Saturday — Terra Cognita day! Yay!
Writing is Communication
One of the things LRH got right was emphasizing the importance of communication. The more we read and write, the more we understand what’s going on. Writing is connecting with others. Writing is learning. Writing is being. Writing is all sorts of shit. Writing is fun.
Discussions on this blog have helped me understand the “stable data” I accepted while inside the bubble as something other than unquestionable truth.
Scientology Cut My Comm, Fuck You Very Much
For over thirty years Scientology cut my comm. Not only my communication with others, but my communication with myself. Listening to what outsiders said about the church was risky business. Expressing my true thoughts was a perilous endeavor. Thinking about anything that didn’t align with church doctrine was a crime.
I couldn’t discuss the pros and cons of tech or policy with my friends, much less, what went on in session. Critical analysis of LRH philosophy was verboten. What Ron and the church did accept were glowing wins at graduations and events. Anything less guaranteed a quick trip to Qual and Ethics.
Cognitive dissonance nipped at my heels like a pack of hungry hyenas stalking a wounded gazelle.
Communication with Outsiders: Not this Lifetime
I rarely brought up the subject of Scientology with friends and family. The reality gulf between those outside the church and those within was too great—massive-deep-chasm-trench-great. Those who hadn’t read LRH couldn’t fully understand what was so obvious to those inside. Ron’s tech was out gradient to commoners. At least that was how I rationalized dancing in the shadows.
I was embarrassed to talk about Scientology with people outside the church. Admitting I was a member (of a cult?) was always a bit humiliating. No, scratch that. Being a Scientologist was fully humiliating. Admitting I was a member of Scientology was the equivalent of admitting there was something wrong with me. That I was flawed. I wasn’t as strong and healthy as I liked people to think I was. I was ashamed to tell others I was a Scientologist.
Society doesn’t think well of the church. Most of their criticism is justified. And thus, the thought of FSMing—bringing new people into the fold—is completely unreal for the average Scientologist. I would rather have bathed in hot oil than tried to convince a friend that Life Repair and The Ups and Downs Course would handle what was ruining his or her life. Having to tell them how much it cost to go up the Bridge to Total Freedom was totally “unconfrontable.”
For many Scientologists, meaningful relationships with outsiders are next to impossible. Non-Scientologists are considered WOGS—a derogatory and racist acronym for Worthy Oriental Gentleman. WOGS aren’t Homo Novi like those who’ve gone Clear. WOGS lack the tech. Most are out of present time and many are PTS (Potential Trouble Source: one connected to a Suppressive Person). None are as enlightened as a practitioner of LRH technology. Communicating with WOGs about Scientology was a foreign concept.
For decades, I concealed my identity as a Scientologist. I kept hidden a whole part of my life. Cut. Comm. City.
Slapped in the Face…Over and Over Again
We write because of injustices perpetrated by the church—both those we experienced personally, and those suffered by others.
At first, my notions of what was wrong with Scientology were limited to senior management’s misapplication of policy. I believed a few misguided executives were responsible for the church’s declining stats, poor performance, and abysmal reputation. The tech worked—mostly. Scientology wasn’t perfect therapy but nobody had ever come up with anything better. Right?
Periodically, I wrote Knowledge Reports, believing they would help bring about some sort of reformation. Applying policy—by pointing out out-policy—merely landed me in Ethics. Which only made me dig deeper and pull more strings. And want to write more.
Once I Googled “Scientology,” it didn’t take long to learn of families being ripped apart by a cruel regime. Nor that the church’s top brass had gone missing and its organizational hierarchy had been reduced to a single ruler. Most of the familiar faces had been packed off to some place called “The Hole.” I learned that all over the world, wholesale groups of good people had been declared “suppressive persons.” The inflated stats peddled at events were lies and the person reporting those figures was not only the liar, he was the real suppressive person.
Not long after my foray into cyberspace, it dawned on me that the tech wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and LRH’s Bridge to Freedom was not as “workable” as he’d promised.
My spouse turned me onto a site hosted by a renegade blogger named Mike Rinder. It didn’t take long to discover another by some ex-Village Voice reporter named Tony Ortega. YouTube videos by Chris Shelton had us smiling and nodding our heads late into the night. Ironically, the more I communicated with the “outside world,” the clearer I became.
Maybe I could add my two cents by writing something.
Voice
Many ex-Scientologists were libeled and slandered for years—both when they were inside the church and after they got out. All had their communication cut in one form or another. Communicating in forums like this is a chance to even up the score, a chance to separate truth from fiction.
Once I left the church, I could say whatever I damn-well pleased. Injustice demands a voice. The abused deserve the right to be heard.
Writing is an avenue for restoring balance in people’s lives that were exploited and abused by a suppressive organization. The more we write, read, and discuss, the more we are restored. The path to enlightenment is paved with open, free communication.
Common Denominators and Memos
Little is more important in life than communication. Art, books, movies, music, the Internet, and science are all important for the exchange of ideas. Communication with family and friends, with colleagues and enemies alike, are essential to living. If survival is our common denominator, communication is a close second.
In the 1954 Credo of the Church of Scientology, LRH wrote, “We of the church believe that all men have inalienable rights to think freely, to talk freely, to write freely their own opinions and to counter or utter or write upon the opinion of others.”
Apparently, the staff didn’t get the memo.
Cults and Communication
A leading trait of cults is their need to control all communication. Members are restricted in what they can read, what they can study, what they’re allowed to discuss, and what they’re allowed to write. Screw that.
Last Words
Now that I’m out, I can say whatever I damn well please.
Still not Declared,
Terra Cognita
PS: FXX is airing the Creative Arts Emmy show tonite at 8. I do not know what it is going to contain as there are two nights of these Emmy’s that I assume they will condense into one show.
I assume The Aftermath win will be shown as it was one of the biggest “moments” of Saturday night and Leah was the only person they did not start playing “walk-off” music for when her acceptance speech went over the allotted time.
The thing is none of you who were in should be embarrassed. One of the things done in a abusive relationship is to cut people off from a support source or others who are going to question the situation. In addition they will attack after you leave . That is Scientology, you should be proud that you made it out, not embarrassed or ashamed.
“Discussions on this blog have helped me understand the “stable data” I accepted while inside the bubble as something other than unquestionable truth”
Yes TC. I feel the same. Thank you for all your and others writings, it sure has helped. I consider my hours of blog readings as education.
Well said. I have a question. Can something be done about he children in Scientology that are worked 12-14 hours a day. Isn’t there laws in this country preventing this. Love the show! Keep up the exposure of the “cult”.
There are laws, and they are sometimes observed by the Church and ignored when it suits them (although there are Exec Directives which clearly state minors have to work hours prescribed by labor laws).
The problem being, there is no documentation on hours worked. We didn’t clock in, roll call only happened on courses, and your direct senior is usually pushing the schedule – so there’s an out for the Church to say “this guy (the senior) was RPFed because he didn’t follow Church policy”.
That’s even IF someone were to get a report, have someone external actually investigate and for some bizarre reason, a minor actually spoke up about it (they’d be promptly offloaded or possibly RPFed after the investigation). And let me tell you, in twelve years, I’ve heard of exactly zero instances of this at upper middle management level.
