Marlow Stern has written an excellent piece in the Daily Beast concerning the relationship between David Miscavige, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman: How Nicole Kidman Almost Got Tom Cruise to Leave Scientology.
It is the 20 year anniversary of Eyes Wide Shut, the Stanley Kubrick film that was the catalyst for them nearly breaking away from scientology.
There is little to add to Marlow’s excellent reporting other than to reiterate that this piece highlights the inhumane practice of disconnection in scientology.
Scientology claims disconnection is a “personal choice” — but in reality the “choice” is either remain in scientology and disconnect from the person who has been deemed a Suppressive, or refuse to disconnect, be declared yourself and have friends, family, employers and employees disconnect from you. It’s a literal Sophie’s Choice and some (like Sara Goldberg) have had to choose between their children. When someone else is dictating your “choice” it is not a “personal choice.” (Here is an earlier article I wrote on this subject: Disconnection — Scientology’s Spin).
Scientology policy is clear.
These are listed as “High Crimes (Suppressive Acts)” that will cause you to be declared a Suppressive Person according to L. Ron Hubbard’s policy:
Continued adherence to a person or group pronounced Suppressive by HCO
Failure to handle or disavow and disconnect from a person demonstrably guilty of Suppressive Acts
Nicole was asked to choose between her parents and her husband/children.
The best statement on this matter is from Nicole — who has maintained tight-lips on the subject of the end of her relationship with Tom and departure from scientology: “Motherhood is about the journey. There are going to be incredible peaks and valleys, whether you are an adopting mother or a birth mother. What a child needs is love. They have made choices to be Scientologists. It’s our job as a parent to always offer unconditional love.”
Unconditional love is a concept not found in scientology. It speaks volumes as to why she is no longer a scientologist. Her attitude just isn’t compatible with the cult mindset.
I guess, if Mrs. Kidman states now a real meaning about the cult to the press like Mrs. Remini, the cult has to declare her openly. And if it comes to a beat between the US-Goebbels Miscavige and Nicole, the point of disconnection burns into the newspapers.
Otherwise, the cult will loose another thousands of Youngsters, if the totalitarian policies become wakened, as it was in the seventies.
That means: from 40.000 fanatics in 2014 down to 17.000 or 20.000 in 2019 down to 12. 000 or 15.000 in 2022.
It is too less mass, and the ship is going to sink.
All Hubtard offered was unconditional hate and slavery…
Meetings and pickings travel the same road. Life consists of pickings. Some are good, some make no different and others had people made it better without.
It’s an interesting exercise to contemplate what Tom Cruise (or any other gung-ho, in-KSW scientologist) would be like if they extracted themselves from the cult. Cruise is a very high profile celebrity so he gets a lot of attention. When he is seen doing his interview with Matt Lauer he comes off as a complete arrogant ass. But, that’s Cruise the scientologist, not Cruise the human being. I wonder what an interview with him would be like as Cruise the human being? I say that because when I was in and swilling the KSW Kool-Aid I would have come across in an interview exactly the same way Cruise did. A complete arrogant ass. I am a VERY different person now that I have extracted myself from the cult mind-fuck.
On one hand, it’s good to be able to see these examples of cult members behaving as cult members as a deterrent to keep the innocent out of the cult and to watch them aid the cult’s demise. It was sort of like the good ol’ days on this blog when our old friend FOOLproof showed up. FP the scientologist was a complete fucking asshole as his comments clearly indicated. Nobody reading his insane blathering would even consider wanting to be like that for a moment. Hence he was a valuable example of a mind on scientology. It would be interesting to see what FP the human being would be like if he were able to extract himself from the shackles of the cult mindset.
It’s my hope that Cruise and all of the others will be able to get out, wake up and get on with a real life of freedom and happiness. But that’s a wild and unrealistic aspiration. I’m not holding my breath.
“Personal Choice”….yeah, right, what lame Bullshit is that? Everyone knows the COST of the so called “Personal Choice”…..disconnection from the REST of your family that remains IN…..disconnection from those you THOUGHT were friends…..disconnection from anything & everything your once believed in and knew.
For many it’s too high a price to pay…Oh yes, the “most important thing”…that promised brand spanking new “meat body” and a brand new life is waiting for you…IF you stay, IF you pay enough $$$, IF you give enough of your health by over working & living in abject poverty.
