HUGE News!
But then again, has there EVER been a scientology event that is not huge, epic, monumental blah blah blah
Of course, the huge news is: a) we need your money now and b) you need to get busy on our backlogged CF.
Speaking of CF
Tampa is still working on theirs. And they are taking things to “light speed” — everything except their filing backlog I guess. That is going at “snail’s pace.”
Emptiness
But they tried to make it look like there are people by having a CGI image of an image of people running through the org…
What does it take?
How about a REAL photo. Someone handing over a credit card or check? Not funnyman Meskiman sitting on a stool.
Quinn the Eskimo
Looks like he has gotten a little sun. Maybe a stint scrubbing dumpsters in the parking lot of the HGB?
Wacky
But what the hey — no wackier than their other stuff. Of course, makes perfect sense, we have a big wheel to lift boats in Falkirk so give money to build an ideal org in Edinburgh.
Seriously?
The big “human rights” issue is vaccines? How about human trafficking, disconnection and slave labor in scientology?
Juggernauts?
Not so much – more like juggernaughts. All these zeros is just not very convincing…
Exclusive briefing?
How exclusive can it be if it’s run by Gavin Potter — who is NOT OT VII or OT VIII and doesn’t at least one of these briefings ever single week… Wonder what Bob is saying about OT IX and X that he is “going to be C/Sing” and of which he knows absolutely nothing (because there is nothing to know).
Phony picture time is here again
Buildings are humanitarians
Of course, in the church of MEST worship, it only makes sense
This is just sadly pathetic
But this IS how a real KoolAid drinking scientologist thinks.
OMG they’re giving something away for free!
Another bus ride — this time to work on the “fantasmagorical” Tampa CF project.
Is this intentional?
Is there a joker in the deck in New Mexico?
The World Is About To Change
Oh yeah, for sure. It will be the biggest shift on planet earth since the last epic and monumental watershed moment (they seem to come around at routine intervals — New Years, March 13th, Maiden Voyage and IAS event time).
Wow – this is exciting
They are showing the Atlanta ribbon yanking at graduation. Woopee.
Incredible speakers from Atlanta!
Gosh, I thought all those people in Atlanta would be flat out dealing with the flood of people that arrived the day they opened their doors? What a shock. They’re on the fundraising trail for ANOTHER org already…
Saving our beautiful planet and humanity from utter destruction
This according to Kate is what the IAS does. What a dupe.
“We must be CAUSE.” Translated from scientologese, that means “We must give money.”
How to postulate for success
Well Phoenix, if you are so expert that you are going to teach others “how to be successful” with postulates, how about some postulates to make enough money to pay the electricity bill? Scientologists are very skilled at convincing everyone else they have the answers while being thoroughly incapable of practicing what they preach.
One question survey
Answer: Nightmare. Big pot containing man being cooked by cannibals. Vampires in white shorts and long white socks.
You can play too…
People are looking…
Yes, like they watch a train wreck or car accident. And Drew, what happened to your Class VIII status?
Mission Earth Fan says
Who could resist Miami’s Big Tittie Bash? (facepalm)
Pearl says
The Comic Sans font literally kills me
Aquamarine says
“Summer on the Freewinds”. Ok, I’m getting a picture of a spoon…its lodged far back in my mouth…pressing down…I’m gagging…
McCarran says
“There is no spoon.”
KatherineINCali says
Mike, your answer to the “one question survey” killed me. Hilarious!
I can’t decide which is more ridiculous — that this Mick guy had to put a definition of “instantly” in parentheses, or that he nullifies the very meaning of “instantly” by putting limitations on the answer (“it has to be a thing, not an idea”) Laughter!
Jose Chung says
30 enemy lines ?
I think you have to add more zero’s to that number
to be closer to the truth. 30 is far to conservative.
Old Surfer Dude says
If you include all of Earth, I reckon it’d be closer to 30,000…
Kronomex says
All I could think while looking at the Miami’s Big Time Bash was Demento and the “whales” putting on boxing gloves and waiting for the robots to enter the building.
the ideal org strategy that they’ve been working on for a decade will become 20 years and on and on. That is if $camology is still around in 10 years.
My eyes blurred and crossed and my brain wanted to hide while I was reading the Hubbardism in the How to postulate for success flyer. Now I have a headache.
On the one question survey about Freewinds (oh boy, the following thought popped into my head as I was about to type “Escape” as my answer). Now my second answer is; Farts just want to be free.
Invisible Man says
For those who haven’t read miscaviage’s funniest biography. Check it out here it’s a real riot. http://www.scientology.org/david-miscavige.html
Regraded Being says
Hi Tim Jones,
At times I’ve been accused of exagerrating in my attempt to portray the use of Scientologese amongst its members and in their interaction with non Scientologists. I don’t mean just the specialized words and phrases but also how Scientologists describe their role in the grand scheme of things.