We occasionally had an OSA mission which came in and thankfully curtailed all of the extra hours for minors and assigned a round of lower conditions to those who forced illegal schedules, but around a month later it would be “business as usual” and we’d be working insane hours again, or just randomly “white-gloving” the building until 4AM because some nut was in power and needed to strut.
Your estimate on the average schedule is a bit off, FYI. It wasn’t 12-14 hours. It was a baseline 8AM-11PM (15 hours) with semi-regular 18-20 hour days (depending on what is flapping).
Well said! I particularly like the line about getting clearer the more you communicated with the world. 🙂
As an excommunicated Mormon (I learned too much “history” and posted my conclusion from what I learned on FB), I heartily echo Terra!
From one ex cultist to other ex cultists.
TC, good article. The self suppression of scientologists is massive, only rivaled by the North Koreans.
What you just expressed is a good example of what psychologists call, “Individuation”. It is what mentally healthy people do in the late teens/early adult years when they differentiate the difference between themselves and their parents.
Many cults and religions establish their organizations like a parental figure in people’s lives. For those with dysfunctional family systems, it can serve to fill a void not currently met by the dysfunctional family. In exploitative cults and religions with rigid rules it can destroy the fragile family connections.
Religions that elevate the family to a higher status and support it generally accept dialogue with other faith traditions. This is due to a perception difference. Rather than seeing others as “in” or “out” known as in-group/out-group dynamics, the mentally supportive religious traditions see every human as potentially in-group. They place love as the highest endeavor rather than the self. Sacrifice of self for the sake of the other, whether or not the other is part of the group, is the highest ideal. Love becomes the focus for these faith traditions rather than being “right”.
So don’t give up on religion completely. Just give up on the self glorifying mentally unhealthy ones and find the religions that speak of love as the primary directive. Avoid the ones that use love as the justification for cruelty.
And find your voice to scream it from the mountain tops when you find it!
I went on line to the Scientology site and read all the comments from friends, co-workers, and family of Mike, Leah, and other members who have been on the TV series.
My observation was that each and every one of the guest and hosts of the show are sexual perverts, have lied, cheated, thieves, etc. The lowest of the low. Now, I am wondering, if Mike and Leah are so bad, how come they rose so high in the Scientology ranks, and as they lived on the base were not taken to task either by the cult themselves, or by the civil authorities. This does not look too good for the cult and their different practices to help the individual or heal the World.
Mike and Ron M. are “wife beaters” (and have been for years) according to the cult. Is Scientology now saying that this fact has just now came to light, and they are going to let the World know just what kind of people are or was in Scientology.
Perhaps the air in the compound is different than the outside. Inside their buildings it keeps one sweet and mellow, and as soon as one steps outside of the Scientology building the air drive the brain into a zombie type hate. Hey, if LRH can come up with blown up guys invading our bodies, why not my theory. LOL.
Lance Caldwell
Those people wouldn’t know a wife beater if one smacked their wife in front of them. I just love the duplicitous relationship Scientology has with psychology. On the one hand, they dismiss its validity but the second they need to give a defense, they diagnose someone with a psychopathology. I think they fail to see how they make psychologists feel vindicated. It is total hero-worship Scientology. Psychology will always be their litmus test, deeming us with the final say in everything.
That is what I call institutional diminishment, or ID!
I think that the problem of saying that Scientology might have some benefits is this. If the comment is that “My Scientology training gave me confidence,” or ” I would not be where I am at right now without my Scientology training” will be taken out of context by the cult and turned into a “See, even the people who are out of Scientology have to admit that we are helping individuals and the World.” My suggestion is to not give that ammo, and once and for all say “It has hurt too many people over the years, and should be totally dismantled once and for all.”
Lance Caldwell
@Terra Cognita
Deep, deep writing and fascinating to read.
Communication, reading and writing is very important, but please from time to time I would suggest look over your shoulder and explore and never wait for any declaration whatsoever. You”r behind the wheel, take control.
Good luck.
Climbing out of the hole which is Scientology takes time.
It takes plenty of communication, written and spoken, to understand what Scientology is all about.
I left Scientology in 2012 and it took me another 4 years of reading and listening to the stories of others to final break myself free.
Eventually I began to see the contradictions in Der Tech and the control mechanisms built into the subject.
Keep writing Terra, keep listening too.
Do you feel greater peace and love in your life since you left? If so, how long did you struggle to reassure yourself that you made the right choice?
Absolutely.
I knew right after I left that I had done the correct thing. I reassured myself by reading and studying everything about Scientology and Hubbard I could find.
These studies highlighted the contradictions, falsehoods and control mechanisms which I had previously seen but never wanted to accept.
I am a “never in” who is fascinated by Scientology. I have a hard time understanding if it was the tech or the leadership that has chased people away.
Hello Mark.
I also never got into Scientology, but from what I understand Leah’s mother got into Scientology and brought the children into it also at a very young age. Some of the people who are now getting out have been in this cult for 20-30 and more years before finally getting out. It was the only thing that they knew, and their parents did not raise them, the cult did in their image.
Poor Mike’s whole family had a rant about Mike and what a bad guy he really is. His son and daughter tells that he was never around. From what I understand that is true, because the cult said that he had other work to do and it did not involve taking care of his kids.
Leah’s dad goes on a rant because she did not give him money for cancer treatment. I did not understand if he was in Scientology or not, but if he is in Scientology, do they not have health insurance for their members who are living on their base, or does he not have some sort of Medicare.
I think that perhaps the Scientology folks do not have at least dental coverage, and that is why LRH teeth are so bad. LOL.
It is in my mind, the leadership, the tech, and also just the whole policy of separate, instill fear, (report on each other), and a sense of belonging to something that will save the World.
The real hero’s of these blogs are the ones who have escaped, told their stories on national TV, and have stood up to this cult.
I really admire Mike and Leah, and the other people who have came forward to tell their stories. Keep up the good fight.
Lance Caldwell.
Lance: SCN never has subscribed to medical technology; not even regular dental hygiene, I’m literally paying for that now that I’m out with gum disease and having to have a dozen teeth pulled over the intervening decades because we, the Homo Novis, wouldn’t have trouble with such pettiness if we stayed away from all SPs, so didn’t go PTS. Remember, LRH refused to follow his personal MO’s directive and didn’t go to the doctor after the infamous motorcycle spill he took that broke his arm and a couple of ribs. All the doc could do for him was prescribe powerful painkillers, which I believe he enjoyed to excess. There was no moderation to the guy; either full on or full off. Until he got those drugs, stories say he was insufferable, as befits the malignant narcissist that he seems to have been.
Thanks for another GREAT read Terra/
In the com cycle tapes LRH said “if you tell purple things” you can restimulate Amnesia ,God did he told us things!!!!
Terra, your 2cents is priceless. I love your writing. Let it flow.
I meant people I don’t know how to edit
At 21, fresh out of college, I’d just moved to the big city. Strolling along the busy downtown area minding my own business, I was stopped by a nice looking guy in Birkenstocks. “Would you like to take a personality test?” he asked. Soon he whisked me inside a building to complete a self-analysis questionnaire. After, he seemed on fire telling me about something that would improve my life, guide my spiritual path. Finally I asked what his concept of God was. When he said God was anything I wanted Him to be, I kept walking. Thanks to this blog, the Aftermath, and all others who are finally communicating to the outside world, I now know what I was protected from that day.
