was at ASHO, I don’t recall a time when we could have taken a photo of an empty course room with all the chairs lined up just so. People were too busy using it.
Hi Valerie,Again a great post.I was an excellent course room cleaner during cleaning stations and I too never recall an empty course room or parking lot at Temple St.Also my ASHO Lion did not consent to that color photo of him in one of the promo pieces on the wall.He high tailed it out of ASHO when the
SHSBC & Asho Fdn were thrown out with the trash.xxoo Ann.
I thought the same thing on both counts. Not sure they can use the Queen’s image without permission. Although it never seems to stop them. And, every single course room was COMPLETELY empty!
If they going to take pictures of course rooms, you’d think they’d hire some actors so it seems full. I know it’s an extra expense, but, geez!
I found those interior photos eerie and a little bizarre. No human presence, no life, no soul, mausoleums all. I don’t think this brand of “truth in advertising” was what they had in mind. I’m left wondering, who approved of these promo pieces? Even the most inexperienced marketing and advertising person would have the common sense to show rooms full of enthusiastic people. Church promo actually used to do that. Hard to figure their mindset these days.
They filmed part of “Zombieland” in that Idle Morgue…
They can no longer find $cn-ists that look nice. The young Sea Ogres are always scowling, and the old staffers are bedraggled and beaten-down looking. So far, too cheap, or not desperate enough to hire actors. But they will…..
Maybe someone should alert Buckingham Palace about that Hubbard’s Scottish Club ad or whatever it is. Not sure the queen wants to be associated with something like Scientology. Prince Charles, maybe.
“Make yourselves our slave me we will offer you total freedom.” Good grief.
RIP Jarrett Pulis. Evidently was only 46, if my brief research was accurate. Very sad when people die inside the cult. I’m glad his family is holding his funeral elsewhere.
Does Scientology even hold funerals?
Scientology says we’ve lived forever before this life and we will drop our meat suits again and live forever. So, why would anyone have to bother with any religion if this is the case, let alone a twisted, beaten-animal existence in their cult? Doesn’t take much to find plot holes in any manipulative, contrived piece of pulp fiction.
RIP, Jarrett. However, you’re now, “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty (or anyone else you want to thank) we’re free at last.”
And I am sure that Jarret was far more than sixty seven cents worth of MEST as LRH once put it.
LRH’s final months of life are more interesting to me as a Scientology observer and ex member.
Lawrence Wright’s “Going Clear…” book final pages, and the HBO “Going Clear…” DVD segment that has Wright interviewing Sarge Steven Pfauth are way more important in putting Hubbard and Scientology in perspective.
Too bad existing Scientologists are immune to hearing their own history from those closest to LRH in the end of LRH’s life!
Chuck to view, and admit the truth would destroy scientology inside AND outside the church.
Chuck, you are right. I got the enhanced edition of “Going Clear” from iBooks and was able to watch the interview with Sarge. It left a huge impression, mostly because of Sarge’s attitude. He was not trying to “spill the beans” on LRH, he was obviously tormented by that telling.
You know: Bob Heinlein used to get two cents a word.
That’s highway robbery! My your God! Two cents a word? How can they afford Bob?