Born in you say….tough luck on you…no education, no real job skills, no real income, auditing constantly to make sure you’re keeping your nose clean……raped you say…NO ONE will EVER believe you and a Scientologist NEVER RATS OUT on another Scientologist…IF it should come out…just let COS handle it…kind of like the Catholic Church…bury it somewhere, hide it….
Leave you say….where do you go….I have no one on the outside I can …..ooohh, hmmm…I wasn’t supposed to…but ahh, I heard about that A & E Series…..OMG….if I can only be brave enough….but if they find out….I am going to be sent to the HOLE….what to do what to do what to do….I can’t tell anyone…Knowledge Report ya know..
It keeps running though my head….I never told anyone I know about that TV Show….I HEARD about the AFTERMATH SERIES & that THEY WOULD HELP ME….. Let me think, HOW can I manage this…… DAMN IT ALL…I am going to do it….somehow, someway…..I am going to get OUT of here……..ssshhh….I wrote that number down & hid it……I gonna try I swear!
BRING BACK THE AFTERMATH SERIES….PLEASE!
In a way I feel sorry for Tam Cruise. He really is nothing but a mixed up kid in the final analysis. He made a ton of money based on his really good looks and the ability to do the impossible on film. Despite the money, I do not grant him adulthood. He must have some real conflicts in his head if he cannot find the compassion to speak to his daughter. Hubbard you were nothing but a re-creation of Satan. In the end you destroyed this kid.
“Unconditional love is a concept not found in scientology. ”
Or in the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Or in any religious group or family that shuns members who leave.
The only kind of love that I have ever seen in this criminal cult is the Love of Money.
Even worse, it’s only the money that is given to the Evil Squirt in return for …. Hmm …. Gotta think now …. Oh! It’s in return for nothing!
Anyone who needs or wants the pure, unadulterated, dictionary-definition of “unconditional” love should get a dog because there is no unconditional love between humans That said, one could say there are gradients of conditions, i.e. a low bar and a high bar in exchange for loving and being loved. Scientologists, even if they are so inclined, are not permitted to have a low bar. Before one can be worthy of love cult stipulates that a very high and strict bar of thought, speech and behavior be met. Now, I’ve never observed Scientology parents actually following this but Scientology kids – whoa, did they ever insist that their parents toe the mark, from what I saw! Highly judgemental, these cult brats. Their parents “granted them a lot of beingness” and thought the world of them and made continual excuses for their Scientology kids no matter how unremarkable they were or how they fucked up in life. The Scientology parents put up with pretty much anything from their kids but it didn’t work both ways. That’s what I saw when I was in, anyway.
Only one thing I disagree with in your post: I have absolute unconditional love for my son. Period. Even if he were to grow up and do things which are disappointing, wrong, or worse.. my unconditional love for him is everlasting.
Other than that, great post.
KatherineINCali, I get it, totally. You can’t even imagine your son doing anything that would make you ever not love him. And thanks for your acknowledgement too. I appreciate it. Happy New Year to you and your son 🙂
Actually, I worry about my son growing up and possibly doing something horrible all the time because, despite how well we bring up our children, they can always go down the wrong path.
Happy New Year to you as well, my friend! 🙂
Hey, even if they do, you’ll still love them. Even if you’re the one who reported them to police and they get sent to jail for what they did. Just because someone needs to be put away for everyone else’s safety doesn’t change that.
Agreed 100%. That’s true unconditional love.
The humanist in me gets this, totally. The debater in me, the grammar nazi in me asks, “What if one’s child had to be put away not only for the safety of others, but for one’s OWN safety?” See, this is a “what if” question ONLY because we are using the prefix UNconditional love which means “NO conditions”. What if your child were definitely and provenly capable of killing – oneself? Now, before you go crazy, remember that a grammar nazi is asking this question and remember that all important prefix “un”, my friends! Again, I DO get where you’re coming from about deeply loving and accepting your kids for who they are and granted, my example IS extreme! BUT that IS what “un” means when it comes in front of “conditional” – that’s my point, my ONLY point.
It seems that the tabloids proclaim TC is leaving $ci right before the release of his latest movie. TC’s kids who were raised $ci aren’t wanting for money but I wonder if either of them graduated from high school? It is interesting that his 3 ex-wives have stayed silent. There is no excuse for TC to turn a blind eye to the corruption and evil of $ci and his buddy who lives like a king.