I had a similar experience. I did the “personality test” (I use REAL ones in my line of work) and even came in for the results. The irony was the test did show I had issues (who doesn’t?) but when I laughed at the results (I had blocked memories from childhood) the guy showed me the tool they use to “read” the “engram” (blocked memory) I recognized the tool (my dad does HVAC so I worked with electronics). It was a (crude) lie detector. I laughed so hard it embarrassed the guy and he escorted me out the door! I am sure they labeled me a Suppressive Person. Ironically, i wasn’t suppressing anything in that moment, especially laughter!
As a psychologist who has since recalled and processes those blocked memories, I am SO GLAD I didn’t recall them with Scientology. Child sexual abuse should be managed with a trained professional. To do so with a novice working a (crude) lie detector can result in retraumatization which can frustrate healing.
Scientology should stick to what they know: Nothing.
Terra, that was an incredible post. Thank you for being so real about your experience.
It inspired me.
Your candor is refreshing. ❤️ Your honest process inspiring.
Thanks my friend.
Thanks Terra, an excellent post and extremely well written! I look forward to your posts every Saturday.
Having been with LRH for 9 years – I was always “not allowed” to talk about Scn, it was forbidden due to security and then when I finally came out of the sea org and into “normal” life, I never uttered a word that I was a scientologist. I always thought that there must be something wrong with me that I did not want to say a word about it, but I was too embarrassed. How do you tell “wogs” who were now my friends, that I went to live on a ship at 13 years old with no family and worked with LRH and then lived secretly with him in the US at various secret bases.
Then getting back into scn in 2012 to keep my family together – now it was even worse……you could not talk to this person or that person, you had to unfriend so and so from Facebook and on and on it went! It was terrible,,,,,,,,,,,,
So ironic for something that is supposed to be the great handling of the world – communication! What a joke. All your communication is stopped. And if you even communicated any upset you had, someone would write a knowledge report on you, even my own son…………or order a committee of evidence……get sec-checked……
Now I am sitting with a son and all my siblings who do not communicate with me. Nada……….
Lois, is there any chance that your son and siblings might be catching wind of the collapsing of the church? Have you heard ANYTHING through the grapevine? I suppose this question goes out to all SP-declared ex-scientologists.
I hear you. Lowie.
Terra –
Thank you for your writings about Scientology!
Scientology is a very precise science of cutting everyone’s comm
Some old timers I know are out and will never go back
I noticed some common side effects…
They can’t discuss Scientology – at all!
Many of them won’t look at the internet either.
It is fascinating how well the implanted hypnotic suggestions work when the repeater technique is used
Along with applying
No sleep tech
And the “training ” so as to
spinning them into total confusion!
I am expecting a vent here. Please be kind. This vent suits the title of this article, why we write, why we want to. Being a Celtic wench, I have a temper. I have a bitch of a temper, and I will not apologize for that.
I began to watch The Aftermath beginning with it’s first season. I have continued to watch and my admiration for Leah and Mike and all of the contributors grows. Today something happened that I found, at first odd, then freking annoying. I usually get Toyota commercials when I go to youtube. But now I get Leah’s Dad bitching she didn’t put his medical expenses on her credit card. Get real Daddy. When did you pay one single dollar for her support?
Daddy was just the beginning, then I get Mike’s family’s bitching.
How the living hell did they find my internet feed to put their crap front and center?
Not a big, I have a reset and cancel button, but just how insidious is this that they can follow my connection to intrude on my life this way?
I have one thing to say, and it’s pretty straight up. Bring it. Show up at my door? I will call the cops. Sic your goons on me, I will have you arrested for stalking. Bring out my past? *laughing* It will work better than sleeping pills.
For the harm they do, for the intrusion this is, for all the criminal acts you haven’t reported, for the lies and the extortion requiring people to pay thousands for bullshit, bring it.
Screw all of your tactics. Like Leah says, I am not afraid of you.
Welcome to middle america realism Davy. You no longer have any idea what you are facing mini dumb shit dude.
OK it wasn’t really a vent, but if anyone wants the soapbox now, I am done.
Wow Jill that’s just freaking annoying. Cr@p!
COS has bought ad time that will automatically display for anyone interested in video material about scientology. It’s an automated process.
If you run their videos it will cost them, so that’s a plus. 😉
Over on the Underground Bunker there were banners from STAND, all this in the same way. Now you should know that every time someone clicks on such a banner STAND pays Google (or whoever) some money, and then Tony gets a part of that. So we all began clicking the banners like crazy! Needless to say it didn’t last long before they were gone. 😀
That’s just scientology buying Google ads, or “targeting” in the marketing sense of the word.
Since you’ve looked at sites/videos pertaining to the subject, the Google advertising algorithm gives you the silly STAND ads. Nothing *hideously* nefarious about it – just in the usual corporatized Big Data level of nefarious.
This post is succinct and so relevant…. …it was like reading a path towards discernment in action. I love TC’s writings. For a Never-In, experiencing others enlightenment is an awesome experience.
Teen: Thanks for the kind words.
An observation from an average person on the street who knew nothing about the workings of Scientology.
The question came up asking if they thought that Scientology would have any real benefits if DM and his policies were removed. It seems that the answer was a qualified “Yes.” “It helped me to gain confidence.” I would not be where I am now without my training, etc. This sounds like a good news, bad news situation.
From what I have learned LRH used Scientology to start a church and make a ton of money duping people to think that if they went through the Scientology never ending programs for huge sums of money they could save the planet, and change the World. Sadly that is not the case.
It seems to me after reading other people’s comments that actually was in Scientology and have since left (which includes DM’s own dad), and seeing the different videos that Scientology was a scam before DM and will continue being a scam after him.
My thoughts is to just demolish the whole program once and for all and give the question of is there any benefits of going through the different programs a resounding “NO.”
If I am wrong please let me know.
Lance Caldwell
Lance – I think (still think) it depends when you were in and what you got out of it. I don’t know anyone who emerged ‘unscathed’ because it’s hard to separate the organization from the experience. Still, my husband and I have been ‘out’ for 40 years and still apply stuff we learned there. Among lots of other things of course. I do not look back on the experience and think, boy that was negative. Maybe it’s the amount of time that has gone by, dunno, and also that none of our family are ‘in’ so we don’t have the disconnection issue staring at us.
I cannot imagine being stuck on lines or in the Sea Org for the last 30-40 years. The mind boggles.
Thanks Spike for your reply. Good stuff.
I believe that same can be said of anyone who has gone through what you have and starts to remember the “good times” and the “bad times” start to fade a bit. Way back in the 80’s when I first had just a thin slice of Scientology I remember some creep screaming at the top of his lungs at some poor little lady as she held the cans in her hands. So, it seems that the practices of the cult has been going on for years. Glad that you got something positive out of Scientology and it did not cost you too much to gain it.
Lance Caldwell
Thanks Lance. I still am not going to volunteer that I was ‘in’ (except maybe on this blog). Scn sure has a bad rep.
Lance, I think you hit the proverbial nail on the head.
Lance, what I’d suggest would be be fair, if not even necessary, is to do what should have been done more than half a century ago, and put the therapeutic and psychological aspects of Dianetics and Scientology to proper rigorous scientific testing. Then we’d once and for all what if any real benefits there were – and how they compared to any risks or harms.
