Has Jeanie lost her mind?
She is going to deliver the Class 8 course in Cincinnati? Never mind the fact there is no Class VI course which is a prerequisite to Class VIII.
Confirm your attendance in the UK
We are not telling you the date, but confirm anyway. It’s vital. And this will be EPIC.
My thoughts exactly Josie Morgan…
Good News
We need more money from you.
Half Humanitarianships…
Should appeal to the Scots. But these numbers make absolutely NO sense.
Are there any Scots in Scotland?
Seems everyone at the HAPI org is from Eastern Europe?
Building the “next” ideal org
They don’t tell you when events are being held and now they don’t tell you who they are raising money for. It’s just the “next one.”
Thinking Really Big
Let’s round up 40 scientologists in the vast Valley territory for the most important thing in the history of the universe…
More Big Thinking
Remember, this is an “ideal” org — and they are so proud of a single Dianetics book completion. Epic.
And even bigger think
100 people on Solo auditing seems an unreachable target for AOSHUK. There are nearly 70 million people in the British Isles. Means right now they have less than 1 in a million on Solo auditing. They are “shooting for” 1 in 700,000. Woopee!
What do you get?
An increase of available empty space.
An opening like every other
Photo op for Dear Leader in time for the IAS event. You can bet this one won’t be a “one time only” showing in an org near you.
Tremendous power is flown to you
You Can’t Miss This
We need more money because we promised Ron we would get lots of money and we must fulfill our promise to Ron.
We also promised Ron…
We would do our filing. And brush our teeth. And eat our vegetables. We are a bit slow on the filing. You know, like 40 years from when we made this “promise” but we have been brushing our teeth.
Speaking of Ron…
Does anyone actually READ these things? Couldn’t they at least edit out the last sentence? Things are so robotic, they have been using this same quote now for 40 years and nobody dares change it!
What, no food?
Pasadena SH Size
Still trying (and failing) after all these years…
A moral issue
If you don’t give your money you are immoral.
Photo Op
Come one, come all. We need people we can shoot. You won’t need to be there for more than an hour. 
You can’t handle the truth
Wonder what would happen if Michael Chan told the real truth — he only does this to make money.
Everyone has a poster girl
Notice any similarity here?
Step off planet earth
And into the Twilight Zone of 24 hour a day regging.
What happened to AOSHEU?
Stockholm is really near to Copenhagen? Not enough public in the UK to keep AOSHUK afloat?
They apparently don’t get the irony
Mighty My Mammy not only doesn’t realize LRH is dead, they seem to have gone completely brain dead. No need to explain further.
More Insanity
What is even crazier is announcing it to the world…
Who’s copying who?
Is scientology copying Trump or is he copying scientology? Now they are discounting their statuses? Scientology usually offers them at 50%. Trump has undercut them to 25%. Is a status price war about to break out?
For some reason they have inconsistent dates. They must have the same proofreaders as scientology too…
Final Funnies
Sent in by reader from the East Bay Times. Very proper with the logo and lettering…
Re More insanity: guessing Annica Johanson’s first language is not English (UK or US) since her spelling is terrible and even inconsistent. “Payed” and “paied”. The grammar is also poor. I am a grammar Nazi, feel my jackboots! Hope the bank turns down their loan and they learn their lesson, never spend what you do not have; I believe this is somewhere amongst LRH’s missives, one of his more sane pieces of advice.
She’s Swedish. Considering both the spelling and the fact she payed for courses without having a bank loan approved… She probably only completed the mandatory nine years of school before getting a job. Not all of us are this gullible.
I hope the couple waiting for the bank loan had someone who can spell help them fill out the paperwork.
Speaking of funnies, I received an ad from Atlanta ideal org to today advertising the Survival Rundown. The ad said most people go through life with only 25% of their awareness in the present and that the Survival Rundown brings you to 100% awareness.
Considering my last name is Sprinkle and the letter was addresses to Doug Pringle I can only assume that whoever addressed the envelope does not have the 100% awareness as advertised.