Sometimes I wonder if I’ve not pushed too far in creating the image that people still in Scientology are “Bubble Dwellers”.
Then a guy like you comes along and says, “They don’t realize it, but the people on this planet need us. They need us desperately.”
If I had thought up a line like that for a cartoon, I would have hesitated before using it, thinking it sounds too corny. Nobody would ever believe Scientologists say things like that.
Well……….. I guess they do.
If you ever decide to leave the church, look me up. I may have a spot for you as a cartoon script-writer.
ML
Regraded Being
bernster52 says
I believe Mr. Jones (as well as many scios) is in need of a plexicotomy. That is a procedure where a piece of Plexiglas is surgically placed in the abdomen so you can see where you are going when you have your head up your ass.
The Oracle says
The following new rundowns are being released this year:
Do you have fears that inhibit you from reaching? From “being there” and experiencing? These are long hidden implants designed to hold you back! The following new rundowns are being released at Flag July 04 Independence Day 2016!!!!! Bulk package intensives available at discount!
Fear of Pain rundown
Fear of sex rundown.
Fear of perfume rundown.
Fear of toxins rundown.
Fear of vaccines rundown.
Fear of critics rundown.
Fear of the Internet rundown.
Fear of the Sea Org rundown.
Fear of contracts rundown.
Fear of CMO rundown.
Fear of COB rundown.
Fear of MAA rundown.
Fear of blowing rundown.
Fear of children rundown.
Fear of pregnancy rundown.
Fear of I.R.S. rundown.
Fear pf psychiatrist rundown.
Fear of Nicole Kidman rundown.
Fear of Katie Holmes rundown.
Fear of Suri rundown.
Fear of being broke rundown.
Fear of Freeloaders debts rundown.
Fear of comm ev rundown.
Fear of the RPF rundown.
Fear of Int Execs rundown.
Fear of pts’s rundown.
Fear of SP’s rundown.
Fear of low status rundown.
Fear of loss of rank rundown.
Fear of all nighters rundown.
Fear of Mike Rinder rundown.
Fear of Marty Rathbun rundown.
Fear of squirrels rundown.
Fear of Ron’s Org rundown.
Fear of loss of certificates rundown.
Fear of your own case rundown.
Fear of your reactive mind rundown.
Fear of disconnection rundown.
Fear of O.S.A. rundown.
Fear of relatives rundown.
Fear of doctors rundown.
Fear of government rundown.
Fear of interrogatories rundown.
Fear of S.P. declares rundown.
Fear of COB pointing at you from the podium rundown.
Fear of missionaries rundown.
Fear of L.R.H. actually coming back rundown.
Fear of L.R.H. rundown.
Fear you missed the boat rundown.
Fear of golden rod rundown.
Fear of being irrelevant rundown.
Fear of Freedom Mag rundown.
Fear of Squirrel Busters rundown.
Fear of “highly trained auditors” rundown.
Fear of out TR’s rundown.
Fear of being down toned rundown.
Fear of OT’s rundown.
Fear of the E.D. rundown.
Fear of staff rundown.
Fear of no F/N at exam rundown.
Fear of running out of intensives rundown.
Fear of the middle class rundown.
Fear of drugs rundown.
Fear of drug addicts rundown.
Fear of your loves ones leaving the fold rundown.
Fear your children might become wogs rundown.
Fear of wogs rundown.
Fear of homosexuals rundown.
Fear of prostitutes rundown.
Fear of degraded beings rundown.
Fear of Xenu rundown.
Fear someone is watching you rundown.
Fear of old e meters rundown.
Fear of unattractive beingness rundown.
Fear of a misunderstood word rundown.
Fear you will erase your Scientology mind by accident rundown.
Fear of make up rundown.
Fear of lower conditions rundown.
Fear of out ethics rundown.
Fear of fear rundown.
hgc10 says
“Fear you will erase your Scientology mind by accident rundown.”
That one made me laugh out loud.
Old Surfer Dude says
Man, I’m really fellin’ rundown now. Think I’ll go and take a nap….
The Oracle says
Laughter!
Newcomer says
Do we have to wait for GAG III to get the
Fear of David Miscavige Bullbait Rundown?
Old Surfer Dude says
If your on the RPF it’s automatic….
Chee Chalker says
Fear of rundown Rundown
Murray Luther says
Positioning an org with “The Matrix”? The irony is killing me. Don’t they have an LRH issue authority line? I can’t imagine this promo would have been approved if it had gone through standard channels. Who got bypassed?
TheHoleDoesNotExist says
When attempts were made to lure me back in after many years to show me how much saner and tamer Scientology had become, I wound up on the Freewinds for the first time and last time. Let me just say that when I first touched down on the return flight, I wanted to kneel down and kiss the ground. I realized I had still been shaking and looking nervously over my shoulder the entire flight.
There’s only one appropriate “Summer on the Freewinds” theme for me.