My suspicion is that some moderate benefits would be found, along with a lot of illusory placebo effect – but that in search of more impressive results, Hubbard mixed in enough suggestive elements like the ones that produce the false memories of “past lives” (there’s good evidence debunking that, though that’s not to completely rule out the possibility of something like real reincarnation), and the inducing of disassociative experiences masked as “exteriorization,” that the whole approach would have to be discarded as unacceptably risky on top of being borderline ineffective.
If Scientologists stopped practicing any processing proven to have unacceptable risks, were honest about any provable benefits, and admitted the rest was something like a personal belief system or spiritual practice for its own sake, that would be fair.
From what I understand LRH back in the 50’s wrote to the mental health community with what he thought should be the 100% answer to mental health, and how an individual could become “Clear.” As I understand it his ideas were rejected, and Scientology has had a real issue with the mental health community ever since.
Thanks everyone for your comments. I am learning more and more each time I read them. My heart goes out to you and what you and your families have and are still going through.
Lance Caldwell.
I’m so glad you write. I enjoy your writing style very much. I’m so happy that you are out and free. I’m still just in utter shock about all I have learned in the last year. Thank you for bravery and tenacity! Keep on the side of right.
Excellent post and beautifully written. Very insightful! Thank you!
I am scared to see these “churches” popping up in run down strip malls in calgary Alberta, Canada. The amount of Canadians who don’t even know this church is digging it’s claws into Canadian cities is unfathomable. This needs to be stopped before any serious traction is made. I have photos backing this statement.
One avenue may be writing a letter to your local newspaper editor. In US, we have a newspaper section called, “Letter to the Editor”, where they will post letters of everyday citizens about all kinds of topics: politics, religion, education etc…. Note: they don’t post letters from “anonymous” sources so be prepared to have your name published. Anywhoo…it’s a good way to open a topic to the public…just a suggestion.
Once again Terra, spot on, but careful, your humanity is showing. Splurge on it!
If only the tech worked, is probably the catch phrase that underlies all complaints. But it doesn’t do anything like it’s promoted or delivered, in fact it does exactly the opposite the way it’s organised. And in that there lies it’s biggest betrayal. All that bs, families ripped apart, money and lives stolen etc etc. Your words here on the subject of Scientology are excellent.
What did pop up in reading your article is my experience in other areas of life. Once upon a time being military I learnt to carefully pick and choose who I tell or remember regretting telling about it. A lot of females in particular went “funny” when I told them I was a professional soldier. So the phenomena of being in certain professions, activities etc curbs your communication too. I have a couple of friends who are police and they suffer the same sort of thing at times. They in particular, stick to own socially.
But Scientology… geezers that’s something I don’t think anyone would ever put on a resume.
Clam is a good word for Scientology – all its definitions, especially clam up!
I Yawnalot: My humanity’s showing? Yikes!
Great posting. Scientology indoctrination inhibits true self realization because it is presented on the basis that you suspend your normal filters of critical thinking and analysis. And it makes free expression a crime if it falls outside the narrow channel of acceptable realities and utterances. It’s no wonder so many “old timers” left or were kicked out, they were promised a different version of the subject. The fact that Scientology’s most ardent whistleblowers are also former members with credentials in the subject is a major “outpoint” (using Hubbards lexicon of logic). But that never stops Scientology from conveniently ignoring those details. Which is why it’s perfectly acceptable to criticize the Scientology Corporation, because they can’t be taken seriously with all the Hate/Smear websites. Bullet meet foot.
Excellent, thank you!
I do not at all why celebrities like Tom Cruise or John Travolta who are out in the world and exposed to everything that is gong on in the church still believe in this crap. What is wrong with them? Are the perks of having people work for them like slaves for little or no money just too tempting. I find the afore mentioned disgusting human benga. I, myself, and my family will never support any of if films and will to speak out against them. Anyone who knows there has been sexual, physical and emotional abuse going on in this so called church and still supports it does not deserve anythng. I understand regular church members because they are cut off from the outside but these guys aren’t. Once again what is wrong with them?
Razz. U said it. I can’t understand how Cruise and Travolta can be so delusional to think the abuses are a myth and made up…are they so dead emotionally ?
TC is a pompous ass. Only cares for himself
Terra,
My experiences pretty much mirror yours. Though I wasn’t involved as many years as you (as public), when I was in, I was invested heavily in time and money.
When I finally left, I left quietly, and stayed quiet about it for years (25 years to be exact). Never saying a word to anybody. However those years of indoctrination messed with my mind and my viewpoint on how I interpreted the world and life around me. I needed to communicate about it, but there was no place to go. I didn’t know any ex-scientologists and I wouldn’t dare discuss it with anybody else.
What’s more, I became very suspicious (paranoid?) of other people around me possibly being scientologists. I still believed it was the “fastest growing religion” with millions of members. If I was out at a grocery store or out to dinner or out anywhere in public with my family or friends, I would never say the word “Scientology” for fear that there might be a scientologists nearby who would notice me and tell others at the org, and they’d try to find me and get me back in. ( One time a work acquaintance mentioned that Germany had banned Scientology as a religion. I wondered, “Why did me tell me that? Did he know I was in scientology? Is he a scientology plant?”) On occasion I would have nightmares about finding myself at the org, realizing where I was, and trying to leave without getting noticed.
I wanted to go on the Internet to find groups of former scientologists relating their experiences (like Mike’s) but I didn’t trust them, I feared they might be websites operated by the church to locate ex-members and capture their IP addresses and eventually find them and try to recover them.
It was only after Leah’s very public split with Scientology that I started to take note. Then after she wrote her book , I thought “holy shit, this woman’s got balls!”. And then last year when I saw the promo-commercials for season one of “Scientology and the Aftermath” I was speechless. I would never, ever, ever think anything like that was possible. It was because of that series I discovered this blog and Tony’s. Finally there were places to go to communicate with others about scientology.
Needless to say, the ability to read these articles and people’s comments, (and occasionally commenting myself), has been a godsend. I guess in scientology parlance, you could say its created a lot of ” tone arm action.”
I remember Hubbard writing something along the lines of ” the answer to any problem is more communication, not less.” I guess he was right on that account. Ironic.
Hey Carl. Both my experience and time line closely resemble yours. I didn’t have the paranoia thing going on though, for me it was just plain EMBARRASSING to admit that I had been a scientologist. While I was ‘in’ there was a little bit of personal pride in being a scientologist, at least I thought so at the time. In fact, that was not the case as demonstrated by my extreme distaste for disseminating. If I really thought that scientology had all the answers and was 100% workable 100% of the time you wouldn’t have been able to shut me up. But I was very quiet. It was only after I extracted myself that I slowly realized that I had been nothing more than a mere mark in a world class con. Sort of like no one wants to go around bragging about how much money they made or lost by investing in Bernie Madoff’s ponzi scheme. But at least with Madoff, it was only the loss of money to deal with. With scientology there was certainly a loss of money and lots of time that was totally wasted trying to learn and apply the ‘tech’. The worst part though was the total mind fuck that went along with the experience. Recovering from that is much harder than trying to replenish one’s wealth.
A side note on the paranoia, real or imagined. I’m no tech person, but I would be worried about trusting certain bloggers with my IP address, contact info, etc. I imagine anyone who was posting over at Marty’s site might be wondering what is happening with their personal information. Dani in Israel can vouch for that sort of breech…
Ms. B, you’re right about how recovering from the mind fuck is harder than trying to replenish one’s wealth. The great thing about finally communicating my experiences is how the thoughts and feelings I had , were also going on with others; but we’re weren’t allowed to communicate them. Reading the similar thoughts and opinions of others who post here helps me to realize I wasn’t the “only one” who thought that way.