Hi Doug, Loved your comment.Yes when a letter or an address is incomprehensible to the receiver,the sender looks off kilter.xo
Re: Confirm your attendance in the UK
Dear Miriam Bright: You can’t extend a “personal invitation” to an unspecified individual (such as, in this promo piece, “Dear IAS Member”).
Re: My thoughts exactly Josie Morgan…
I wonder just how long it’ll take for an Ethics Officer to haul poor Josie’s butt in for what will be referred to as “nattering.”
Re: Building the “next” ideal org
From Race for the Future’s website: “All event expenses are covered by our generous sponsors, so no donor funds are ever used for anything other than building Ideal Orgs everywhere!”
That’s quite a generality. Everywhere? Even in Hubbardsville, New York?
Re: Thinking Really Big
If Quinn really wanted to reach the Humanitarians for the Valley Ideal Org project, he’d be calling them or addressing a letter or email to each and every one of them, personally, by their name. Poor Quinn can’t even tell who attended last’s week’s OTC. Would somebody please get this group a Sign-In Sheet?
Re: More Big Thinking
Roberto Banke has Gotten Rid of his Reactive Mind at the Orange County Ideal Org! After Completing the Dianetics Book and Lectures and Demonstrations Course, He’s Now Known as “Roberto E”!
Sincerely,
Fred G. Haseney & JennyAtLAX
HimJenny, Thank you so much for your comments.Made my afternoon! Xo to you two.
I have just received the latest “United for an Ideal ANZO” glossy brochure in the post today.
Mike, your brother and sister-in-law have their photo included as they’ve upped their status to Gold Contributor…
Sally Garden and Trevor Wilkinson have become Triple Humanitarians too (although they don’t look too happy in their photo)
I just wish there was a way to STOP the Aussies contributing to an Idle Morgue for Auckland. Don’t they have a Morgue in their own country they should be paying for?
On the plus side though, hopefully this old building will get a quality fit out and be ready for the new tenants when the Morgue fails and dies. 😀
:…elite team…” meaning deep pockets and a robotic need to hand over money.
Is it my imagination or has Scots Wha’ Hae, or whatever the hell it is, seems to have stopped using photos of children lately?
100 Solo Auditors? Could it mean that everything is going down and they’re being pressured/hassled/harassed into getting the dollars rolling in again.
Should read. “This will be like an opening like every other opening. Carefully staged. Not open to the reality outside the bubble universe. And regges galore to hit you up for the NEXT GREAT THING WHICH WON’T BE HAPPENING FOR HUBBARD EONS BUT WE THOUGHT WE’D GET IN EARLY ANYWAY.
I just had a thought, C.F. Project does not mean Central Files Project, it stands for Can’t Finish Project (I was going to say Currently F–ked Project but I’m being polite).
Annica Johanson – I,uh, er, my brain hurts.
That photo of Trump gives blow up sex dolls a very bad name.
So if you go for the cl.8 training, you will do earlier auditor levels 0-4 there ? what about the shsbc ? where did it go ?? what is going oh at asho and the other orgs that did offer those courses ? nothing is what i think.
Hi Mike, I love the power flowing towards me as The Rustbucket once again sets sail with those OTs with $.The young lady and her can do cans gave me an instant headache and to top it off Ron is Still Around!XO
Big Story on GlobalNewswire – the most respected source of information on the planet….no make that the universe.
Apparently according to the story $cientology Information Center is going to honor workers on Labor Day.
For one whole day the midget has promised not to kick the shit out of anybody. What a guy!
I have a caption for the Lron pic with him in his sailor suit. “Pull my finger!!”
The Valley will never finish as there must be too much money floating around and no mOrg opens until all the money is pulled out of the clams. I do however want to take my Volvo there for service.
Pull my finger! Classic! Never gets old! Hey zemooo, pull my finger!
The delusional world within Scientology, in picture form. Remarkable!
Class 8 indeed! They wouldn’t know what Scientology was even if it bit ’em on the butt. At least the Scots aren’t using children this week, that’s an advancement, just the medieval terminology relating to swords instead. Swords, yuck, one of the more gory of weapons, really messy and very, very scary to ever be placed in position of having to use one. But even so, it’s all about the money!