“Springtime with Hitler”
Ann B Watson says
Hi TheHoleDoesNotExist, Although I never had an invite onboard that vessel,laughter, your post is funny,sad and so true for me.Especially the part about shaking and looking nervously around.I too have been there and done that.Actually it has taken me decades to not feel nervous in situations that remind me of Sea Org days.Also I can just see the backwards lure-you home love bomb of ” making Scientology saner and tamer ” than it supposedly was.Right,I have a really nice broken apart bridge to sell the cult including the desert in all directions,I am so pleased I missed Summer on the Freewinds,more like Winter and frozen on the Freewinds if we can all boom those stats I know this engine will turn over,somehow!Love,Ann.
Doug Sprinkle says
I liked Tim Jones’s comment about we can literally stop war. Around 1989 my auditor told me “you don’t have to worry about nuclear war anymore, too many OT 8s out there”
Scott Henderson says
The arrogance of the kool-aid drinkers is beyond belief.
Old Surfer Dude says
Yep! Just leave it to the OT8s of the world to stop World War 3. I know I shouldn’t be asking them to do this, but, if they can stop Boko Haram, the Islamic group in norther Nigeria, who have killed hundreds and hundreds of people as well as kidnapping young girls making them into sex slaves, I’ll have the proof I need to say, “Hey, this shit really works. Until then, enjoy Springtime with Hitler.
Doug Sprinkle says
But as I think more about it OSD, we have not yet had World War 3 so he must have been right about the OT8s preventing nuclear war.
Old Surfer Dude says
I can’t argue with that….This shit really works!
Aquamarine says
After 911 the pressure from the cult especially from the Sea Org, was incredible and it continued for 2 years. The phone calls never stopped – join staff, join Sea Org, Volunteer Ministers, this seminar, an urgent closed door briefing, OMG, you name it they were calling about it. And calling. And calling. I was going out of my mind so I paid for a separate cell phone with a number only for Scientology so I could do my work. Long story short, at one point a Class V org staff member agreed with me that these phone calls were out of control. He explained to me that Sea Org members had been R-factored by their seniors that 911 occurred because they hadn’t been doing their jobs. I’m not saying this is true but that’s what he told me.
Old Surfer Dude says
Sounds like a what a higher level SO member would say to make people work harder. As well as crushing the life force within them. Imagine, you were responsible for 9/11. YOU! It’s all YOUR fault. Might as well tell them that Earth is going to be destroyed because of their ineptness…
Aquamarine says
Agreed, OSD. I thought it was disgusting that Sea Org were being blamed. Not to mention ridiculous. It did give me more insight into what I considered back then to be their obnoxious pushiness.
( No offense, people, please – I was always a public and though not a whale by ANY means, still love bombed by my little org, and clueless about the cult’s abuses, back then. I had NO idea that Sea Org members were sleep deprived nor even that they worked 80 hours a week, for starters. Believe it or not, I was so clueless I even thought they (Sea Org) had CUSHY lives compared to the Class V org staff who had to work AND moonlight,while the SO got their clothes, meals and shelter and never had to “worry about paying bills like the rest of us”, so they had “no reality on having to earn a living” so of COURSE it was easy for THEM to push the rest of US around, saying, “Do it NOW. We need this NOW”, which I always found obnoxious. In Scientology language, I used to “ridge” around SO members all the time and would avoid them whenever possible. God forgive me, I had no idea of the stress under which they labored and privately had them labeled as “very pushy types” who were THEMSELVES clueless about how tough it was “to live in the real world.” OK, end of mea culpa.)
Ann B Watson says
Hi Aquamarine, I thank you deeply for your post as to how you felt about Sea Orgers when in.I do not blame you.I was almost sitting near the top of the mountain with Apollo the peak and then Asho D & F AOLA St Hill not in any particular order.I never had much contact with all of you who slogged away in ClassV Orgs while having to make a living in the wog world too.I really was on Cloud One Billion as far as that went.Looking back the reason I never mentioned to terminals I wrote at other orgs how things really were was because the Ron-Aid had seeped so far into my blood I would have considered that ultimate treason.Little did I know back in those early innocent Sea Org days,what Treason would mean for me.
You are a free and wondrous spirit and I am so thankful you post here.xo always,Ann.
Old Surfer Dude says
Aqua, I do love you, but, as Forest Gump would have said, “Clueless is as clueless does.” I was one of the unfortunates as I was on staff…
Leslie Bates says
He explained to me that Sea Org members had been R-factored by their seniors that 911 occurred because they hadn’t been doing their jobs.
Oh man! I have to write that into the novel!
Aquamarine says
I know, right? You can’t make this stuff up. I had no response when I was told that, it was so beyond the beyond. I’m not usually at a loss for words.
Wognited and Out says
Debbie Cook ran that on all Staff too – it came down from above…crazy, psycho Miscavige.