Ms. B Haven: Embarressing… Yes!
Carl…your comments break my heart and also inspire me. I’m so happy for you that the burden of secrecy has been lifted for you. Makes me wonder how many others have been out there living with this level of fear and paranoia you described…
Teen, since there are a lot more ex-scientologists than current members, I’m guessing there’s more than a few. Most don’t talk about their experiences, either because of fear or embarrassment. I think because of the popularity of “Aftermath” amongst never-ins, the stigma of having once been involved in scientology is waning. Blogs such as Mike’s and Tony’s make it safe to ” come out ” and say things and express thoughts we never could have while we were still in.
Carl: Thanks for sharing.
Added a PS to post about FXX Creative Arts Emmy show tonite at 8. I do not know what it is going to contain as there are two nights of these Emmy’s. I assume the Aftermath win will be shown as it was one of the biggest “moments” of Saturday night and Leah was the only person they did not start playing “walk-off” music for when her acceptance speech went over the allotted time.
Ooooo. Thanks for the headsup
DVR is set
I was wondering why I couldn’t find her acceptance speech. All I found was what seemed to be a backstage interview. Congrats ?
Thanks for the head’s up on the Emmy’s show, Mike. Just saw it. Bravo! Beautiful, tears sprung to my eyes.
Tough act to follow–speaking of which.. Later, saw Nancy Cartwright presenting. I wonder how she felt sitting through Leah’s award. How did she “handle the suppression?” Did she run out of the auditorium or close her eyes and plug her ears? Hmmm..
I hope you show her acceptance speech on the show for those of us who missed it. I did not read this in time to get the one on the 16th I have the DVR set for the regular Emmy show tonight but I don’t know if they will show anything about it or not. I really wanted to see it. Or if anybody saw it on YouTube and has a link I would appreciate it thank you!
I know this is off topic,but why didn’t LRH “heal” his teeth with all that special technology,or at least have them fixed with all the money he had? That’s all I can focus on when I see videos of him speaking!
Yes Donna goof job obnosing
Fascinating that the fat turd had black teeth to go along with his black heart
L RON Hubbard even had tech written about it for the clubbed seals
“The Way to Happiness” L Ron says brush your teeth!
That’s a FLUNK Ron!
Flunk me for laughing..
What I find funny that in all of his past lives he was the prince of this or the prince of that how come nobody ever comes back as a servant or peasant? I just finished watching “Going Clear” and it was very eye-opening especially his background with his first wife and daughter that nobody ever talks about are they still around? Not to mention the similarities between his fiction writing with his pulp fiction stories and Scientology, especially the galactic dude that you find out about on OT VIII. The stories he wrote as a pulp fiction writer are very similar to the one he passed off in Scientology. I have great admiration for anybody who can get out and I hope they know that there is a wonderful support system online and outside that they can lean on.
Good point, Gale S. How come LRH gets to hang onto his past life identities of being Prince of this and that and yet everyone else does OT VIII to cognite that they are NOT the identities they have cogged on being in session. So they give up their high ranking identities on OT VIII and LRH hangs onto his. Makes me think he was not an OT VIII Completion. That and also the fact that he was trying to rid himself of BT’s at the very end. I don’t think he applied his own tech to himself very well.
Another Masterpiece, Terra Cognita. Thank you.
Welcome to the real world, Terra! You are free now!….and Scientology is going down! Mark my words!
As always an excellent post.
You had me at “Scientology cut my comm. Not only my communication with others, but my communication with myself”
My brain was disconnected from my heart…big time.
Thank you Terra C! Although “in” for 30 years (& yes…slowly had my own communication cut from many people, books, tv & eventually thinking!)…I must have been even more brain washed, as I never, ever felt embarrassed to say I was a $cientoligist.
I think part of it for me was early on I was asked to help “handle” (educate, as I saw it) the public, beginning in Clearwater in 1979. At that time, after meeting enough oinkif the public, I realized they did not know “us”.
I was always shocked at how surprised members were when I would say: “thank you, I’m a Scientologist”. My view was IF every member told people they were members, the public view would change.
Little did I know…..
Agreed with you! Now I can say & Do whatever I Damn well please. There is no one to answer to, except me. <3
“For over thirty years Scientology cut my comm. Not only my communication with others, but my communication with myself. Listening to what outsiders said about the church was risky business. Expressing my true thoughts was a perilous endeavor. Thinking about anything that didn’t align with church doctrine was a crime.”
I willingly allowed $cn to cut my comm lines with the real world in almost exactly the same way that you did, TC, and also had many of same insights and epiphanies in coming out of my own Kool-aid induced coma that you’ve described so eloquently in this current essay, as well throughout the entire body of work that you’ve so generously provided for us here.
Thanks for that, and thanks to everyone who’s told their own “When I was $cilon” story…poco a poco se anda lejos.
Not all comm lines are of equal value or significance, nor do they each carry the same weight of consequence when severed. Indeed, what may qualify $cn as the most insidiously evil and destructive mind control system ever created has to do with the criminalization and punishment of private, personal thought that, over time, acts covertly to destroy an individual’s comm line with herself.
In that way, the internalization and reflexive implementation of thought stopping mechanisms end up making your own mind into something dangerous to you that you must be constantly wary of, lest you have punishable thoughts that you’ll be required to confess during the metered interrogations which have come to define what $cn essentially is: a culture of mind rape and soul entrapment, dedicated to extracting your very last dollar, then stealing your children…if it can get away with it.
********************************************************************************************
Dear still-in Scientologists,
How can a person be absolutely sure that he’s unwittingly become a member of a very high-demand, high-control group which does not have his best interests in mind?
You’ll know that for sure, just I did, when you’re compelled to confess your innermost, private thoughts under threat of punishment, or other aversive consequences, if you refuse to undergo metered interrogation, but you can also be punished for having certain ‘criminal’ thoughts if you do assent to being interrogated.
There is no path to spiritual freedom which begins with making you a captive in your own mind. Thoughts can never be crimes, and anyone or anything which tries to convince you otherwise is leading you down a path in the exact opposite direction!
Brilliant Harpoona! Now I can more clearly see why the word ‘cult’ best describes what Scn is…a group that enforces you to be a ‘captive in your own mind’ (otherwise referred to as INSANE). Thought was policed externally by the group and internally by one’s own fear of being truthful with one’s self; a concentration camp of the mind and body.
Thank you. To me, there are a few key aspects of the cult’s vast, multi-layered mind control/thought reform system which distinguish it from any other such system and take it to a whole other level of evil and insanity.
Coercively conditioning folks to be their own internal thought police monitors has to be right at the top of that list. It’s analogous to diseases that attack the immune system, such as AIDS, in that it wipes out all of your defenses, turning folks into someone other than who they really are in order to survive within the system.
Enduring that sort of thing, along with the rest of the cult’s other mindfuckery, creates a false cult persona which can take awhile to shed once you exit the cult and begin the often long course of decompression and re-integration of personality that anyone who was once a true believer $cilon necessarily has to go through to become yourself again.