That Chan fellow… now he cracks me up. Would love to have a personal conversation with him over a beer, sure would create a giggle or two.
That facebook message about the postulates and the incomplete cycle with the bank loan – Yikkes! The intelligence level is a bit of a worry, they probably deserve Scientology – an equally disturbing thought.
Donald Trump??? I’m half a world away from the United States and Trump even worries me here. Now he’s being positioned with the modern day Scientology tech which leads to begging by force, intimidation & trickery. I really don’t know what to think about that. Makes me appreciate my age and the indifference it brings, I don’t want to play in that zone. Think I’ll stick my head in a bucket of sand in November – I really don’t want to know who becomes the most powerful person in the world, decided in a race between those two. Good luck America, I think you’re going to need it.
Jeannie Sonenfild lost her mind many years ago….she is absolutely BAT SHIT CRAZY.
Scientology killed Chris Kasle – 60 ish years old Staff member – died of heart attack this year.
David Sonenfild is BAT SHIT CRAZY TOO! Read “Sir Galiant’s escape on Ex Scientology Message Board. Those two have no personal integrity and would stomp on their own son to get a stat.
They both are crush REGGES.
Heard David Sonenfild has routed off staff and is very ill….anyone know?
Jeannie Sonenfild defines elite by $$$$$$$$$ she can bilk and extort out of you.
I’ve had run ins with David Sonenfeld even in the 80’s. He was a bully then and sounds like he went downhill from there.
@Trump – Does that look like an LRH pose? Pointing to the horizon? Creepy.
@Final Cartoon – They just might take it, if they can flip it and make a profit.
@AOSHEU/AOSHUK – usually when you see this its because they’ve had a really bad experience with their local AO, swore they’d never go back and opted to go to the other.
@Annica – ahhh….I remember the mindset. There aren’t enough happy thoughts in the world to pull you out of shitter. Just gonna have to “make to go right”, Annica. Tough love from the School of Hard Knocks.
Question – I thought all of the promo generation for orgs were supposed to be handled by Central Marketing, so they could standardize and control the quality and image of the org? They promo pieces look like they were either done by a child or someone who just discovered Photoshop. Some of them are really, really bad. I guess no one really cares anymore. Not that a bad promo piece is going to ruin their already fucked reputation.
Regarding yet another empty building, remember that the CoS has to stash all that tax exempt money somewhere.
Edited above flyer for lies:
Have fun and empty your children’s college fund(s) or donate one or more to the SO.
100% of all donations go to COB’s off shore accounts.
Bhahahahahahahahahaha! A career like no other indeed.
Long hours, horrible pay, co-workers who become your only social life, who also snitch on you if you step off the reservation with ANYTHING at ANYTIME, no pension, no retirement plan, no guaranteed Bridge, no healthcare, dental, chiro, etc. Earn pennies on the hour for retirement, save money by living like a college kid in a dorm eating crappy food for as long as your body can tolerate. Little to no vacation time, vacation requires near impossible CSWs and you HAVE to get your post covered or no-go. Bonus! By signing up to help, you open yourself up to personal attack by random Sea Org missions that come in to sabotage or otherwise disrupt what harmony exists in small pockets – or they will get you from LA (or your nearest cont office). If you get sick or leave staff before your contract, you pay for any courses or services because after all you are a freeloader and all that time you spent means nothing, plus you are blacklisted until you do conditions and make up the damage which includes many many more hours of free work and lots of money. And should you stick it out for 2.5, 5 years or even longer, you soon will only have Scientology friends. And if you step out of line then, the Office of Suppressive Affairs (OSA) or it’s right hand, HCO, will cut you off from those people you thought were “friends” … so your invested time is wasted.
By the way, even if your contract is done you will be forced to re-sign or it becomes an ethics situation for which your crimes will be discovered! Then such is used as leverage, yes they draw from Terl’s SOP (Battlefield Earth) to get you to re-sign a contract or get permanently placed into Department 3. And no severance package. But you get to feel like you are “clearing the planet” (no nebulous unobtainable goals here).
Finally, while dealing with all the drama, because the greatest good is sometimes hard, your youthful years are wasted where you could have learned real skills to help real people in the world and done something, and even gotten paid for it. And maybe one day you will wake up, but hopefully you aren’t too old to start over.