Aquamarine says
And, seriously, I wouldn’t be surprised if Miscavige is blaming the Sea Org for ISIS. Crazy stuff.
Old Surfer Dude says
Wait….he’s not already doing that?
Aquamarine says
I don’t know but it would not surprise me. Look, if he blamed them for that mudslide at INT back in the 90s – his underlings were supposed to somehow control Mother Natureand were punished because of that…if that’s true, then all bets are off and they can be responsible for everything bad by this insane person. Maybe the drought in SoCal is their fault too. When someone in charge is nuts like that, anything is possible.
Old Surfer Dude says
Those DBs on out at Int ARE responsible for our drought!
gato rojo says
For as long as I can remember, being in the sea org and getting pressurized and yelled at…LOL….I have always resented that phrase “You need to……” And now imagine telling public people they need to show up and do this and that. Wow. Like…..YOU know what I need? I finally did what I needed—-got the heck out.
Aquamarine says
I hear you, gato. I cannot have the phrase “You need to” spoken to me anymore. Grrr… Fortunately, no one I know outside of the cult has ever talked to me this way including my late parents.
Old Surfer Dude says
Look, Aqua, I don’t know how to say this, but, you need to! You really, really need to! Don’t just brush if off. You need to now! You need to…..do whatever makes you happy in this life. That’s it…
Ann B Watson says
Hi gato rojo,I really liked your post.That ” You need to “was used regarding anything and everything I might have done wrong or a perception I was being out-ethics as in You need to get those TRs In and spend all night if it takes to get your letters out stat higher than the week before etc and that was the PG version of what I needed to do.At GO/Intel certain people were very good at swearing at me in a tone that was very quiet.Creepy and off putting which was the point.Love,Ann.
Aquamarine says
OSD, First, “Grrrr”, then, 🙂
Old Surfer Dude says
I’m always happy when I make you happy…..
zemooo says
All I see are deluded people bludgeoning each other into more delusions. That bus ride to Tampa will have to a great time. No ’99 bottles of beer on the wall’, just ‘we stand tall’ and ‘thank you for listening’. And then they get to play with paper files. Oh what a day trip. Or is it a ‘Magical Mystery Tour’?
Leslie Bates says
Or it could be the Tragical History Tour.
http://rutlesriki.wikia.com/wiki/Tragical_History_Tour_%28album%29
Old Surfer Dude says
Tragical History Tour! LOL!!! Very nice, Leslie!
Espiando says
When I used the same reference last week, no one praised me or LOLed. But then again, I need to die because I don’t like cats, right?
Old Surfer Dude says
I…..I really meant to, Espi! I’m just not sure what got into me. (hang head) I’m just a DB…
Aquamarine says
Espi,
I LOL at your posts all the time and I LOLed at that one.
As for your aversion to cats, that’s fine, I like them, but some people don’t. I know you wouldn’t deliberately harm one. I have a sense that you are actually very sensitive and caring underneath – underneath – well, you know 🙂
Ann B Watson says
Hi Espiando,Do not forget about me! I LOLed at your post too and you are always welcome in my house because believe me Jade will hide out under the bed and not come out if she senses someone is not fond of catsHere’s a hoot, hubby Walter loves mini dachshunds we don’t have one right now as we lost Dilly at 14 but when we get a puppy it and kitty get brought up together.Never a dull moment with that.
Here is one more for you.I have always loved your posts fron the start because you are so you.xo always,Ann.
FOTF2012 says
Re “the world is about to change …” flyer: it is not _positions_ that are highly-skilled and creative. It would be the _person_ filling the position. Gawd, who edits their stuff, and who teaches them language skills in the first place? (Oh, that’s right — they have the vaunted “Study Tech.”)
trow125 says
From the last flyer: “Why you have trouble in trying to tell people about Scientology” — I don’t suppose Drew will mention “Going Clear,” Mike Rinder’s and Tony Ortega’s blogs, Leah Remini, Ron Miscavige, etc.?
Old Surfer Dude says
…..and the rest of the critics books and TV appearances. I especially like it when the SPs get on TV! That’s what I call great television!
scnethics says
That Tampa CF letter is interesting. Did she say “Double Saint Hill” size? That’s the first time I’ve heard that one and I have a feeling it won’t be the last. I think these folks actually like being lied to!
Mike Rinder says
They have been talking about double St Hill size for months, if not years now.
Old Surfer Dude says
Well, Mike, since they’re having trouble going double St. Hell size, maybe they should shoot for triple St. Hell size. That way they could stretch it out for another couple of decades….
Mike Rinder says
YEah, it can coincide with the “completion” of CF (which never completes because today’s filing is never done, there is always a new backlog being created) and the arctic blizzard in hell
Bystander says
At the rate things are going, getting to double St Hell size should be a snap. They just have to lose people at a slower rate than St Hell. Isn’t ‘we shrunk the least!’ considered upstat?