I would only add that thoughts *should* never be crimes. Alas, history shows us that in some places thinking certain thoughts, or being suspected of such, could get you killed. My own childhood experience of the kind of mind-fucking practiced by the nuns who taught me, aided and abetted by the entire edifice of the Catholic Church, had a major part to play in my subsequent atheism. The kinds of sectarian violence perpetrated by believers in the One True God – often members of the same faith – consolidated my thinking, not only about religion, but the whole in-group/out-group way of thinking that characterizes so many types of human organization, and nowhere is the in-group/out-group game played with more energy than in cults. Which is probably why I’ve not been much of a “joiner”, because regardless of how benign a group might be, I’m sure that my free-thinking ways would have put me off-side with many if not most members of any group I can think of.
Having said that, I should add that I didn’t arrive at my worldview overnight. Not by a long shot. A combination of the aforementioned indoctrination by those pious nuns, as well as other traumatic events that occurred during my childhood and early adolescence, might have been good preparation for a life in the first cult that would have me. Had it not been for a well-honed sense of humor and a rather iconoclastic bent that was as much a part of the times (the 60s and 70s) as it was the result of my life experience up till then, I might well have fallen sway to something like scientology. Instead, lingering personal issues through my teens and 20s, coupled with an abiding sense of doom made me look for salvation, not in a cult, but in psychiatry, practiced by a psychiatrist – a psychiatrist who practiced a brand new therapy fresh out of California, a therapy that promised pretty much the same sort of seductive claptrap as scientology did and does. But I only discovered how unrealistic those promises were, and how useless the therapy was, by putting myself through it for several months. I guess that this experience was my second great awakening. Psychiatry is a noble profession, but it, too, can attract its share of charlatans. (Speaking of … there’s an excellent book out now that does a pretty good job of debunking Freud.)
Which all goes by way of saying that now, in my 60s, having experienced what I’ve experienced, I can easily understand how someone – anyone – can fall for something as improbable as scientology. Let me end with this: tragedy, not tempered by humor, just isn’t funny!
Harpoona: Always appreciate your commentary.
Let’s have one big, group “AMEN!!” I’ve always believed that Communication was my middle name. It’s what attracted my to Scn in the first place. What an ironic moment I had, when I had to acknowledge that my most liberating experience was freely criticizing the COS without hesitation or reservation. And wouldn’t you know, it was the ultimate end phenomenon.
I love reading what you communicate. It sounds like it is cathartic for you to be able to express yourself fully. Your words sound like somebody took a strait-jacket off your mind. I’m sorry you felt humiliated by what you went through inside the church (and outside). It’s not right that people of either persuasion are contemptuous of what they don’t know well or understand.
LRH might have made a contribution if he had just given his ideas away for free. The “tech” is pretty simply another vehicle to get in touch with what you may be thinking or need to go over in your mind. It’s when it is used as a method to control others that it becomes evil.
For all LRH hated psychiatry, it has a lot of similarities. It’s communicating with your deep inner self, getting rid of things that are blocking your understanding of your mind and spirit (and sometimes clogging up your body). They are all connected. Yes, you admit things you are thinking and feeling – and a skilled questioner helps guide you as you navigate your obstacles. The same can be true in confession to a priest. You get to unburden yourself of things you feel are sins – negative things that impede your evolution – by admitting them and lessening their power by simply getting them into daylight – communicating. Making something fuzzy into something concrete and tangible.
But that’s where the parallel ends in some ways. The sanctity of confession is that those admissions are private, never to be divulged (even in cases of certain crimes). That confidentiality cannot be used to manipulate or control. And in most schools of psychiatry, when talk therapy is used, the doctor simply acts like a skilled guide, getting you to plot your own course to healthier behavior. They are also subject to strict rules of confidentiality. Nobody gets to see or discuss what is patient-privileged information. And some doctors and priests will risk jail rather than divulge what was told them by parishoners or patients. It’s just unethical to blackmail people for having human flaws. Sure some doctors rely too much on medication, but that is changing (and more the fault of Big Pharma than anything). The same can be said about those who don’t rely enough – it’s an art as well as a science and improvements are made every day.
Freud had some good ideas but the world of psychology has outgrown a lot of his early 20th century paradigms (which his contemporary Jung predicted, although he also said people would lionize him and be afraid to improve on his methods, which also happened). The same is true of CoS. LRH had a very limited, and not scrupulously academic understanding of the world, and whatever may have seemed new and modern in the 60’s is completely outdated these days. Like the difference between some cheesy Buck Rogers movie and the sophisticated CG special effects of modern movies. You can remake Superman a million times, but at some point you gotta realize what worked for audiences in the 40s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s may have outlived its usefulness and believability in terms of being “cutting edge” super-hero stuff.
I used to work with polygraphers who had to do pre-employment testing. The best ones told me that their “tech” was never as good as the interrogator, that the best questioners simply guided people into admitting things, and that “the box” was often just as much for show as anything. They also told me that it took a good interpreter to figure out why the needle or graph did this or that and that there are all kinds of physical conditions that can change or distort results. No tech is perfect (and a polygraph is a far more sophisticated machine than the e-meter, measuring several other physiological indices, not just galvanic skin response). There are also far more sophisticated and scientific medical tests to measure emotional reactions these days, from fMRI’s to EEGs. All may be useful, none are perfect. Which is a big reason why they are simply a tool and are inadmissible in court. They are not infallible and are subject to human interpretation.
As far as “auditing”, basic interrogation techniques are equal part art and science. The very best guys I worked with also developed an empathetic relationship with their subjects. They were slick – they acted like the subject’s partner in searching for the truth – didn’t hold the results over the person’s head when they admitted things, acted sympathetic when “deception might be indicated”. They did not treat admissions of guilt like a weapon or like leverage. No punishment, no using it like a sword. Maybe many CoS auditors develop that as a style as well, although it sounds more to me like it can be abused later by “leading” people into places you want them to go and they can’t argue with, by predetermining “results”.. But when people’s past admissions, whether true or not, voluntary or involuntary, are recorded and served up as a way to extort cooperation or behavior, that is really, really, really wrong. It becomes a power trip, a way to dominate and control, not a truly spiritual exercise where someone is in control of their own destiny.
Please never feel bad for buying into something you wanted to work. The very basic principles are not that horrible, even if they are rather common. LRH packaged them up in a slick way and marketed them like a special members-only secret club of elites – who could say no to that? Especially when it is mixed with a sympathetic contempt for outsiders.
. But the control and domination is horrible, and seeing how this and other cults work, you are not to blame when tried and true brainwashing techniques are used. Don’t think of yourself as gullible, think of it as being captive to a Manchurian Candidate, Cold War level of mind-control, because that is essentially what it is, those psy-ops techniques have been studied and weaponized all over the world. And being kept in a closed environment, where your normal critical thinking functions are not allowed to kick in, makes it even harder to overcome.
You survived this – you’ve learned from it – and you are helping others realize they can too with your words. You can see that the art of communication in words is very cathartic as well as inspirational. The best healing practitioners, systems and principles know that taking what is dark and mysterious inside us and bringing it into the sunshine where it can be identified, discussed and analyzed is revelatory and decreases its ability to impede our growth. We can all take dark and ugly things and remake them in the light of day. We are all free to take their lessons and jettison what is not useful to us personally. Which you seem to have done beautifully. Thanks for the canvases you paint and the community you create.