I remember the church pushing the line of Nicole’s ‘pts’ situation with her father as the major factor. I would say that Tom has a constant need for a challenge in his life, wherever it comes from. Friction generates enough agitation to create a challenge and keep those energy levels up. I suspect Dave has a similar disposition.
Far too many tabloids have done ‘Tom Cruise leaves $cientology for his daughter/sanity/bank balance’ stories. I suspect that all of those stories are plants from TC’s henchmen (henchwomen?) Such ‘stories’ do several things for TC.
They get his name in print and all mention is good for him.
They get the idea of TC being ‘rescued’ from the Clampire into the readers head and generate ‘sympathy’.
The downside to all of this is that $cientology is really being disrespected, but that is the tightrope that the worlds greatest actor/stunt man (ouch, my ankle!!) must walk.
The idea that TC has people planting stories about him leaving Scientology to keep his name in the news is interesting. And the fact that he’s tight with DM lends support to how he’s still in good with them despite Scientology being disrespected in these stories; as being in good with the leader means that he can continue doing this without having to publicly quash them. It is mildly conspiracy-thinking, but only just; since the idea is plausible.
However, I do not think this is the case. TC was made tight by DM’s efforts, not the other way around; so that tends to undermine this idea that way. Secondly, he doesn’t need to plant stories about him leaving. The tabloids are motivated enough to do it themselves since Scientology is controversial enough, and he is weird enough, and an A-list actor that the combination is enough to generate interest on its own. Especially when the news is slow.
Remember how tabloids get their news: the writers literally have brainstorming sessions where they sit around tossing out ideas. Ones that catch their interests turn into stories; and “The celebrity “-” is thinking of leaving Scientology” is just that kind of idea.
So no, i don’t think he has people planting stories about him leaving. Just because he benefits from them doesn’t mean he has anything to do with them.
Good article in the Daily Beast. I can relate to Nicole’s dilemma. Both my children disconnected from me.
The Scientology MO is always the same. Show the children how evil and unbalanced the disaffected parent is that leads to the conclusion they are suppressive.
This practice is what is killing Hubbards organizations And will ultimately destroy the cult.
So sorry this happened to you Geoff, and sorry that your children are missing out of a far better life.
Peggy, thanks.
Right now I’m working on a documentary of my brother and my story. Something that I will leave for my children. They know little of my history, including my almost 5 decades in the cult.
I believe that everything has a time and place. I know they will eventually see the truth.
Oh I think that is fantastic Geoff! I bet it will help you a lot too to review what a journey you have been on. That’s a wonderful gift for your children. Best of luck!
A few years ago I found that I had some time to dig out some family history. I decided to scan everything in and put it on flash drives for family members. It was eye opening to read about where my origins are, and the different stories about generations gone by. Maybe not everyone will read it but I hope their children, grandchildren, whoever, will find it interesting.
Peggy,
Wonderful idea. I will do that while working on the documentary. Thank you for your story.
As usual, you nailed it Mike:
“Unconditional love is a concept not found in scientology. It speaks volumes as to why she is no longer a scientologist. Her attitude just isn’t compatible with the cult mindset.”
I think DM has unconditional love of power, hoarding money, his ability to manipulate big donors and the slaves that work 24/7, the ability to pass down horrible living conditions, and of course for love of himself and his luxurious lifestyle, and did I mention of himself.
Other than that it’s not something that he deems to be accepted anywhere in the cult unless it’s about him.
“Personal choice” is but one among many lame arguments the COS uses to defend their kicked-in-the-head policies. Their so called “choice” is comparable to a mugger pointing a gun at you. Hand over the money or get shot. Hey, it’s just a personal choice. You’re free to decide on your own determinism.
Perfect analogy
O/T. K. Friedman tweeted a statement by Scientology Youth For Human Rights Award Winner Nation of Islam Brother Rizza Islam that Ashkenazi Jews are referred to as the Synagogue of Satan and own the movie and film industry.
I replied with seven tweets further memorializing Brother Rizza Islam’s antisemitism. K. Friedman’s tweet is below. Please look at the Twitter thread to see my reply tweets.
https://twitter.com/KSFriedman/status/1210330458413764611
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