Old Surfer Dude says
Damn right it is, Bystander! I mean, shrinkage is over powering the cult. But, if your still in and you shrunk the least?! Woo Hoo!!! We’re #1! We’re #1! We’re #1!
C’mon…you gotta give ’em something to celebrate.
bernster52 says
LOL! At first glance the Miami flyer looked like it said “Big Tittie Bash” – wishful thinking? As for Summer on the Freewinds, I don’t think the words exist and if they did I wouldn’t post them.
Mike Rinder says
Funny — that was my first impression of the Miami flyer too. Does that say something important about us?
bernster52 says
Great minds think alike!
Mike Rinder says
🙂
Old Surfer Dude says
Mike, I believe they’re going to release girls and women from the RPF if they participate in the Big Titty Bash.
Leslie Bates says
From the RPF? They need to put on some weight.
Old Surfer Dude says
Yeah, you’re right, Leslie. They may come out looking like a gaggle of Twiggies…
Chee Chalker says
Get your minds out of the gutter….so mine can float on by!
I thought it said ‘Big Title Bash’. Like a title fight…maybe TC IS coming to beat people up!
NOLAGirl says
Not necessarily. I’m a woman and I saw that at first too.
Font problems are just one of Scientology’s many issues. 😀
Old Surfer Dude says
What are you saying, NOLAGirl???? That I got it all wrong and they’ll be no Big Titty Bash? Well that sucks….
Mike Wynski says
OSD, how can it suck? 😉
Old Surfer Dude says
Do I need to state the obvious? Big. Titty. Bash.
Mike Wynski says
I meant, in the ABSENCE of that. 😉
Ann B Watson says
Hi NOLAGirl, I said to hubby Walter,Guess what Scientology is having a big titty bash in Miami.If that doesn’t get you to join up,nothing will!I saw the promo that way too.Pretty funny! Cos always right all the time no matter how foolish they may look.
Have a great weekend.Your posts mean alot to me.xo Ann.
Rick Mycroft says
“[..] in the Atrium of the New Flag Building”
What happened to the old Flag Building, did they break it already?
Old Surfer Dude says
LMAO! Nice!
Newcomer says
Show me something not broken in Scientology and you will receive a free gift.
Old Surfer Dude says
Wait! No, that’s not going to work. Well they….no. Oh I know it’s…..no. You win, Coop. EVERYTHING is broken in Scientology.
james hollingsworth says
I read that first promo piece as “”Miami’s big tittie bash”. I need more caffeine
Old Surfer Dude says
No, you’re good where you are….
I Yawnalot says
I just can’t make up my mind which is my favorite flyer this week… they are all so good!
The old CF ones rate a high mention as always. It’s the only activity in any org where they can all get together and be involved with each other intellectually – alphabetical order is the only postulate they can all agree on and they feel comfortable talking to each other about without the threat of KRs or being reported on. It does beg the question how the filing got so out of whack in the first place but a Scientologist is never bothered in knowing the details of things past or present, COB gives them all they need to know in that respect by channeling their attention to eternity. Think I’ll go sit on the porch for a bit.
Kuato Lives says
Scientologists just love the Matrix. Do they realize the creators of the Matrix are both transgender? They are now the Wachowski sisters, previously Wachowski brothers.
Mike Rinder says
More importantly – do those scientologists know it is about them?
Old Surfer Dude says
Since their arrogance knows no bounds, I’m going to say, ‘yes.’
RooDog13 says
It may have been stated here on the blog previously, but what exactly are people doing with the Central Files and what exactly are they? I am intrigued as to why a pile of papers in Tampa requires so much begging.
Old Surfer Dude says
The Central Files contain all the names of anyone who did any services at any org. My name, I’m sure, is on the list of the Orange County Org Central Files in Santa Ana. I left 34 years ago, and, of course, I don’t have the same address or phone number anymore. But, their staff are required to go through all Central Files, one letter at a time, because nobody new is walking through their doors. But…I’m sure they have fun doing it, right?
Rick Mycroft says
Ron and Andromeda Edison used to be listed on a lot of Scientology’s domain registrations. When they dropped off of those, I wondered if they’d blown.
JennyAtLAX says
Re: “Speaking of CF”
“With your help,” writes Tampa org, “we’ll take our FIRST Ideal Org to Double Saint Hill Size…”
That’s a capital “S” in the word “size”; Size matters, doesn’t it, David “Ruthless” Miscavige?
Re: “…all the ‘ideal’ PAC execs were replaced in one fell swoop.” (“AOLA is Circling the Drain,” April 13, 2016.)
LA Org has brand-new “free” film tickets to go along with their brand-new executives.