Thank you CecyBeans. Well said. ‘And being kept in a closed environment, where your normal critical thinking functions are not allowed to kick in, makes it even harder to overcome.’ Yup. Double Yup.
Yea, you don’t want anyone to know you’re a Scientologist. I kept it pretty quiet. And with good reason. I remember when I first introduced my girl friend, (who became my wife) to Scientology. I took her to A.O.
We were immediately separated; she was grabbed by a reg and whisked away. My wife hated the entire experience. She’s out now too. I almost considered it an overt to introduce anyone to Scientology. Maybe more than almost.The overt would have been realized if they DID become involved. End up pissed off and broke. I really didn’t want to do that to anyone.
I remember on the HQS course , the last step was to bring someone new into the mission and have them sign up for a course “if they choose too”. I didn’t want to ask my friends so I talked my sister into doing a favor for me. She went with me to the mission. Then I had to leave her alone with the reg. She signed up for a short communications course, which she did in the evenings after she got off of work. She was almost done; the course supe word cleared her and said she had “MU’s” and made her go back to the beginning of the course. My sister got pissed, left that evening and never went back despite all the letters and phone calls trying to recover her. She was pretty upset with me for awhile after that.
Eloquently stated points-thanks! Keep writing!
And, yeah, I quote the Creed Of Scientology often when I challenge scientologists online. I like to think that quoting ” Source” to prove the absurdity and insanity of ” Source” might slightly increase the intensity of a cult member’s cognitive dissonance…and eventually inspire him or her to “get back in communication with” his/her own emotions and thoughts, thus beginning to bypass the cult-installed ” circuits”/identity…
Yeah Mark , I know what you mean and I tried that while “in” as well as out.
Never worked. The mental gymnastic they get into while confronted to “source ” versus the ethics officer and others , is maddening and made me feel so helpless.
What they have become is a complex mish mash of thought process and the justifications are often non- sequitur and weak , and not a damn thing you can do about it.
yes to all of this.
Excellent article. I read most of your articles . I sincerely hope you write a book. You have a lot to offer.. and it’s fun for us readers too. Interestingly the same dynamics you spoke about above operates to a degree in what I call toxic family clans. My son married into one and it is just hell for me… because I see. Even if I say nothing they know I know. Of course, as in S., they have to denigrate another so as to maintain their status.
It seems pervasive in society now: the notion that anything goes for one’s beliefs. How right and wrong are turned upside down. Please keep on. As you said others, and real communication is enlightening and brings clarity and a sort of freedom within the realm of oppression. Keep on.
I haven’t been in Scientology but understand the dynamic well. I cannot begin to understand how much more frightening it would be given the legal, financial, familial elements brought into that organization. We non S. are out here too for you. Let me know what I can do, in a real way to support someone coming out of that organization. Ie I can not really replace their family member, friends etc, but there are new families and friends to be made, support and love out there to be had. So I am offering.
Very generous of you Mary, thank you.
You are welcome. I mean it
I am a Newbie to CoS. I am not a member but have heard about the “church” since 1965. i have for the past two years been reading about and asking questions about our world, how and why we got here and what is next. i am a student of history and endeavor to find historical context for everything. Found the Aftermath show by accident, found it fascinating, and started reading and asking questions. Watched ‘Going Clear’ and some of the propaganda on SCI website.. Mike’s blog and all your comments have been most illuminating……thank you!
I was perusing Sci website and saw pics from Harvey and Irma volunteers from Sci. i watched the news for days taking the weather patterns in and following the rescue efforts and never once did i see any yellow VM shirts or any mention of CoS being involved in the efforts???? were these pics staged? After what i have read, I would not be surprised!! What do you think??
Where are the responses to Aftermath posted?? not on CoS main site…. ……. thanks
Cheers, Sir reads-a-Lot
+ one
Excellent post.
When I first came into Scientology I was curious why Non-Scientologists were referred to as WOGs.
In the UK and most Commonwealth Countries this is a very offensive racial slur – about the same as using the N-Word in the US.
I was told that it meant “With Out Goals.”
i.e.
Scientologists are about salvaging this section of the Universe.
WOGs are all about 9-to-5 jobs and family.
Which is the most important?
Any Scientologist will tell you the answer.
Of course, this is offensive and patronizing but it isn’t racist..
In Scientology, white folk are referred to as WOGs just as readily as anyone else and if someone you don’t know was referred to as a WOG, you would not have any idea of his ethnicity.
Words are commonly re-defined in Scientology.
In the normal world, referring to someone as reasonable or open-minded would be considered a good thing.
In Scientology, describing someone in this way would be derogatory.
I have British family, and learned about he ugly implications of the term “wog” before I ever ran across it in Scientology. I suspect it was one of the cases where Hubbard in his cynical superiority, got his followers to use a “bad” word by claiming it meant something else – the sort of trick that at a certain stage, older children play on younger ones.
‘Suggestions that the word is an acronym for “wily Oriental gentleman”, “working on government service”, or similar, are examples of false etymology.’
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wog
Hubbard, may have been introduced to a slightly less charged derisive version of it used in the Navy, but even that is derogatory, and by the time he was at Saint Hill and the term started to come into wide use in Scientology, he had to have been aware just how ugly a racially-tinged slur it was in much of the world. (it was also used to derogatorily refer to white Europeans, as in the infamous “wogs begin at Calais”)
Use of racist language would have been nothing new to Hubbard; besides referring to Chinese as “chinks” and native South Africans as “Zulus,” ‘in a letter to his first wife, Polly Grubb, Hubbard wrote “You shouldn’t be scrubbing the floor on your hands and knees. Get yourself a nigger; that’s what they’re born for.” ‘ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientology_and_racism
As a former journalist, it is obvious to me that you are an outstanding writer, Terra. This was an outstanding post.
Yes, that is how you can tell a cult. Do the cut your comm and control your comm. Also look at Chris Shelton’s interview of Karen Schless Pressley. It is excellent.
Very real indeed. Thank you for writing this and inspiring. Yes, that was the fundamental irony of Scientology that led to its troubles. Because no matter how erroneous the tech was, if an effervescence of communication had been allowed, it would have provided the natural process to correct itself, even if with difficulties. But no! What does your material state? It’s amazing to see the congruence of silence and blind spots. What people don’t talk about very often turns out to be the very thing they better talk about. I am the first one to step up to the head of the class.
Well said, Terra. You mentioned the Ups and Downs Course; I would like to add my two cents:
The church denies the natural human condition. Life consists of up and downs; it is the human condition. So right off the get-go (The PTS/SP Crs/The Ups and Downs Crs) into the world of the church of scientology, I (and many others) denied myself the human condition; any down-turn in life was attributed to sins or transgressions or being connected to a suppressive person. From this course branched all sorts of (incorrect) labels that I (and the newly initiated into scientology) started to wrap my mind around. The truth of the matter is that the human condition is filled with ups and downs and when we as homo sapiens understand this, we have compassion, empathy and understanding for ourselves and others. As Homo Novis, we learn to label the ups and downs of life with all sorts of wrong indications and lose the ability to understand our fellow man and to care for with compassion, empathy and kindness.
It is only after leaving the church of scientology that I am learning how to love and care for my fellow man, friends and family. I am closer than ever with them. I learned a lot from being a scientologists – some good some bad, but I learned far more by moving away from scientology and NOT being a scientologist.