But hey, Corn on the COB said the planet would be cleared, the psychs gone so how can we go wrong? It wont matter if I am OT Super Power pole runner with flagellatus maximus status.
Hey, where do I sign up?
That just about sums it all up. Unfortunately Scientology is the final frontier for some, but it leaves a scar one way or the other whomever it touches.
Bravo
Michael, I’ll sign up with you……but only if we get to join the Sea Org.
Nailed it.
Annica Johanson must be from Bulgravia .
Big hello from LRHs Bulgravia .
The San Diego sweetie almost makes me want to join staff again
only question is :Do the Carpets match the Drapes ?”
She’s a cracker hey? Better suited to sitting on a Ferrari I reckon. In the long run a Ferrari would be cheaper than Scientology!
I’m sure she has a new Red Ferrari, OT 8 and IAS Humanitarian all paid for by her sugar daddy. Thinking more before Scientology I bought new cars from the dealers showroom
after in the church everything used some rolling junk.
LOL Jose, only women are supposed to worry about things like that. A man isn’t supposed to care 😉
“The biggest win is that I am myself without anything added” – Marcus of Sweden attesting to Clear …. oh Marcus Marcus Marcus … if you only knew … yourself with nothing added? … No, you’re not allowed to attest to “natural OT7”
I am myself without anything added??? How do you think that makes your body thetans feel? What are they…chopped liver? Face it, Marcus, you’re an asshole!
Is Marcus an asshole? After Clear, the longest duration colonoscopy is performed. Have a pleasant life Marcus.
Love that cartoon? Gives new meaning to “bodies in the shop.” The church may as well start taking the dead.
So much of the rest of this just elicites sadness.
If they’re not brainwashed now, they soon will be…
yea…or dead.
I stand corrected. Or dead….
Bodies in the shop? The Worlds Fastest Growing Religion doesn’t need bodies in the shop. You don’t have to physically exist to a member of the The Worlds Fastest Growing Religion!
Maybe CO$ needs to borrow a practice from the Mormons and start auditing/clearing the dead. Your twin is some dead relative, and fees are charged for both entities. We’re about due for a resurgence in spiritualism, so it might work.
Leigh, MOST of the OT levels is about that already. 😉
Re no date IAS Anniversary: I understand that scientologists expect you to give all their time to them, but am glad even those still in are complaining about a lack of date. Out here in the real world, our schedules get busy fast. Two weeks ago I was at my cousin’s house and we were planning a weekend for she and her husband to come visit my husband and me. The weekend of October 7 is the first one all four of us were free. And that is for something we all want to happen.
Re needing 40 OT committee members to attend a meeting. Hmmm…according to their own minutes from May to July the active members hovered in the low 20s with a spike to 35 which dropped immediately so 40 members attending when 40 members don’t exist? THAT’s realistic (not).
Re paying in advance for OT I-V with non existent money: did they write a check for that? When it bounces, will scientology prosecute them for felony check fraud? The fake money would have been better spent on spelling and grammar lessons.
This annual UK gathering of the facefull, er, faithful is indeed a big deal on the $cn calendar of miraculous events, ranking only slightly lower on the scale of infinite epicness than Elron’s b-day. So, one would logically expect there to be a grand turn out of whales and celebs.
However, with all the entheta swirling about that just won’t die down, and all the super-powered, roto-rooting regging that the poor whales have been subjected to (in order to loosen their flows ;), my bet is that fewer and fewer folks are going to want to make that scene. No matter how much fun and free champagne is promised, there’s an even greater certainty that there will be a whole division of sharply dressed reges circling the room like sharks, not even waiting for the IAS honorees to put down their bowling trophies after coming down from the stage to attack!
And where the heck is 3rd BIGGEST Being Tom these days. He’s been keeping an incredibly low profile in his anointed role as $cn’s dessiminator-in-chief lately. So, it will be interesting to see if he or any other of the dwindling number of prominent celebs cross the pond this year. And I’ll bet that because every yearly event on the $cn calendar has become just another whale-milking day celebration, that many of the big donors will politely bow out as well.