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w25/JennyAtLAX/Scientology%20Litters%20Los%20Angeles/An%20Intro%20to%20Scn%20Front_zps8c6iycfk.jpeg
“Free” Ticket: An Introduction to Scientology (Front)
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w25/JennyAtLAX/Scientology%20Litters%20Los%20Angeles/An%20Intro%20to%20Scn%20Rear_zpsdxsi3du1.jpeg
“Free” Ticket: An Introduction to Scientology (Rear)
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w25/JennyAtLAX/Scientology%20Litters%20Los%20Angeles/Book%20One%20Front_zpstnzujggq.jpeg
“Free” Ticket: The Story of Book One, Dianetics: the Modern Science of Mental Health (Front)
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w25/JennyAtLAX/Scientology%20Litters%20Los%20Angeles/Book%20One%20Reart_zpsrrjpedwb.jpeg
“Free” Ticket: The Story of Book One, Dianetics: the Modern Science of Mental Health (Rear)
Originally posted to JennyAtLAX, “Scientology Litters Los Angeles,” April 13, 2016.
https://jennyatlax.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/scientology-litters-los-angeles/
Nezquik says
You know, the other day a friend of mine was debriefed, behind closed doors of course, about the ‘juggernauting’ SMP opening.
I’ve come to the conclusion that they just don’t understand how little respect and credibility they command.
They told my buddy that, after a rigorous survey of “every country in the world”, they have identified 30 ‘enemy lines’, created documentaries damning them and branding them as the criminals they are, and that these ‘documentaries’ will be broadcasted on the network.
Forgetting the implausibility of that survey every actually going out to all countries, what the hell is an enemy line? It’s so vague that one would think it means anyone with a beef with Scientology, yet, how come there are merely 30 lines? I could right now think of more than thirty people/media sources that dislike Scientology. (It makes me wonder which enemy lines didn’t make the top 30.)
Additionally, they’ve tried the smear documentaries before with no success; why do they think people will now start believing the lies they tell?
Because they don’t realize how little the world thinks of them. When you have the answers to the universe, it’s easy to forget the musings of some WOGs.
Of course, they have a snitching system in place, where people can report crimes that may be ignored by corrupt cops/crooked politicians. The question is, how are they going to verify the validity of these claims? Anyone could say something about a disliked neighbor and *poof* SMP will air whatever they hear. (I wonder if I could report David Mismunchkin for his crimes…)
They also plan on having their celebrities do these “totally unscripted talk shows.” Like that will help with their awful PR.
“David Miscavage has been planning this for a decade!”
No, he’s just been ripping money out of you for a decade on a project that could’ve taken a year. Just like the Super Power building before it; how much help has that done for planetary clearing? You guys must’ve forgot about that lie in lie of this bright, shiny new lie.
In summation, these pathetic fucks have really convinced themselves of how important this is.
Scott Henderson says
Welcome to The Bitter Apostate Feud!
Let’s give a big hand for your host, the Most Bitter and Defrocked Apostate of them all: Mike Rinder!
“Thank you, thank you! Let’s welcome the Ortega family and the de la Carriere Family!
First question “Name 30 ‘enemy lines’ of the Church of Scientology”
Karen: The American Medical Association! (crowd oohs and ahhs “good answer!)
Survey says……number 3!
Tony: The Internet! (much ‘good answer’ from the crowd)
Survey says…..number 1
-wash, rinse, repeat-
Newcomer says
I just want to know how I can get on the list and I definitely want my own frickin line.
Yo Dave,
Newsflash ………… there are way more than 30 enemy lines out here on the fringes good buddy. In fact that list is on a 47x exponential growth curve. It’s called straight up and vertical ………..Dave!
Old Surfer Dude says
Coop, I can give you the Surfer’s Line if you’d like. And it goes like this: Whoa! Surfs up Dudes!
John P. Capitalist says
“they have identified 30 ‘enemy lines’, created documentaries damning them and branding them as the criminals they are”
I wonder if each “enemy line” is not a single individual but is a large-scale conspiracy to impede Mankind’s Best Friend(tm) from clearing the planet. In Hubbard’s day, they had “Smersh” and a couple of other shadowy evil global organizations dedicated to crushing Scientology (“Smersh” included the psychs, IIRC).
It stands to reason that Miscavige, in yet another attempt to explain away the increasingly empty buildings and the plummeting membership, has to allege that there are even more organizations dedicated to suppressing the liberators of this prison planet.
You’re right that the ultimate “suppression” is not creating an organization to attack Scientology actively, but to ignore it until they do something to get up on society’s radar screens for a brief moment, and when that happens, to ridicule and mock them mercilessly. As you imply, they just don’t matter in the cosmic scheme of things to the world as a whole. The only reason to pay them any attention at all is the damage they do to their members’ lives and to the families of those members who are disconnected from them.
statpush says
In reality an enemy line is anything that makes Scientology, the church, Hubbard, or senior executives look bad. The data contained in the enemy line may be 100% factual and accurate. Doesn’t matter. If it does harm or is potentially harmful, its an enemy line.
It will be interesting to see how they combat the enemy line with documentaries, especially the ones that are true.