I know many might have never fallen into this trap, but I’m sharing my thoughts on this because I did; it might help others to read why I believe the PTS/SP Course or the seemingly innocuous Ups and Downs Course should be jettisoned into oblivion.
Damn Mary, you just made me chuck my course materials! ?
Mary I like the points you raised and would like to add 1 or 2 or maybe even 3 cents. “As Homo Novis, we learn to label the ups and downs of life with all sorts of wrong indications..” YES. we also enforced those wrong indications on others by being “good” Scientologists and making sure they had their “tech in” and where applying it standardly. (we were such good boys and girls) Someone would stub their toe and right away we’d be looking at them sort of sideways…..implying they had “some sort of situation going on”. What a load of crock. The emphasis of KSW made us all deputies of STANDARD TECHNOLOGY. We’d be quick to write a KR on someone who was PTS because they were “on finance lines”. God forbid someone goofs up and wastes ANY of the cults hard stolen money!
Mary,
Perhaps this quote from about 200 years ago fits with your comments:
“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced”. Soren Kierkegaard
this is such a good quote. It is uplifting and helps in a quiet and wonderful way. I just researched it a bit and was moved to share it with my Facebook friends/family…and had a nice poster of if queued up and was about to post it when………
I remembered where I just got it.
Oooops. That’ll do nothing to help me stay UTR.
aaaaamd the whole point of it all is driven in where it needs no driving.
I’m handcuffed in a closet as far as “comm” goes.
…..
but the quote……
gives me hope.
🙂
I love this quote.
Mary – good post
Scientology introduces an idea that sounds so good…
No more “roller coaster” in life
Scientology claims to have the ” tech” to make that stop
Then… it introduces you to “tone levels of the thetan…
One starts to look at everyone in their life and wonder what tone level they are…
I recall doing this
Then Scientology states in PTS course with insouciant certainty
ANYONE critical of L Ron Hubbard, Scientology or the tech is a SP
A low toner
A “Criminal”
One must disconnect
Or Scientology won’t work
And it won’t
One needs the Smoke and Mirrors to make it work
The truth shatters Scientology
Parlor tricks don’t last
Amen Mary Kahn…..What I’ve said before I stand by. To “erase” through auditing life past “bad experiences or memories or traumas removes any LESSONS in life that we have learned. How are we not to repeat the same mistake over & over again if those painful memories of what it cost US are removed from our minds.
Seems like it is ok for “them” to remove one’s own family if a parishioner/sea org member makes a misstep. How said is that? To block forever & remove from your life your own family because of a “belief system”. In retrospect it seems to be no more than a money making machine & a power trip for the COB .
As a diminutive male who is 5 ft 1 in tall…..what KIND of life did he have growing up within the confines of the organization…..was he ridiculed for his small stature? Was he bullied & picked on because he wasn’t as tall as the other guys? One has to think about it as him thinking “I’ll show YOU who’s boss”…….He is a COWARD….a “man” who needs to have a security team backup to protect him so he can beat the living crap out of his fellow human beings. What can one do when this “small man” lays punches on you, as Mark tried to defend himself when he rose & said to himself “IT”S ON”……I can imagine Mike Rinder thinking the same thing….but with a group of large individuals to secure DM’s safety…..you’d end up the loser.
One thing is for sure….someday someway, this is all going to come crashing down…..those who still firmly believe & want to stay have signed their own execution warrant….their lives, their children, their extended family & friends have been taken from them & they’ve no recourse but to accept it….OR ELSE.
As noted, I am a never in whose learned many many things about life within the organization….again, based upon all I’ve seen, read, heard etc….are ALL those interviewed liars????? I think not…….
We never ins are here to support ALL of you in any way we can…..even if it means only LISTENING or reading your stories. What you have lost will one day be returned……you know yourself what it will take for those “lost ones” to regain themselves & rebuild their lives….no worries…they have YOU to help…& US too!
Mary: I see your point of view. Thanks.
Terra, you sound just like one of those horrible ANJC members (Anti-NAZI Jewish Cult).
🙂
You should be declared Terra…. communication is a sin in Scientology and you are certainly sinning a lot.. hahaha
Anyway, I was moved by your essay, particularly this point:
“Expressing my true thoughts was a perilous endeavor.”
Everyone I knew in Scientology for 40 years felt the same way. This attitude started at the top because L Ron Hubbard punished, tortured and then expelled people who expressed their true thoughts. He didn’t want anything to do with true thoughts about himself or about the results of his auditing technology. If you were negative, in any way, you were blasted, beat down and sent to do manual labor until you “learned”. Period. And, survivors kept their mouth shut.
“True thoughts” in Scientology are a death wish, even if you express them carefully….
So, Terra, thanks for your true thoughts. They are brilliant and brave. Thanks for the essay.
You’re welcome, Robert.
I love this author so much!!! I would also like to point out the most clever and honest phrase: “Ironically, the more I communicated with the “outside world,” the clearer I became.”
Being embarrassed to admit I was a scientologist was a big thing for me as well. That alone should have been a sign there was something wrong. I HATED telling people I was one. I HATED being forced to FSM. I was embarrassed whenever the subject came up. Now I’m out, I’m still embarrassed to admit I was once in. How fucked up is that?
Thanks Terra for putting into words things I’ve experienced!
But, Vince, we were all duped. Nothing to be embarrassed about. And when you left you got your old life back! I know I did. Now that’s making things go right! I celebrate your true freedom!
Terra Cognita,
This is one of the most important posts I think I’ve read so far. I, like you, once I finally manage to somewhat extricate myself, never talked about the Sea Org, the RPF, Scientology. In my quasi-memoir I’m working on, I feel so many of us are blocked due to the ramifications of “hey what a loony she is” to “I really don’t like being stalked or harassed by loony’s when I speak up.” Being shut down prevents our healing process.
On the Aftermath Facebook page the newbies come in and we try to suspend their disbelief. Aaron Smith-Levin and I start rattling on about the Galactic Confederation, the Marcabs, LRH thinking he’s Buddha etc. Just when no one thinks it can get any weirder….
Chris Shelton has been very diligent on directing everyone to material to clear up the nomenclature and the why on the practices etc.
Scientology beliefs are so vast it’s definitely an almost exhausting, iterative process educating people. At the same time also cultivating empathy and compassion for the abused.
In my case, though I have been out for decades they started badgering me back in 2012 and then started Cyberstalking me after the announcement of Season 2 — and also sending threatening notes claiming I was never forced. I’m a relic from the 70’s, but as a kid from the PAC RPF and USGO (OSA) there is something in my past that is worrisome to them apparently.
Now I see Facebook feeds that others like me are also starting to get harassed who were just minding their own business – they tracked them down after literally decades.
Mike and Leah have created a forum where we can come out screaming and shouting at the top of our lungs from all the pent-up repressed horror……
En masse.
Yeah, I suppose they do have something to worry about.
Hi Terra, another great piece but I don’t understand how you can be out and still not declared! Could you or Mike expand on that?
Terra – This is perfectly communicated. I have experienced exactly what you say here and you have expressed it eloquently. I visit here every day to decompress, little by little. Yes, communication helps, thanks Mike for giving us a place to vent.
Well expressed Terra, your communication is welcome. This forum is a great place to speak one’s mind, unleashing all the pent-up thoughts and emotions one could never voice in the “church.”
Great post, Terra.
Spot on! Thank you Mike.