But, who knows for sure. Perhaps if $cn luminaries who are being pressured to attend this or that event and are waffling on making a commitment to attend, their designated whale tenders are now authorized to promise them that they will not be pressure-regged at the event in order to close them on attending. Sound nefarious and calculating? Well, that’s $cn in a nutshell!
You know, instead of giving out useless paper statuses and garish bowling trophies to their big donor whales, what they should do is give them “get out of reg free” passes that could be shown at any big event like this one to stop a reg dead in his tracks at 10 paces and turn him away to attack the less fortunate 😉 I say, why not give them something that they’re REALLY going to value in exchange for those fat checks!
Re: the final cartoon….those are the only kind of ‘bodies in the shop’ they get these days
That’s not nice……having go-carts that COB won’t qualify to use….
Wow, Florence Kentucky is chock a block full of Class VI auditors just waiting to do the Class VIII Course! Who knew?
Just in! No True Scotsman is a scamologist anymore. 😉
Annica – Spell check, just a suggestion
…or (re)take that English As A Second Language course.
…..or open your eyes and and wake the f*ck up.
Only scientology would get someone to pay for something like Annica johanson has without even getting the bank loan approved. I well remember getting huge bank loans for services which took so long to actually happen that by the time I was even at that point most of the money had long ago disappeared on things like library campaigns, donating WTH, and other such vital actions. Long after you even forget what money was supposed to be for in the first place you are still repaying the loan, and working out the minumum payments you can make on your credit cards, and still being encouraged to borrow more money for the next big thing.
And all that $ for a Bridge to Nowhere.
Many will argue with me but I’d still do the Bridge when KSW was first written. I found it fun what I did of it and the people delivering it were genuine and friendly..No big reg events and all your money went to either your auditing, training and/or materials, no demands for donations for the greatest good/number etc. Then Miscavige’s grip got tighter and NOTs entered the scene. Even the most able succumbed to that stuff. It’s got nothing to do with anything except introversion and being a cash cow. I don’t care what is and isn’t Hubbard endorsed, I just know what I would like and to hell with people insisting I’m wrong for it!
Can you really get bank loans for things like that where you are? I very much doubt it’s possible in Sweden (where I’m guessing she’s from with that name). Looks like life’s going to 100% harder for the poor girl and her 2D.
She was probably instructed to lie about the purpose for the loan. Home improvements, wedding, college expenses, automobile purchase, etc.
You never tell the truth on a loan for scn services, my favorite was ‘professional courses’ the implication being that I was studying to become a lawyer or something. I was amazed at how deeply the banks allowed me to go in debt, especially as I had around $40K of credit card debt at the same time.
I think poor Josie Morgan is going to get sec checked to within an inch of her life. Josie; start saving your loose change.
What loose change?
I think Jeannie is advertising for staff auditors, who she will put on the TTC (Tech Training Corps) and they go down for the multi-year training at Clearwater for becoming Class 8 case sups or auditors for coming back to Cinncy, that’s a normal TTC recruitment pitch.
Promise to make a person into the top OT 3, Class 8 TTC training heights that they can allow.
But she’s not delivering the lineup at Cinncy, she’s promising to send new hires down to Flag for the training lineup to Class 8 C/S to come back and do duty at Cinncy, that is allowed per the rules, and a tiny tiny fraction of people ever make it.
I doubt anyone has done so yet for Cinncy, but Jeannie’s doing what Ron would wish, at least when Ron years earlier was still wishing for the moon for all his members, but as the HBO documentary “GOing Clear….” shows, at the end of Ron’s life he was doubting everything and he asked for the suicide Emeter to blast the troublesome “body thetans” off himself, and failed at that!
Jeannie’s a leader in the glorious leader into the Blue Sky Scientology world, to lure new young dupes to become OT and top Class 8s and work for Cinncy, she is.
IT’s a huge false lure. But then, Jeannie herself is a Class 8 C/S and she’s been around like 40-50 years now at this game, and so she’s a walking example of “success” at the whole shebang Blue Sky of L. Ron Hubbard’s Scientology lineup.