Knowing how the church operates, they will once again shoot themselves in the foot. Instead of combatting the enemy line they will likely end up promoting it.
Aquamarine says
That’s interesting, statpush. You’ve just explained to me why an and ex-SO OT I knew told me that Debbie Cooke’s email was “enemy line”. I couldn’t understand how the precise, referenced quoting of LRH tech and admin policies could be labeled “enemy line” but now I do. Wow.
Newcomer says
Maybe they will have Tom be the actor playing the ethics officer “ruthlessly getting ethics in on the planet”!
Ann B Watson says
Hi Newcomer,What a post.I can’t get that image out of my head,what a nightmare! TC is so far from remotely understanding any truth that the thought of him as the ethics officer “ruthlessly getting ethics in on the planet”,has me rolling on the floor laughing!Thank you,Always,Ann.
shelgold says
The fact is: if they just helped people and didn’t do all the crazy, they wouldn’t have to worry so much. But the list of their crimes is endless, simply going no further than broken up families/friends and bankrupted parishioners.
No amount of sophomoric smear “documentaries” will restore respect for an organization that so blatantly violates basic human rights.
NOLAGirl says
So true Sheldon. They refuse to see how bad their image truly is outside of the bubble. Even if they get SMP up and running with 24/7 smear pieces, no one is going to believe them but the die-hard Kool-Aid drinkers and they will only serve to push those with doubts further out.
A tipping point has been reached. It’s all downhill from here Dave.
Old Surfer Dude says
I think they hit the tipping point in 1991. Scientology: Shrinking for 25 years running….
james hollingsworth says
Prepharation H (hubbard): Whatever you put this stuff on, IT’S GONNA SHRINK!
Old Surfer Dude says
FOTFLMAO! Now that’s some funny shit!
Feeisme says
As a never in, I have a question…Kate Gordon, says that Scientology is the only group saving the planet and humanity…. How? what are the doing? Do they feed the homeless? Soup kitchens? Do they sponsor education and housing for at risk teen mothers? Do they sponsor or volunteer for beach clean ups? As far as I can see, they just keep collecting money or have seminars about making money…. They seem far more concerned with cash than the planet.
Mike Rinder says
Nail. Meet hammer.
Old Surfer Dude says
Feeisme, all the activities you listed, freed the homeless, man soup kitchens, sponsor education and housing for at risk teen mothers, volunteer for beach clean up, is completely CI (Counter intention, meaning your not with the program). These are things the cult would never, ever do, They consider the homeless to be DBs (degraded beings) who are not worthy of help. They cult does nothing for anyone who’s not a Scientologist. They even abuse their own members with Slave Labor/Reeducation Camps.
“As far as I can see, they just keep collecting money or have seninars about making money…They seemed far more concerned with cash than the planet.” As Mike posted, Nail. Meet Hammer
Snake Thompson's Ghost says
If you think about it, the old slogan “To make the able more able” already excludes the disabled, the not-too-able, and the not-able-enough from the program.
Old Surfer Dude says
Well, OF COURSE! They’re DBs, aren’t they?
Chee Chalker says
Feeisme…..who needs soup kitchens when you can remodel an airplane hangar and polish light bulbs for Tom Cruise, the #3 Big Being….. C’mon, now I have to write a KR on you…..
Old Surfer Dude says
You better, Chee! Or else! That’s a high crime you’re looking at…
Newcomer says
Did you know that RTC has a website where you can post KRs. It can be found here:
https://www.rtc.org/matters/intro.html
I think we should take full responsibility for our actions and tell Dave what the fuck is really going on out here. I mean OSD should have had a KR written on him long ago! 🙂
Here is the question: How long will it be before they take the link down?
Old Surfer Dude says
I swear, Coop! I didn’t know she was a messenger. Honest!
Old Surfer Dude says
I tried to send a Knowledge Report, but, their system wouldn’t let me.
Hennessy says
Whenever children are brought into the discussion of human rights by the church through its United for Human Rights, it makes me angry. It brings back all the bad memories of fighting for my kids to keep them out of the Sea Org, and all the times I was strong armed over it. My children were minors at the time too, and all under the age of 16. These were very stressful times for the family, and went on for over a decade. They busy themselves with vaccine mandates for public schools and want to ‘advise’ everyone, while ignoring or staying quiet about the kid-stealing that went on for decades in the church. It makes me sick. And no, I don’t want to hear what LRH had to say about how medicine. I already know, and it’s not good.
alcoboy says
I went on the UN website the other day to find information on United for Human Rights and there was nothing. The UN has their own materials for disseminating the Declaration. So it makes me ask the IAS: WTF?
Newcomer says
Better report it to RTC Alcoboy or you will be in lowers yourself. See the link I posted above.
alcoboy says
Fuck it. Any KR I would write on the subject would be quickly hid and forgotten. Website notwithstanding.
marie guerin says
Yes! it makes me angry too! they want to protect children? that’s a laugh.
The recruiters seduce children and end their childhood dreams in the most brutal manner.
And there is nothing a parent can do short of stalking their teenager every minute of the day to keep the recruiters at bay.
Eventually , a parent can keep them from going in the sea org but the pressure is unbelievable and the damage done to these children takes a long time to repair.
Mike Wynski says
Mr. Bob must be having fun getting ready to deliver 9 & 10. I guess it doesn’t matter. Anything DM pulls out of his butt will be as ineffective as what El Con would have.
Old Surfer Dude says
You know, Mike, like you, I’m wondering what the midget will, indeed, pull out of his ass. Of course, he has to make it all up and the clams will shout that’s the is the Greatest Man Alive.
Mike Wynski says
OSD, cannot WAIT to see the success stories from those who are stupid enough to shell out for 9&10. They’ll have to invent a new language to correctly capture the hype.
Old Surfer Dude says
New language, eh? Ok, how about Pig Latin. Ouya area uckedfa’d. Anda otna ina oodga aywa.
Lori S says
I recently attended a fundraiser for a local non-profit that provides prom dresses and accessories to girls who cannot afford such items. It was standard fair for a fundraiser: Dinner, wine, beer, silent auction, raffles, a couple of fun split-the-pot type games, a few guest speakers and a local news celebrity as a host. It was a very nice event. The ticket price was $75; not out of my price range, but still more than I would spend for a typical night out. I support the mission of the non-profit, so I was happy to attend. The proceeds of this event went to start a scholarship program for girls who work hard in school, but have no resources to attend college. The four hour event raised $25,000. What struck me was how the Director was so grateful for the 200 people who dressed up and came out on a cold February evening to support the cause. She also emphasized that this was a once a decade fundraiser. The organization is not making this an annual event. They do two other fundraising events a year which involve selling boxed lunches for $10 each. Some individuals who support the organization do their own private fundraising, such as holding a tennis mixer, that raises $300 – $1,000. As another example of fundraising done right, my church holds an Octoberfest event for the local community. The church also has one spring dance for adults with dinner, drinks, etc. That is about it in terms of fundraising. I cannot imagine receiving letter after letter about events like they do in Scientology. After a few letters, I would stop opening the envelopes and just trash them. The attendance at Scientology events is so small, yet they continue to try and sell these events as monumental. If I attend a “monumental” event and only eight other people show up, I would be able to read the writing on the wall: this organization is on the verge of extinction.
Scott Henderson says
Well stated Lori. That is how fundraising is conducted in the real world, not the “beat ’em ’till they bleed then beat ’em some more” world of the monumentally insignificant and breathtakingly inconsequential shrinking orb of Scientology.
Cindy says
Good post, Lori S
SILVIA says
The idea I get with summer at the Freewinds is:
-can’t leave unless they authorize you
-can’t leave unless you pay money for ideal bubbles
-very expensive
-a small vessel compared with the real cruises
-boring
lawgrrl34 says
On the Vaccine event, does that mean they are preaching against it? We’ve had two major mumps outbreaks here recently. I hope not. These are preventable illnesses that have killed small children.
scnethics says
They are definitely going to preach against vaccines at that event.
Old Surfer Dude says
Oh, terrific! More kids getting illnesses that could have been prevented with vaccines. Is Scientology part of the Flat Earth Society?
Aquamarine says
So now the cult is against polio vaccines? Incredible.
Old Surfer Dude says
Seriously? The cult is against polio vaccines? How do they expect people to get better? Touch assists?
Espiando says
I think they think Hubbard thought the polio vaccine was unnecessary. After all, Dianetics, which solves everything, came out four years before the polio vaccine. To them, polio vaccine is just another poison that needs to be run out by the Putrif.
And speaking of running out stuff, has anyone ever heard a Putrif “success story” that involves someone running out a vaccine? We’ve heard shit about old sunburns coming back and even more nonsensical stuff, but we’ve never heard about anyone bragging that they sweated out an MMR. Maybe that’s why Jenny McCarthy, who’s a complete flake and mammoth cult bait, hasn’t joined up yet. No one’s told her about the miracle that is the Putrif.
Scott Henderson says
“Summer on the Freewinds?”
Long-legged, nubile regs dressed like Herrena the Henna-Haired Harlot? (You did ask for an object)
Gimpy says
Summer on the freewinds = several weeks of little rest as you spend every waking moment on edge expecting to be robbed of your money or to join the merry crew of pirates.
Old Surfer Dude says
After going a couple of times to the Fleecewinds, you’d think they’d have learned their lesson and stay away.
Myrklix says
Amongst all these funnies, the most interesting part was learning about the Falkirk Wheel in Scotland. Thanks for posting that, Mike! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falkirk_Wheel
Roger Y says
I thought the exact same thing
Old Surfer Dude says
Yep, the Falkirk Wheel is pretty bitchin.’